Mental Health Question (Sensitive Topic)

1. If a person starts talking about wanting to kill their self, let them realise that they have family and friends that love them and wouldn’t want them to be gone. Death always leads to sorrow.

2. If someone starts lying about a family members death, there’s usually a reason for that. Find out that reason and fix it, so that the person feels no need to lie to you about such things for attention or sympathy

 

Had too many experiences like this with friends of mine . First things first is to hear them out. Hear why they feel their life has taken them to wanting to give serious thought to that decision. In many cases and from personal experience with helping others they just really need someone to listen to them and who can somewhat resonate with what they are going through. If you aren’t already, try and be as open minded as possible when they’re opening up and really try and see from their perspective. They will fully appreciate that. More importantly that person needs to be shown genuine love and compassion if you truly care about them.

Also do not try and guilt them with the point about their family and friends being sorrowful if they did. A good portion of their sorrow could be from their family members and touching that subject could be like pushing them further.

Most important thing to know is that they are trusting you with whatever they’re telling you if they do decide to open up to you.From personal experience I’d advise strongly to not ever go behind their backs and try to get them professional help even if you have good intentions you’d easily set them back deeper into whatever state they are in and they might be even more inclined to take action on that. Let them come to the conclusion to speak to someone who can professionally help them on their own. It’ll speak volumes to them.


I’m not too sure how to answer your second question though. ?

 

When we were younger, my boyfriend had told me about how he had been harming himself. I did the usual comforting things ー told him I loved him, I was here for him, he was important, that sort of thing. But I also texted his mom and told her. I don't recall if he was mad at me for it, but tbh I wouldn't care if he was because he was able to get help he needed at home. He no longer harms himself.

Now of course this could be different if it's someone online that you don't have the information to contact a parent, or if the parent in question wouldn't be supportive and helpful. I don't know what I would have done if his mom wasn't understanding.

For the lying about a family member's death (and the person lying is suicidal), I assume they're kind of projecting their suicidal ideation on someone else, if that makes sense. Like, they want to die so they say their sister died so they could receive the sympathy surrounding a death.

 

I think, as with most things, it depends on the individual. If someone is threatening to kill themself, I'd ask myself if they are doing it for attention, sympathy, to keep you too afraid to leave them or if they are actually genuinely suicidal. In my experience, if they are already at the point of wanting to take their own life, just being a good friend to them and a shoulder to lean on is not going to be enough. I have tried and failed and would never make that mistake again. Now, if I genuinely believe someone is suicidal, I will try to get them to seek professional help.

In regards to someone lying about losing a loved one, it depends on the individual as well. When I was younger, I used to tell people my mom passed away because she was no longer in my life, we had an awful relationship and I just didn't ever want to talk about it. Then, when she did pass, however, I had no one to talk to about it. In hindsight, I shouldn't have taken that route but those were my reasons for it. While I think it is always wrong to lie, and especially to lie about something so serious, I think the response to something like that should depend on the individual and why they did it. Usually, I'd say the kind of person who would lie about something like that is the kind of person who is unhealthy to have around.

 

Is this in person with someone you know or over the phone on PIMD?

If someone’s talking about killing themself, talk to them like you’re having a regular conversation.
Of course acknowledge the topic at hand by saying something like “Look, I know you’re extremely upset right now and your feelings are valid, but let’s just talk. Let’s have a regular conversation and see how you feel at the end. Okay?”

If they say no, just keep talking and trying to de-escalate the situation until you get them in an okay and receptive state.

If they say okay off the bat, lead into the conversation normally, but ask about things you know they love.
“How’s your pet been? I have/haven’t seen you posting about them a lot.”
“How’s your family been?” (If they’re close with their family.)
“Hey, did you see the ad for that new movie? It looks really good. Any movies you want to see, I need suggestions”
“So and so is dropping a new album whenever. There’s been a lot of hype about it.”

Just little things to remind them that there are things to look forward to. It really helps to calm them down.

After you have them in a calm place, slowly bring up how they’ve been feeling to try and understand where they’re coming from. Empathize with them. Even if you can’t relate to how they feel, make them feel like they aren’t alone.

After it’s all said and done, contact the local authorities if you can.

If they’re lying about someone dying, sorry but they’re probably a pathological liar and they need to speak to a mental health specialist. You can’t fix that yourself, so just let them know it’s not okay and tell them to go talk to someone.

 

It's just really hard to explain what you would do in cases like these but this is what I did for the person I care for and who at one point felt their life had no meaning. It may sound like nothing but I was simply there,genuinely truly listening to every word they said. Hugging them even when they would push me away&having them cry all they wanted&needed. No judgement at all. I reminded them about all the good things they had, told them that life is beautiful even with all the b.s that comes with it&that the only person that has the power to fight those demons haunting their mind was themselves. Everyone is different though, but if you're going to try to be there for someone battling this, do it with all that you have or dont do it at all. I'm happy this person I know was able to overcome but like I said everyone is different and as unsettling as it may sound, sometimes some just don't want to be saved and we can't fight the battle for them.

