The "Rejects"

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *Chuck15 (01), Oct 12, 2011.

  1. This is my first story, so tell me how I can improve. Thanks.
    I also need some characters.
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    She hugged her mom and kissed her little brother (6 years old). "First day of senior school" she thought to herself "can't be much worse than middle school... Right?" She walked to the main entrance and went straight to her locker, passing by all of the people who she'd know since grade 1, no one noticed her. She opened her locker and put her bag at her feet and put her coat away, she then closed her locker and sat down on the bench right next to her, opened her bag and pulled out a black sketchbook and her drawing materials; pencil, sharpener, eraser, etc. She then started working on her drawings. She loved to draw, it let's her escape reality to a world of her own.
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    Stop or continue?
     
  2. Anyone got some feedback or a character suggestion?
     
  3. Please keep going, Good storyline 
     
  4. Thanks, before I continue I need at least 2 characters and 1 of them (or both, preferably both) will have to be a girl
     
  5. Can I be a character? Like of the future time?
     
  6. Yes, just post a description of your character and I'll try and work u in
     
  7. Thank you.

    [​IMG]

    She's no animal. She has violet hair. Instead of the red gem on her forehead it's a necklace. Her name is blaze.
     
  8. Ok now I just need one more character and we can move on
     
  9. continue make the girl 'Emily' or 'Ellie' (the main character)
     
  10. Emily it is :)
    Thanks for the feedback
    Anyone know how I can make my writing style better?
     
  11. ....It's perfect so far.
     
  12. We need to know MOAR to give you MOAR feedback
     
  13. No stop lol jkjk ya and I wanna be a character but continue
     
  14. Thanks for all the feedback that I've gotten so far!
    It really helps.
    But when giving ideas for characters can u please tell me their personality what they look like and thing like that not just a name.
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    The bell for the first class rang, so she packed all of her stuff and went to class, she had english next, she liked English. Her favorites were
    Math and science. During English class they talked about how to make personal stories and for homework she had to write some ideas for her upcoming personal essay. She had history and foreign language, then lunch. She was so hungry, which was unusual for her. She sat down alone at her table, what she didn't know was that she was about to meet the person that would change her forever. Someone walked right past her, stopped, walked backwards and then turned around and sat at her table. That someone was me, "Hi, my name is Charles" I said "what's your name?". "Emily" she said. Then she asked me how come she hadn't seen me before and I explained that I had just moved from Canada. "Welcome to London" she proclaimed.
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    Let me know what you thought.
     
  15. Yay main characters called Emily 