Dad was still at Mrs.Hake's house helping. "How's dad going to react when he finds out Megan and Maddie are gone?" "Sad,angry,or happy." "You know he's not going to be happy!Maybe he's going to get mad be because I didn't ran fast enough to get home!" "Oh Dave.It's not your fault." "I hope she's going to be okay!" "Hwello! Max,Joseph,mom,and I turned around.Megan and Maddie were standing right behind us! "Megan!Maddie!" We hugged them tight like we haven't seen then in two years. "Why did you two go near the lake?!" "Sorry!We were picking berries.And we found a man.He's a slave taker but he doesn't take slaves." Megan and Maddie showed us the old man. "Sorry miss!I hope I didn't mess anything up.We were just playing a game." "Yes." "I was born as a slave.And I was the only slave there!So the real slave takers made me a slave taker too because I was good at catching animals for them!" "Well,you can stay here for a while." "I don't want to." "Why?" The man took off his face mask. "Are..Are you the slave taker?" I was afraid. "What'd you think?!" The man whistled and more men came.Two men each grabbed our arms. "Please let us go!" I tried to wriggle out but they were too strong! "What did we do?" "Yeah!What did we do?!" "Don't play with me!Your grandfather tried to kill me!But I killed him first!" I gasped. "My..My grandfather tried to kill you?" "Yes!" "But we didn't try to kill u !" "Oh come on.Don't play with me !" "But..But." Megan cried. "You were innocent to us." "I tries to trick you!" We tried to wriggle but it didn't work! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ orI'm sorry if I have any mistakes Or just bump! Guess Whts going to happen now?
The slave catchers took us to where they put slaves. "Why can't we just be free?!" "You kids have to work for us!" "No we don't!" They took us in their car. It was a fast drive. "Why are you going fast?" "Yeh!" One of the man didn't even answer! "What about school?" "Yeh!The teacher is going to think we're sick!" "No they wont!We'll just call her or him." "It's a girl!" We were there at last.I was disgusted because the house was old and dirty. "Why is it so..Old and dirty?" "Don't insult it!" "Okay!" We didn't talk the way in. "Okay.So all you have to do is catch animals for us,cook,clean the house,and wash the dishes." "Woah.That's too much!Aren't we going to be tired?!" "No!" I was worried I might get hurt catching animals and cooking because the animal might hurt me and the cooking will burn me! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sorry it's short but bump anyways please!
Next day,it was really really bad!My mom was only the one that was supposed to be cooking,catching animals,and other stuff. "Mom,do u need help?" "Its okay Dave." "Are you sure mom?" "Yes.I'm sure Dave." "Well.Okay then." I walked away and just sat on a stool. "Hey!Why are you just sitting there?!" It was a slave catcher yelling at me. "Get to work!" I was afraid he might hurt me but he just walked away.I got up and thought of something to do.I saw a slave catcher doing something to Megan.I had to do something! "Megan!Leave my sister alone!" I ran to my sister and tried to free her from the slave catcher's arms.He tried to hurt me but I ducked.I hit him and my sister was free from him.Slave catchers were holding on to my arms and I yelled. "Help!!Let me go!" The man that tricked us at our house was yelling to the other slave catchers. "Put him in the pit!" The slave catchers dragged me to the pit.It was really dirty with dead rats.I was disgusted. "Dead rats?!" I pinched my nose so I wouldnt smell it.I saw that there was nothing to sit on except for dead rats. I heard a yell and it was from my family.I was afraid the slave catchers might hurt them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sorry it was short but bump please!
this one isn't as bad, but it does need work Not much details are explained here, I'm not sure what anyone looks like, or what the area looks like I don't see were this story is going, what is the main purpose of this story? longer sentences, again would be nice. Short sentences are boring, and lack creativity