Forbidden Love: Torn Apart 

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Ani-MAL-, Sep 14, 2012.

  1. Hey Lovelies! so this is yet another story by me! 

    yes I know the last one died down and I'm sorry but I'll actually keep up with this one, okay? 

    OKAY!!! here we go :)



    Alyssa Greene. 16. Junior. Artist. That's pretty much all the words that describe me. I stare down at my blank paper.

    I don't even understand why teachers make us fill out these 'GET TO KNOW ME' papers every year. It's not like they read them...

    I sigh and start writing. Before I know it the bell rings and I get to go home. I slowly walk towards the door, handing in my paper on the way out.

    Filling out all those papers was making my hand cramp up. I ignored the pain and walked home. On my way there I passed by a mirror. I couldn't help but look at myself...

    I wasn't considered ugly. I had some nice cheekbones, full lips, and my dark brown hair came all the way to my hip. I couldn't help but stare at my eyes. They were bright green, just like my mom.

    My mother had died in a drunk driving accident. She killed two other people along with her, but I usually tried to forget about that.

    I shuddered the thought away and noticed that someone was staring at me.

    I turned around and saw that it was Jesse. THE NEW KID.

    I immediately froze and started shivering. I didn't know what to do with my hands so I just put them behind me.

    He came closer and whispered in my ear.

    "Staring at ourselves, are we?" He said with a smirk.

    I frowned at him and he walked away.

    Jesse was hot. No doubt. But he was probably the biggest jerk alive. I could feel my face turning red with anger just thinking about him.

    I turned on my heels and continued to walk home.

    Than god I didn't have to live with him!




    THERE YA GO!!! COMMENT WALL ME AND TELL ME IF YOU WANT ME TO NOTIFY YOU WHEN THE NEXT UPDATE Is!!

    please tell others if you like it?? and leave any suggestions or ideas?? 

    DJ
     
  2. I luvvvvv it 
     
  3. awhh thank you :)
     
  4. Update more and don't forget details though u use pleanty
     
  5. I'll try xD
     
  6. Great start! As jennete said, remember to use TONS of details. And replace the smaller words with bigger ones =) Use a thesaurus!
     
  7. bigger ones???
     
  8. teehee soon 
     
  9. Bump!! It's awesome so far, details like Jennete said but it's great!!
     
  10. I'll update tonight lovelies 
     
  11. the update will be today for real!! sorry loves. 
     
  12. AHHHHHH! WHERE IS THE UPDATE!
     
  13. it's coming!!
     
  14. I'm so tired guys the update wi be tomorrow after work !! sorry 