My neighbor has three kids. Two are elementary school aged and the third just graduated high school. I THINK she’s a nurse or at least does something which requires her to wear scrubs. Her oldest has taken care of the other two as she’s a single mother..he’s gone above n’ beyond what a kid should have too. He took a job to help pay bills and even switched his schedule every time hers switched. Yet she consistently screams at him. I’m talking about they’re in their house and I can hear them from mine type of yelling. I want to desperately smack the absolute shït out of her. She speaks to him like he’s total garbage. I can’t stand these types of parents. You’re basically setting them up for failure. How do you give birth to someone only to act like that?! So parents, do you agree with raising your voice to “teach a lesson” or do you go about it some other way? For people with no kids, if/when you have them how would you go about communicating with them?
Raised voices in a result of frustration on the part of the parent. I do not think you should scream at younger children as a form of punishment because it has been shown to prohibit developmental growth. Just punishments cannot be handed out when you yourself are emotional. If she is a nurse then it sounds like she has a stressful job... not that that excuses it. She just needs a better outlet for stress management and relief. If she is berating, insulting, and belittling him, then you need to contact the police or preferably CPS directly (or your country's form of it). That is verbal abuse.
My uncle is so far the best parent I have seen.They have a lil girl and I have never seen either of her parents raise their voice and she is just growing up better than most kids are.They do punish her at times but in a different way for example not giving her the pocket money for a week or she has to say sorry before she can talk to them and she also gets her own time and space. I think you need to understand that everyone needs some space and so does your child and you can never force your own dreams and personality on the kids. Some people are just frustrated because of theor average jobs and broken dreams and take that frustation out on the small lil kids and scar them for life.For me those people shouldn't be a parent in the first place.
If that’s the only way that child, whatever age, can be disciplined because they don’t listen otherwise, then it’s mostly alright. However, as someone who was constantly screamed at by my parents and knew to be scared if a voice were raised, it can be extremely damaging. For me, a sudden raised voice directed towards me can set off triggers with my PTSD, but most cases aren’t so severe. I believe what should always come first is talking. Sit down with whomever it is, especially if they are younger, keep any distractions away like toys, phones, pets, etc., and speak to them. Maintain eye contact as much as possible and try to keep a steady voice, especially if they’re still trying to argue back or not listening.
See that’s how I feel! I do understand working in a hospital is extremely stressful. I basically grew up in one and the staff has a never ending job. I just wish she didn’t take out her stress on him. I worry that he’ll never feel good enough and that breaks my heart. No one should ever have to believe that about themselves. I don’t think she realizes how lucky she is. The town I live in has a huge hard drug problem. He could be out shooting up or killing people but he’s not. As for the whole some people shouldn’t be parents thing..I’ve said for years that I wish there was a feasible way to “test” parents before they can bring a child home. I know that sounds messed up but so many people pop out kids not caring about their emotional/physical well being.
Actions speak louder than words. Get the broom. jk. It's tough but don't judge the neighbour too harshly. She's probably trying her best. I'd just focus on doing the best job I could, and offer advice where it's welcome, and only contacting authorities if intervention is necessary.
you on the outside looking in ..so don't judge her parenting...it's easy for people to speak about parenting especially those who are not parents
That’s a fair statement. I feel like I judge more harshly because I use to be a manager where this kid worked. He use to tell me about things in a round about way and back then I was too self absorbed to realize he was asking for help? IDK he’s such a sweet kid that I worry about him a lot. I’m not a parent per say but at one point in my life I was dating someone who had a kid. He use to call me mom and I raised him like he was my own flesh and blood. I just can’t imagine someone speaking to their kid in such a manner. That’s all
My dad still yells at me and calls me names when I do something wrong, he doesn't hit me anymore though. But I turned out just fine and I know exactly where the line is to not push it any further, so it's all good in da neighborhood. I'm very thankful for my dad tbh. He raised me on his own and I was a handful as a child. But now that I understand alot better, whenever we argue, it's more of a debate that quickly goes away due to the fact that we know how to simmer eachother down w/ jokes and that sort. But yeah, that's just how my family is in general. We all yell at eachother and say mean things but lowkey know we're strong af and would do anything for eachother. It's Asian tough love I guess? Hahaha. I wouldn't have it any other way.
First rule of parenting, don't listen to parenting advice and criticism from people who don't have kids. Who are you to judge her? You have no idea what's going on in their life, you don't even know her well enough to know her occupation. You have no idea what standards she sets for her kids, and it's none of your business to step in.