I wanted to help some people here and I found this article to share with forums... How to Break Free from Victim Mentality “1. Take ownership and responsibility for your own needs and wants. Determine what you want and what’s important to you. Name it, and do what you need to do to make it happen — for yourself. Don’t waste time blaming or getting angry at those who don’t want or need the same things you do, don’t wait for them to come on board or help you get what you want. Get busy taking care of what’s important to you, and leave the others out of it. 2. Practice saying “No.” If you don’t want to do something and don’t (realistically) have to do it, don’t do it. Remember that you are allowed to have needs, just like other people. 3. Stop blaming. When you hear yourself going into blame stories, whether against other people, the world, life, whomever... say “stop” to yourself out loud, and actually turn your attention away from your blaming thoughts. 4. Become aware of the root of your sense of powerlessness. Before you construct the next narrative on who’s stealing your power, get curious about the underlying feelings of powerlessness that precede all situations. 5. Be kind to yourself. When you’re blaming the universe and life for your suffering, you’re not actually attending to your suffering or helping yourself feel better. By claiming the victim role, you are intensifying your pain. With victim identity in play, you’re not only suffering because of whatever happened, you’ve now added to that suffering the fact that you don’t get what others get, because you’re cursed, life and everyone in it is out to get you, and basically the universe hates you. (Feel better?) 6. Turn your focus to helping others. When you’re in victim mentality, the whole world is about you and your pain. Acknowledge your suffering with kindness, and then consider how you can help another being. As counterintuitive as it may be, the more you feel deprived, you more you need to give. Offering kindness is the surest antidote to “Poor me.” 7. Practice gratitude. Victim mentality focuses you on your suffering, specifically what you’re not getting. Try flipping your perspective and focusing on something that matters to you, that you do enjoy, and that you do "get." Shift your attention from what you’re missing to what you have. 8. Write a list of the ways you can change the bad situation. When you feel like a victim, you convince yourself that there’s nothing you can do to change your circumstances, but that’s almost never true. Get busy with how you can try and improve the situation, even if it feels impossible. 9. Practice empathic listening. When listening to other people, try listening with the intention of feeling what they’re saying from inside their heart. Stop focusing on what you need to do about what they're saying, what you think about what they’re saying, or anything else that has to do with you. Listen as if you were just ears hearing, without putting yourself in the way. 10. Practice forgiveness. When you play the victim role, you’re deciding to hold onto bitterness and anger and the certainty that you’ve been wronged — often without even investigating what the other's intention may have been. Instead of poisoning your own experience with resentful thoughts, try practicing compassion and understanding for the other. Start a new habit: make dropping resentment and trying out forgiveness a daily practice! There's nothing good about living as a victim, or with a victim, but with awareness, a desire to change, and new habits, you can outgrow the mentality. A life lived with gratitude and kindness is far better than one of resentment and bitterness at the short end of the universe's stick. Empowerment and self-command are available to everyone, and with a new attitude and new behaviors, they're yours for the taking. The first step is simply to decide that you're ready to stop being a victim. Are you?” Written by: Nancy Colier, LCSW, Rev. is a psychotherapist, interfaith minister and the author of the book The Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World. Thoughts?
Love this! Especially number 2 and 5, which are things I’m personally working on and 10 specifically with my ptsd but that’s a damn strUggLe, but 2 and 5 are definite big ones I suggest everyone works with, even if they only struggle a teeny bit with them. Learning those things can be hard, but they’re definitely worth it.
:lol: it's true though. When you stop playing the victim you become become a Republican or an Independent real quick. The left looks insane to anyone who takes control of their own lives. You gain the, "I did it, so can you" attitude
This is hate culture chill you are attempting to make actual victims illegitimate and I can’t accept you doing this, also where are the donuts
I was about to say I only have popcorn, but I actually have Tiramisu and Champagne. Sparkling Pink Lemonade... if you don’t drink alcohol... we can get some donuts too though... however you rockin, I gotchu.... feeling terrific rn.
Stuff I need to work on among that list include saying no, listing what to do to improve a bad situation, and practicing forgiveness. Accepting advice on these things?
We are influenced by our world but we also have free will and self-control. However free will and self-control are muscles that need exercising.
“Be aware of [our] roots” but I’m not a vegetable so no does that work.. I do watch veggie tales a lot though. Kids man.. kids.. Point is, I’d really like some Cucumber lemonade.. do you have any? Also, pineapple pizza is a choice and I think everyone should understand it’s good af.