What are some of your guys favorite jokes This is mine, it's called everybody knows Dave Dave was at work with his boss one day and a new client comes in and goes "hey Dave!" And Daves boss is sitting there and goes "Wow Dave it's like everyone who comes in here, knows you?" And Dave says "Well yeah I know everyone" and Daves boss is like "come on that can't be true" and Dave says "yeah it is go ahead and say anyone's name and I'll prove it" So Daves boss is like ok... hmm tom cruise "Yep," says Dave "old friend of mine we can take my car and go to his place in Hollywood" So they drive to LA and get to a house and Dave knocks on the door Tom cruise opens the door and is like "woah hey Dave! Long time no see!" And they chat for a bit Dave boss is shocked but still skeptical so he's like ok what about the president? And Dave is like "oh yeah him? Friend from college, let's go to D.C" So they fly to D.C. Where they see trump outside making fun of children or whatever he does and Trump smiles and waves "Oh hey Dave? How's the wife and kids? I'd love to chat but I'm busy tweeting" Daves boss is shocked but he has one final test "Do you even know the Pope?" Daves boss ask Dave laughs "of course I know him we go wayyyy back" So they fly out to Rome (I think forgive me if I'm wrong) and there's thousands of people there and Dave goes "Well the Pope will never be able to see me in all these people, I'll go see him and come out on the balcony I know all the guards" 20 minutes later out on the balcony comes pope and Dave When Dave is done he goes back down to find his boss but someone says his boss was taken to the hospital "What happened?" Asks Dave upon arriving at the hospital "It was the final straw.. I had a heart attack I was so shocked!" Says Daves boss, "when you and the pope came out the guy next to me went 'Who the F is that next to Dave?"
A teenage boy is getting ready last-minute to take his girlfriend to the prom. He heads over to the Tux shop to rent a tux, but when he arrives, there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Once he finally gets his tux, it's a size too small but it's the last one so he takes it and leaves. He then heads over to the florist to get some flowers for his girlfriend but when he gets there he notices there's a huge line there as well. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers but they are dry and dying. He needs a way to take his girlfriend to the prom so he heads out to rent a limo in a hurry. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, he finally gets to the front ant rents the last limousine available, which turns out to be a very ugly and old limo with a very rude driver. He's out of options and running late so he takes it anyway. He gets ready and heads over to his grilfriend's house in the limo. He shows up in a busted limo, a small tux, and hands her dead flowers. They then head out to the prom thinking it will be a disaster. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.