Quite a long title, I know. And idk how long or how well this is written or how well it will be written. I hope well but I am a terrible judge of myself. Before I continue, though, I would like honest opinions about whether I should continue this or not. I know it's a long first post but this all goes together as more of a prologue type thing. And I apologize for the cussing but it went with the thoughts. And I apologize for no italics. But idk how to do that. Anyways my story (and this is my first thread so if I fail please tell me). Posty time!!!!!! and I'm not suicidal.... Just sayin. Today is the day. Today is finally the day. I'll do it. Today. And it'll be perfect. I won't fail. Not at all. No way. Its impossible. ...This whole "positive thinking" thing wasn't working. Jake sighed. Maybe I should try a different approach. He tried to motivate himself again. You do it or I'll hate you! Forever and forever!!! I'll never forgive you if you don't!!!! I might cry! Do it! ...nope. Threats Didn't work either. He was just gonna have to do it anyway. Okay. Here goes. Deep breaths. In, out. In, out. Yup. Totally wasn't helping. Skip it. Time to go in for the kill. He moseyed over to Christi at a snails pace and gathered his courage. Go time. "Christi...will you...will you...will you go out with me?" Wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans, he looked up at her hopefully but waited for the rejection he knew was coming. She would never say yes. Or would she...? "Ummmmm...eww!! Get away from me you freak! Why would you even ask that?!" Christi looked disgusted and turned away from him. "What a loser." ...Nope. She wouldn't. He was takin that as a no. He looked after her, downtrodden, as her and her crew began gliding down the hall, laughing at how hilarious, how clever she was. Obviously she was a riot. She spoke the truth. He was a freak and a loser. Why would he ever think she would go out with him? Of course she wouldn't. She was so above him. He couldn't believe he had even asked. Dejectedly, he turned to go to his bus. This day sucked. First, he failed a test. Then somebody spilled water on his pants. Did no one know how it felt to go around feeling like you just peed on yourself? And now this. Why did he even bother? He walked out the front door of the school, lost in thought, and began heading toward his bus. Why do I bother? Why do I care? Nobody else cares. Nobody. It's not even worth it. What's the point of life if no one cares? Why do I even wake up in the morning? Maybe I should just sleep. Sleep...and sleep...and sleep. And never wake up. I won't even be missed. I'll just...just...not painfully. I'll make it painless. Drowning? ...nah. I don't even like water. Electrocution? I could just drop my hair dryer in the bath...no. I might not die. That leaves...overdose? Yes. Overdose. The best idea. If I want to sleep forever...sleeping pills. Painless, relaxing, and definite. My usual dosage is 2, so I'll take...10 to make sure. No one will notice. And even if they do, the won't care. And it'll be too late. That plan is flawless. It's perfe-he looked up, distracted by a loud noise, to see his bus passing him. He'd be pissed but...this was his last time to be outside. Why not walk home and see nature for the last time? Jake turned, hit the main road, and began walking home. As he walked, he watched the cars go by. Red, blue, green. One right after the other, zooming by. He began to count them. One. Two. Three, four. Five, six, seven, eight, nine, - and then ten. Lucky number ten. Which just happened to splash him with muddy water. He'd be pissed if-okay. He was pissed. That damn car just got some fucking nasty ass water on my clothes. I didn't want to change my fucking clothes before I went to sleep. But now I have to. He had unconsciously stopped after being splashed, and was standing beside the puddle. Jake looked up, unseeingly, still thinking, and saw another car coming. He got splashed. Again. His anger built and built and built until...he was calm. He just didn't care anymore. He took off his backpack and set it down on the ground and approached the road. He briefly thought about how odd this would look: a kid that was wet and muddy, looking like he was about to cross the road, then decided he didn't even care. He looked, and saw a car coming. It was speeding, big, and it was perfect. Jake last said "Fuck this shit," and jumped. The car never had a chance to avoid him. It hit him head on, and he was pushed back at breakneck speed. He heard a crack, felt a sharp pain in his back. That was the last thing he ever felt. Floating. The clouds, sunshine and warmth. Wonderful times. He felt as if he was loved and cherished and-who turned the air conditioner on? Bewildered, he looked around...and saw his mother. Bawling her eyes out. His father attempting to comfort her and failing miserably, breaking down himself. His little sister sucking her thumb and crying like there was no tomorrow. How could he-why could he...? "Mom?" he whispered, waiting on her to turn around, tell him what was wrong. But she didn't. "Mom?" he said louder, and louder again. "Mom. Mom! Mom mom mom mom MOM!!!" he called, but she acted as if he were invisible. "Dad?" His father never looked at him either. No one did. He wasn't there to them. He needed their attention. Maybe if he... "MOM, DAD!!!" he yelled, stomping around them. But he was paid no mind. He ran at his father. "DAD!!!" he screamed, his voice cracking, sounding hoarse. He jumped, to land on his father, take him down...and went right through him. "Dad...." he cried. Cried and cried until he couldn't cry anymore. He grieved for the life he had lost and wondered what was happening. He cried until his family had gone to their separate rooms, his sister to her bedroom and his parents to their room. Finally, though, he got up. He wanted to see his sister. Would she see him, recognize him? He walked to her room, and on the way in her doorway, hit the frame. As usual. Only this time, his shoulder wasn't knocked back. He wasn't slowed down at all. He went straight through it. No. It couldn't be. He couldn't be. He looked down at himself and screamed. Again. Well, hell. He was a damn ghost.
Lmao thanks gee. And thank you bunny and kayla. But...should I continue? I'm not sure it flows either....
Lol yeah I do know. He does this all the time. so he's no biggie. Never really take what he says to heart.
Thanks DEBBY. But should I continue? I've read stories that I thought were good but shouldntve been written....