Prologue Motionless. That was me. Completely and utterly motionless. A puddling of dark red blood surrounded me, soaking in my Mid-night dark hair. My icy blue eyes stared blankly. My blood ran cold, and my heart rate spiked. The smell of gunpowder flew through the air. A neck was pressed against my neck daring me to move. "Damn it!" A voice screeched above me. My body was lifeless, I was fading right before their eyes. The knife was pulled away. "I can't! I can't kill my own daughter!" "Do it!" A low, but powerful voice roared through the humid air. "No! Never!" I sat up quickly,gasping in shock. Another dream... I lay my head back down, panting for air. Goosebumps ran up and down my arms, causing me to shiver. My hand glided down my arm now feeling the soft shear clothing that hugged my form. My eyes quickly darted from corner to corner. My legs were sore, and my hand mangled down my back. I tried to climb out of bed. I quick wince and lays there. My feet were hand cuffed to the bed, and the hand cuffs nipped at my ankles. The silence was cut short as the door slowly opened; causing it to squeak. A older woman walked in. Her hair was wrapped right in a bun, and her lips sat in a straight line. Her face was wrinkly, but not to much to say she was an elder. She held a tray, and sat I down on my night table. "Hello Miss. Its nice to see you up." "Where am I..." "That my dear is a mystery. And it will stay that way until you are properly washed up, and have eaten." She left the room silently; the once sound was the click of her heels on the white tiled floor. "Wa-wait! I'm chained to the bed!" She stood at the door, smirked at me and she slipped silently into the hall way. Crap... I stare at the tray, picking up the oatmeal, and starts eating it. Then I noticed how hungry I have been. I devoured the oatmeal quickly. I picked up the orange juice and slowly drank it. It run smoothly down my parched throat. My body started to lose control. I laid back down. I fought myself to keep my eyes open. The darkness soon won, and I was swallowed whole. Soon my mind went blank. I didn't know who I was, and Where I was, or how'd I get here. I didn't remember my life. I didn't remember. How could I not remember? Who was I? ________________________ First book I ever written on here! Please give my feedback! ?thank you
Wonderful start.There are some technical errors -- capitalization, punctuation, spelling, grammar -- but nothing some more proofreading couldn't fix. Also a few tense mix-ups. Overall, not bad; intriguing and unique.
?BEAUTIFUL!! This is awesome for a first story. I remember my first story. I didn't put any Paragraphs.