damnation

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by kittehwars, Sep 9, 2011.

  1. This place is dark and demented. Only the fires around you give you the least bit of light. That's right, this is hell, where the sinners are sent for their inability to apologize to they're lord for their deeds. But this day was different, five mortals were being lead through the enflamed halls, passing the cells of the damned, who's incessant screams howled through the depths of hell. The five were brought to a door, which was open and they were rushed in. There in a flaming throne, was Satan himself. He looked at the crowd and laughed " welcome, you slime balls!" as he said that, he grabbed a book and began to read it. "now let's get aquatinted." Satan chuckled.
    "first is Julie, who committed adultery and when she killed her husband for her 'new love' she soon learned he had left. She committed suicide to avoid penalty and the pain of the remaining life she would have to live." Satan laughed as he watched the ashamed Julie as tears rolled down her face.
    "next is Aaron, who had gotten drunk one night at a casino, lost his cool and managed to killed 15 people before he was gunned down." Satan laughed and looked at Aaron, "i can tell we'd be best of friends." he chuckled as he turned to another page.
    "oh," he said childishly, " you'll all love this! Bridget killed her whole family and committed suicide, by orders of ghosts!" Satan bursted out laughing. "my minions have been put to good use, eh?" he called down.
    "ok, next up is Charlie, who joined a gang, she stole, murdered, and lied. Until one day she was killed at her home while she was watching tv." Satan had a wide smile as he turned to the next page.
    "last but certainly least is chance, who killed all of the doctors at his mental institution and freed his criminally insane friends, they rampaged, but they were all shot down within an hour!" he laughed harder than ever. If you looked at chance know you'd wonder why he was in an asylum, but those impurities are removed when entering hell for satan's amusement when the come down confused. "now what do you want!" chance yelled out. "oh, yes, since you are some of the lowest form of scum we've seen here in so long, I've decided to to send you through... Um... An obstacle course." Satan was under exaggerating, of course, but he didn't care. "here are the rules, survive to the end and you will be sent back in time to fix your mistakes, if you lose, you will eternally lived as worms in the over world!"
    "if we refuse?" Charlie stepped up.
    "then you will be given more work than ever, no breaks, just work." satan smiled as he waited for their decisions, they were all yes. He showed them the gate to the challenge and they stood before it, referring their decision.
     
  2. YAY I got drunk 
     
  3. SO GOOD!!!! I love my sin!!!
     
  4. Opinions needed, please
     
  5. Keep going its amazing 
     
  6. I love my sin. 
     
  7. Regretting*
     
  8. I love it! Your a really great writer!!
     
  9. Am I in it? (sorry for sounding kind of impatient, but I am ) Btw, love the story
     
  10. Forget my last post. Sorry, should've checked the sign-ups
     
  11. SHA-BAM!!! I'm a murdering stealing liar!!xD
     
  12. Lol I love this story already
     
  13. Updates tomorrow (if I get to it)
     
  14. Love the title
     
  15. Bump I really like it so far!!!
     
  16. The group went through the gate, expecting a bloody tunnel full of the worst creatures in hell, but instead it was simply a giant bridge. Aaron turned toward the others as they just stared in confusion.
    "well?" said Satan, "move!"
    Chance pushed through the crowd and started to walk, Julie ran after him, followed by the rest. The bridge seemed to go for miles. Aaron stopped for a second to look below, just to find lava.
    "yeah, I know, big surprise, get moving!" charlie said as she passed. You could tell by charlie's face that she had absolutely no care in the world, this disgusted Aaron. The walked for 3 hours, then, Bridget fell to her knees, she wasn't used to such walking, neither were the rest, but they're better at hiding the pain. They all sat down and relaxed. Suddenly, Charlie blurted out, "so, what's it like to be insane, chance?"
    Chance looked at Charlie with an angered expression. "well?" Charlie said.
    "ok, imagine this,"chance began, "you're trapped in a straight jacket in a large cushioned room."
    "and?! That sounds nice!" Charlie said.
    "what sounds fun about that?!" Aaron asked.
    "come on, cushioned walls! What isn't cool about that, and crazy people have other people tending to their ever whim! Sounds awesome."
    "what is awesome about being a waste of space and air?" chance said without hesitation, "I served no purpose in life, and I knew it!"
    "no you couldn't! Insane people can't think, stupid!"
    Chance stood up and lifted up Charlie by the shirt collar.
    "my life was a living hell, and I don't need a spoiled brat to tell me what being insane is like!"
    Chance put her down.
    They both sat down again. Charlie looked guilty and chance looked like he could throw the entire group into the lava. Julie sat far away, with tears going down her eyes. Aaron saw this and decided to talk to her.
    "are you ok?" Aaron asked.
    "I'm fine!" Julie replied.
    "are you sure, because you seem sad."
    "it's just that, I had everything I could ever want, and I threw it away in one day, including the rest of my life."
    She began to sob now, Aaron decided to give her a hug and said "I will get you through this, ok? No matter what it takes!"
    Julie wiped away a tear "your a good motivational speaker for a drunk." she said jokingly.
    "I suppose i am." Aaron replied.
    Meanwhile, Bridget was fast asleep, and the others decided to follow her into dream world.

    Meanwhile in satan's throne room.
    "haha," he laughed "I didn't know I picked 2 too many sissies!" he laughed.
    "let's make sure they dont survive the next challenge..." Satan turned off his tv and went to a computer and began to design the next chamber.
    He chuckled as he used the human technology. "I guess those filth are good for one thing, amenities."
     
  17. Please comment and tell me what you think, things will pick up and start being epic the next part
     
  18. MOREE EPPICCNESSS!!!