Jokes

Tell me jokes. Here's one to get started:

Knock knock

who's there

Dishes

dishes who

Dishes Sean Connery

 

Omg dead lmao

Three nuns are hit by a bus while crossing the street and die instantly. They're waiting at the gates to heaven when Saint Peter approaches.

"Sisters you have devoted your life to our Lord and served him well. If you can answer a question about our faith you may sit at Jesus's table for your first day here."

The nuns excitedly agree to this. Peter turns to the first. "What was so wondrous about Jesus's birth?" After a moment she exclaims "the immaculate conception!"

Poof Bing Angel wings she's magically sitting at Jesus's table.

Peter turns to the second nun, "What was miraculous about Jesus's death?" She thinks for a second before her eyes light up - "the resurrection afterwards!"

Poof Bing Angel wings she's magically sitting at Jesus's table.

To the third Peter asks "what were Eve's first words to Adam?" The nun thinks for a minute...then a minute more and another. She's stumped! She continues to rack her brain and mutters "oh my, that's a hard one..."

Poof Bing Angel wings she's magically sitting at Jesus's table.

 

There's a joke in the movie grandma's boy where they are asked if they'd like wheatgrass shots, and the guy replies "that sounds great if I want to throw up but not be drunk" (or something like that). I used the line once when this innocent yuppie co-worker talked about wheatgrass and he thought I was comedic gold. I never did tell him where it came from. Sorry grandma's boy

 

I feel like this is a dad joke and I genuinely love dad jokes so I laughed lol

 

Yi mam