 

1. Can't say whatever that's not already been mentioned on this thread. Unless they feel/know its their only way out, let em be I guess. People tend to know more about themselves than as much as others claim to know them.

2. That's an attention seeking move to get validation. I'd definitely not trust them like I used to

 

I’ve been in the mental health field for years and am a psychologist. Things like this, they can’t be treated the same. Every human being has a different chemical make-up and because of that, you really have to know the person and what they are going through to truly understand, even then, knowing them and being them are two separate things.

When it comes to suicide claims, this is rough. It’s about knowing the person. I’ve screened people in the past and had to place them in institutions for short term stays in order to regulate medications. Behavioral Health Hospitals rarely take people unless they are a danger to others or themselves. A few things can be done if you’re not a professional in order to gauge whether or not it’s a serious claim.

First, it helps to be face to face. If this is online then it won’t be easy. Often times you can read more off of a person by body language versus their words. NEVER ask if they are going to do it. Try NOT to remind them of burdens that might make them do it. It’s important to figure out if the person has any future plans. It’s a bit sneaky, but ask something like “What are your plans for tonight/tomorrow?” Calm, soothing discussion needs to happen first. If you don’t have a good rapport with the person, then you’re probably not the best to do this. If there are future plans for the person’s life, this is not considered an immediate threat. If there is no future plans to live out one’s life, seek immediate professional help.

If you learn that the person intends to live out their life, be their ear, shoulder, whatever they need. Don’t judge. Don’t speak. Let them talk or let them be silent. Sometimes more is said in silence than discussion.

It’s also a good idea to evaluate whether or not the person has an actual plan. Usually if they have intentions to actually go through with it, they’ve been thinking about it for a while, and they have an idea how they want to go. If they can’t identify a plan, more often than not, this would not be considered an immediate threat. If there is a plan, seek out immediate professional help.

If they’ve expressed their plan, then means, or capability to do it needs to be taken into consideration. However if there is a solid plan and means are accessible, that’s the moment you call the police or emergency professionals, tell family, friends. Do whatever you can to reach out.

As far as the second question... I’d find that to be an attention-seeking behavior. It’s possible that the person isn’t as in sync with reality as they could be. If something like this is done, there isn’t much you can do or say. It’s clear that there is instability if someone could lie about losing someone so close to them.

That’s my professional perspective. Personally, all of it saddens me. I realize that whoever this is needs professional help. It however, does hurt to see false statements regarding loss when I have been affected by losing my sister. She was 25. My heart still hurts after a year. I’ve seen people lie about loss before and it never really hit me until I lost my baby sister. Now it makes me sick to my stomach. I’m not the best to ask how to handle such a thing.

 

Questions, questions, questions. I find questions are the best way to not only understand their situation more but for them to let out anything they needed to. Once you’ve gathered enough information, start suggesting alternate ways to deal with said situation.
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If someone else has done harm to them, assaulted them, etc. They’re not always going to want to go to the proper authorities or the hospital, and you shouldn’t force them to. Either way offer to go with them and let them know you’ll be there for emotional support.
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I know some people who are embarrassed to let others see them cry and will ignore you when you try talking to them. For these situations you have to understand it has nothing to do with your relationship with the person personally and call someone who they’re closer with. While you wait for them to arrive stay back at a distance where you still have a view of what they’re doing and can stop them from any bodily harm in an emergency, but also so you don’t feel like you’re making them uncomfortable looming over their shoulder. A lot of my friends are like this and I’ve never once felt bothered when I got this text/call and it has never angered my friends but instead they appreciate it. Once the person you’ve called arrives, leave and let them handle the situation.
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Never guilt them by saying how much your family is going to miss you, your family is going to blame themselves, etc. It may work but it puts such a huge burden on them for the rest of their lives and trust me it doesn’t make them feel any better.
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Always make sure you check up on your friends whether they’re known to have suicidal tendencies or not. Remind them you love them and make them understand you’re always there to talk. Ask they how they are every day.
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Edit: I feel stupid posting this after the professional but oh well

 

All depending on who it is, I don't get involved.

 

Don’t feel stupid! The more experience the better!! Books are one thing, interaction is what matters. How do you think people wrote the books that we learn from anyway? Documenting observed interactions! Even then it’s usually a controlled environment! Also, you cannot repeat procedures with mental health. New person, new tactic! Your info is awesome!

 

Usually when someone says that, they need someone to really listen to them without judgment. People tend to be quick to judge and it discourages people from being more open about their weaknesses or troubles.

 

Suicide doesn’t take the pain away, it’s just passes it on to someone else - Smartass 2k19

 

Awe I just read sex metal barbie’s response. So touching ️

 

Well I saw a YouTube video with a lot of helpful tips. Never make them feel guilty for feeling like that, don't play the card you'll hurt your beloved ones, etc.