Separate names with a comma.
Snow:-nods with a determined look to my face- meat got it
Scarlet:-widens eyes thinking 'Mentor?' And then picks up Lu and slowly exists the room-
Scarlet:-catches Lu and sighs- what is it with her and fainting?
Scarlet:-glares at Aki for his words-
Scarlet:-stares at Lu- what?
(Wait a minute when Lu said they should have nude pics of Scar and Sparrow did Aki say they did bc he sold them to them?? I just noticed that so I...
Snow:-nods and stands up- what food would you like?
Scarlet:-sulking now- I wouldn't kill her -mutters- just close
Scarlet:-pouts- I wanted to torture her
(Oh my god I would have commented but this was so funny and why did you suggest Nude pics of Scar?? Like she wouldn't sense anyone in her room...
Scarlet:-stares at Lu in horror- why would you do that!? Lilly:-laughs at the scene watching in amusement- I still think he's dramatic flare is...
Might want to make the updates larger and They're is -they are There- is what you want haha
Lilly:-growls and looks back to the action- Scarlet:-rises and turns to you- If he's not dead then why is there all of this blood?
Scarlet:-bends down ro feel the blood between my fingers- hmm feels like blood
Oh my brought tears to my eyes
Lilly:-raises eyebrow- then what does amuse the great Lancealot?
Yea I agree but I just was thinking we should start making our critiques more helpful that's my 2 cents haha
Aww sad but now I know what's going on haha
Lilly:-turns to Lancealot- oh come on the rhyming is my favorite part it makes everyone so annoyed and frustrated -grins- makes them do things...
Then shouldn't we say "Why don't you look at stories and Pm a snippet to me-who ever is talking- and then we can start over from there because...