Awesome job dude!!! the beginning so descriptive, and I didn't get lost like I would in other stories!! It was short and scary and was to the point which made it more enjoyable
January 26th 11:48pm Some where in Nepal The long procession of jeeps and off-roading vehicles made there way along the winding mountain passes the cargo, high school juniors, bouncing around trying 2 either find a steady spot 2 sit or gaze out the window into the massive chasm below. "Mr.Davids" shouted one of the students, "y d we come all the way out here 2 learn about the Nepalese Culture we could have stayed in the capital Kathmandu" "Well we came out into the mountains 2 learn and study the traditional cultures that have been nearly unchanged here for a... I couldn't focus on wat he was saying I usually did but now someone else had my attention. I was staring out the back of the Jeep into the passenger seat of the one behind us where my closet friend Felicia sat, her brownish-blonde hair bouncing about as she tried 2 keep from falling over it made me chuckle slightly before i heard "Seth wat r u doing?!? Is my lecture on Mountain tradition not as interesting as the road we just drove over?!? "I...I wasn't looking at the road sir...I uh was watching the man with the herd of yaks down on that hill" I motion 2 wat seemed 2 b a monk guiding large cow like animals around a gentle sloping hill" "aw yes well that is fine as I was saying the yak is a..." I just zoned out watching Felicia try and stay calm in her jeep she hated heights worse then she feared freezing 2 death My phone, that had long since lost it's signal told me that it was 1:36Am wen we arrived in a little village In the center of a massive mountain chain that encircled the village on all sides but one "everyone u already know ur rooms grab ur belongings and get 2 sleep we have a long day 2 morrow I grabbed my duffle bag and Felicia's suit case. I threw my duffle bag angrily into my single room and placed Felicia's on her bed in her 4 bed group room She followed me in with a smile on her face and threw her arms around me. "WERE ALIVE!" I thought we were going 2 die! "Yeah I know Felicia I know just sit Down take a few breathes and relax I'm going 2 my room and I'm sleeping for awhile okay? Sure bye? She said with a slightly puzzeled expression. I threw open my duffle bag and I pulled out a bag of sun flower seeds I kept from the States I always ate them 2 steady my nerves. Then I pulled out piles of clothes before I found my climbing boots specially made. And I checked the compartment in the bottom(reason It was specially made) my Survival knife and a few 9mm rounds, in the other my 9mm hand gun(I got big feet and the boots hide it easily) I put the gun back and i strapped the knife 2 my 2 my ankle so it's partially hidden by my boot. Before I got decked out in my climbing and snow boarding gear I was nearly out the window wen I heard commotion in the room beside me, Felicia's room! I told u guys it would be a little Bland I gotta stop writing for a 1/2 hour of so I gotta leave post again soon
Yeah I'm bad at writing slow portions action scenes are easy these not so much and cliffhanger on accident
I heard loud conversations coming from Felicia's room and the door slammed shut. In a panic I climbed out the window and slid it closed behind me prior 2 falling back into the snow. Had Mr. Davidson checked my room and found me sleeping decked out like this he would know something was up. So I sat frozen in the snow for a few minutes until I saw a shadowy mass exit the building. My heart nearly burst from my chest, He was going 2 catch me and kill me!! But then the figure turned around and motioned for someone 2 follow, and someone did then another and more after them, a total of six shadowy shapes left and started walking towards the mountain. I slowly stood up and peeked into Felicia's room which was void of all occupants except Felicia's suitcase...
I dropped back 2 the ground and felt my pockets for more sunflower seeds as I popped them in my mouth, soon after I started following the shadowy figures for hours as they trekked through the mountains. As the sun rose over the mountain tops I could start 2 she who they were 3 guys 3 girls an I knew some of them Clay and Deion, two guys from my high school Clay was an athlete and was smart but partied 2 much for it 2 show, Deion was even more so Athletic and was a prankster and partier, were hauling a large cooler and they started pulling drinks from the cooler and as they finished they would simply toss it to the ground. After picking up the discarded can I discovered it was a beer can! The other guy was Jonathan he was a really smart guy that wouldn't really drink unless his girl Sasha was there and she was. She was a slightly short brunette that was a partier and was in love with Jonathan I still didn't know who the other 2 girls were for sure. After hours the girls stopped at a little cabin while the guys kept trekking up the mountain until they reached a flat portion a ways up. I skirted a while away from the girls and started trekking up to a point high above the drunken idiots. Then they pulled a box out if Jonathan's back pack they fiddled with it until they backed away and waited for... BOOM!!!(not good w/sound affects) The box burst open and colors whistled Into the air and exploded high above. Fire works the drunken idiots r lighting fireworks in an. Avalanche zone! I ran as fast as I could 2 get 2 a point above them on the mountain before I could drop in and startle them. As they lit fireworks I turned and strapped myself into the snowboard and I pushed off towards them. Watching them shot bottle rocks into the air as
I know it is just a reflex that I have learned im sorry i will tak that out of my typing to appease u