This is just a little part of a story that I'm writing so please comment and even criticize if you thing I need to change anything The shadow was of what seemed to be a man. Muscular and dangerous. My heart was beating faster and faster, racing. My breathing accelerated and I stood from the sitting position I was in. I felt a presence behind me and whipped my head back. Nothing. When I turned back to face the shadow it was gone. Disappeared into the night that was approaching. Closing my eyes and taking deep breaths I turned back to the scenery I had always loved. The sunset made the sky look like smeared water colors. Waves from the very blue waters before me crashed down on the sandy shore. The overwhelming scent on sea salt filled my nose. Boom. A loud burst of thunder bellowed behind me, quickly followed by a silver shock of lightning. I nearly jumped ten feet in the air and silently laughed at myself. 'Its just thunder Val'. Small drops of clear rain fell from the suddenly cloudy sky, making my jet black hair damp. Sighing I stood up as the rain fell faster from the sky. I slowly trudged back to my car when something pulled me back. A steel grasp snuck around my waist and a big hand covered my mouth. "Hello little Valerie." The masculine voice growled in my ear. I couldn't even face my attacker before everything went black. Emptiness cradled me in it's arms until numbness flowed over me. Not even the strong arms holding me could keep me from drowning in sleep. ************ so like I said that was only a small part but please comment!
Lol I'll write more soon I just randomly wrote it off the top of my head! Dont be afraid to give ideas if you have them
My throat burned. Like swallowing fire. I slowly opened my eyes and glanced around the room I was being held captive in. Darkness. Dark and empty were the only two words to describe the room. Cold metal stung my wrists and ankles as I tried yanking myself upward. I was helpless, there was no way I could escape. I shivered violently, rattling the heavy chains that bound my body. The room was freezing. Ice cold. "Help!" I croaked, but I winced as the burning in my throat intensified. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn't hold it and let the salty and cold water run down my face. The hard metal door in the far aide of the room flung open. The shadowy figure of a person stood in the doorway. My head snapped up and I tried screaming, only to have my voice caught in my throat. "Hello Valerie" A masculine voice sneered. I knew that voice. A voice that had said my name so many times before. But it just couldn't be. The man chuckled and stepped into the room. I gasped when I saw his face. My brothers face. ----------------- Sorry for such the long wait!!! But I promised I would continue!! comment please!!!
Sorry its not very long, not alot of detail either....but I'll make it up to you on the next part!!!