hi this is just some thoughts about non-lgbt identities - that is to say, identifiers that define aspects of sexuality other than the genders one is attracted to, such as "demisexual" (sexual attraction to people only after forming a bond aka being normal) the solution to people not being able to express their sexuality in one or two words is not creating 1,000 micro-labels; it's an understanding that you don't NEED to communicate the intricacies of the attraction you feel toward other people in one or two words. human sexuality is complex! human relationships are complex! the way that i, as a lesbian, view and am attracted to women is not the same as how every other lesbian views and is attracted to women - and that's okay! it doesn't matter! i don't NEED strangers to know how well i have to know someone personally to want to have sëx with them at a certain time of day and how much of that attraction i want reciprocated in what lighting. i don't NEED to give strangers a detailed list of micro-labels that define every specific aspect of my attraction to women; i like girls! that's all anyone needs to know unless a relationship is going to develop, and in that case, i would much rather have an actual discussion about what i want or need in a partner than say "i'm demi-homo-cupio-romantic, homo-placio-asexual" moreover, most people dont even have a concrete understanding of their own attraction/desires/etc, and to assign fixed microlabels to oneself and then experience an attraction/desire/etc that contradicts that... more often than not makes one feel as though they've lied about their identity (or gives one an otherwise bad feeling that's difficult to articulate). i get that it's nice to feel like other people relate to your sexuality and all, but other lesbians exist. other bi people exist. other pan people exist. you can relate to them without sharing with each other the intimate details of where and when you feel attracted to what and who. if having hundreds of sexuality definitions out there to choose from has somehow helped you, that's fine, to each their own i guess. but i wanna emphasize that it’s not necessary - and often very uncomfortable - to like, divulge the particular way you experience sexuality to strangers in the form of a few prefixes. tldr; just say you're gay, janice
Good for you, I’m glad you don’t need specific things like some people need, honestly. It’s tough needing specifics and more than one label, so it’s honestly great that you’re comfortable with a single sèxual identity. The key phrase in what you said is about how “to each their own”, though. If someone, like myself, needs those labels to be comfortable with themselves and is searching for labels to be comfortable, to each their own, right? It’s not hurting anyone, and if someone doesn’t want to hear about it, they can express that and move on, hopefully the other person is just as respectful to not continue on.
^ why would you EVER "need" someone to know the exact depth of bond with someone at what time of day in what clothing you need to feel sexually attracted to them. why.
I just liked knowing which ones were offensive... I don’t ever want to alienate or mislabel anyone by mistake or purposefully.
That’s a bit extreme. I understand what you’re saying, but making it out as some huge thing and a joke is a bit much. People want to share who they are. People want to be accepted; they want to find people like them. I’ve talked to people about my sèxuality and had them have a “oh my god, I’m like that!” moment and it helps them identify that part of themselves. It’s not always a bad thing.
It's more of a respect thing. If someone wishes to be labeled, let them be and respect it. No need to ask "why?" if it doesn't involve you whatsoever.
it's not an exaggeration at all. im using literal things ive seen people claim as sexualities. you can share who you aren't without a dozen microlabels that are not sexualities and serve to further invalidate the lgbt community.
Please understand that many people who do that are trolls. I’ve seen people who do the whole “I only feel attracted to someone when they look exactly and wear exactly blah blah blah” but they’re giving a bad light to us because usually they aren’t truthful. If someone is actually only attracted to people wearing a specific clothing or color, good for them. Is that hurting you? No, it’s not. Yes, I believe that when people actually have such specific attractions, they should look into it and make it more broad, but it’s okay if they can’t. If someone puts in their bio what they are, so be it. People can ask about it or they can ignore it. It’s not the specific persons issue.
No disrespect to anyone, but why can't we just bury this? Personally, your sexuality and what you do behind closed doors AREN'T relevant to me. As long as you respect me & don't harm me, then we're good. This literally went from trying to help someone understand terminology to arguing and nit picking.
Exactly. There's no reason to try to force views about terminology abuse upon others. If people wish to be labeled, then respect that. What people want to be known as is completely their own.
the attraction, no. the microlabel, yes. nine times out of ten these people claim their microlabels make them lgbt (especially with the example of demisexual) and use it as an excuse to invade lgbt spaces/talk over actual lgbt people. if it wasnt hurting us i wouldnt raise issue with it. furthermore, as i said, it invalidates actual lgbt identities. we've all heard the painfully unfunny "i identify as an attack helicopter!" as a way of mocking trans people - this is a DIRECT RESULT of "otherkin" on tumblr claiming they can identify as animals/characters/etc and because of it, people write off ALL nonbinary/trans people as nonsensical. exactly the same with mogai/microlabels. shoving more unnecessary terms into a society that's already struggling to accept "bisexual" is naïve and selfish at best. again, NOBODY needs to know the specific circumstances of the attraction you feel. you're straight up a narcissist if you think strangers online care that you only screw 32-36 year olds on the 6th date after drinking chardonnay in a bathtub. no one needs that info. and if you think condensing said info into microlabels to be shoved at strangers so they know the intricate details of your sëx life - details EVERY SËX LIFE HAS, by the way - is more important than LGBT people being taken seriously, just admit you care more about feeling special with your quirky labels than you do about actual lgbt issues ¯\_(ツ)_/¯