Sounds like you were doing something of the sort of drama, dancing or maybe musical comedy before deciding go for your studies. Either that, or a sport with a toxic team.
It can be extremely difficult to let go of grudges, especially because they are not formed out of thin air. People do make mistakes and break trust and it is absolutely not easy to look passed those things and move forward so I admire that you are taking the steps to let go of that anger. I think its important to always remember someone's actions but to see them as a human, beyond just mistakes they have made. Also, you made me cry with your first paragraph. I think your strengths are the things I need to work most on and I honestly strive to be more like you.
Oh ye you ain’t wrong in a way, my way of doing it all ain’t always flawless but influence from one bad egg can ruin the whole coop ya feel? And people listen to the loudest voice in the room often. Feels bad man.
You are right. I hope you find a group of friends who share your ideals and moral code someday and feel comfortable enough to get close to them. : )
For my close friends, I usually will. I try to be nicer since they’re my friends, obviously. Yes, I think it usually pays to tell the truth. Everyone, along with me, is entitled to their own opinion. Although, I don’t think I’m ever mean or hurtful when I’m telling them my opinion. If you’re being an ass or rude to people when you say what you think, then you’re not helping the situation. It takes less time when you cut to the chase, but sometimes people can take it too far.
Tbh I was (am) a toxic person. My mood swings are the worst and I used to lash out at others irl. The ones that I lashed out at are patient souls, and I felt very bad because they didn't deserve that kind of treatment from me. So I ended up doing other things to ease myself whenever I feel down or frustrated. Listening to Queen of The Night's Aria from The Magic Flute helped me a lot lmao. I also write short notes about my feelings and remind myself to be positive whenever I'm on the verge of breaking down. Keeping my mouth shut is probably the best way to prevent myself from hurting others. I have a friend who is as toxic as I was (am), although she may be a little more selfish and in denial of her mistakes. And thanks to her, I was able to reflect on myself and also work on my patience. When we celebrated her birthday two months ago, she apologized to us and decided to change herself. We didn't meet these days since we're all busy with our own lives, but I'm rooting for her as well as for myself too.
I think the moar important step you can take to working on your issues is to acknowledge them and a lot of people never end up doing that so it's really great that you have. The notes thing? Dude... that sounds like a really good idea. I am sort of mind-blown by how simple that is but how impactful I think it could be and am going to start doing that myself.
Currently trying to get more order into my life. I sort of took on an idea that the layout of how we spend our days, weeks, and time make us who we are: Planned or unplanned, and if you want change, plan accordingly. This means that I do some language learning, exercising, study, and reading every day. If we spend lots time each day doing random things, they stack up over time. Even 15 minutes per day stacks up to a gnarly amount of time in a year.
That we are. And sadly some jobs invite more drama than others. I also became maybe a little too detached from people in general. That would be the negative part but overall I have more meaningful friendships and relationships now and I am actually going somewhere with my life so those are huge positives. I could tell you soooo many stories about backstabbers and fake people that surrounded me back then tho. From a partner cheating on me with a friend I had introduced them to a week ago. To my daring revenge plots that actually worked. My life was one of those young adult tv shows pretty much. It was awful and I was awful too.
My problem is forging long lasting friendships with people. I'm quick to make friends but slip ups and arguments cause me to drift away. So I'd like to work on being patient, exercising forgiveness, and getting some problem solving skillllllsss. Definitely want more genuine friends in 2019 who I can love and rely on and vice versa. Hit me up
I originally wasn't going to post on this but eh I used to be extremely bitter and angry at the world due to something that happened my freshman year of high school. So I would just go around screaming at everybody for looking at me the wrong way or generally thinking I was better then everybody else cause I went through horrible things and they don't know anything because "woe is me, I'm so sad and emo...". ? I was a bïtchhhhh, and didn't have ANYTHING nice to say to anybody. I'm honestly disgusted by the way I acted and I'm constantly trying to better myself. So now I like to think I'm a lot nicer, I try to think about how somebody else feels before I open my big, fat, sassy mouth. I'm also much calmer and way less bat shyt insane, which is always nice.
I think some of us actually get a bit *too* wrapped up in other people and don't actually take the time to reflect on who we are, as a person, so I think some of us could benefit from being a bit more detached from people, tbh. I am glad you have found a way to keep the toxic people out of your life and to become a better person in doing so.
Forgiveness is definitely difficult and the tricky part is knowing when to forgive and when to walk away. I hope you will be able to make a lot of lasting friendships and that your experiences in the last help you improve upon these qualities.
Sometimes, it is hard to be kind when you are going through an internal struggle so I understand that but I am happy you have grown as a person into who you are now.