Someone knocks on my door. " Lil Miss Thang wake up you need to go to school in 30 minutes. Hurry brush your hair and teeth get dressed and take your sister at her school." My thoughts flash before my I was at Kelly's party last night,- when this cute guy came to me. I think his name is something like Shawn Carter he gave me his number and then I blacked out. The flashback stops Wow his sexy brown eyes his shaggy fresh cut brown hair made me fall in love with him. Momma said "Never let a man's looks make u fall in love with him. Let it be his personality and intelligence take over you." Maybe momma is right maybe I need to look for Mr.Right. Goes to get dressed and fixes my hair. "Solange hurry your butt up before I leave u here." " I'm coming can u make my lunch tho a turkey sandwich on honey wheat with lettuce and a salad and cheez-itz. Please momma said I need it." I roll my head and eyes. "Sure u big brat but I'm going to find u a boyfriend." Hope you guys loved it write your comments at the bottom I'll try to respond on your wall.
Use paragraphs when a new person is talking an make sure it's clear who is talking other than that
It's a decent start. Remember to check your spelling and grammar, spell out words, like you instead of u, and start a new paragraph whenever a different person starts talking. DETAILS!!! You need lots and lots of details, and vividly describe everything, from what they're wearing to their surroundings, even small things like the weather. Use good words, though. Instead of saying he had green eyes, say he had emerald eyes that sparkled mischievously in the sun. And describe exactly how she's feeling. Make the reader able to feel the emotions that are going through her mind. Make them be able to easily picture the scene in their mind. And keep writing! You can only get better Can't wait for more!
Thanks for the comments guys I'm taking ur advice and try to use as much as I can. Solange says "Bey if you set me on a date I will kill you. You know I'm not ready yet so stop."
I'm kind of confused, you need to work on your grammar and details, the plot is good, but you need to make it a bit more clear. Make sure when you finish writing you proof read and such. Lol sorry