In a remote stretch of land dotting the Mojave, where no man or woman walks, a small house stands. If one looks at it from the West, they see Vegas's many casinos, and when they look to the east they see the mountains. The house itself stands one story tall, with blue paint peeling off it's old stone walls. If one decides to ask anyone in Nevada something about the house, they say they have no idea what you are talking about, for the only people who know about it are within the house. When you step into the house you are overwhelmed with blasts of cold from both your right and left sides, but you see nothing else in the room in motion. After looking around, one will notice a wall, two other walls with doorways leading you further into the house, and no smell whatsoever. The entire house is furnished with very old couches, chairs, tables, and rugs, all in an appropriate place. The next thing you notice is the wooden floor boards, covered in dust. Going through the doorway on the left will lead to a kitchen and dining room. Taking the right door way leads you too an empty room with a single door on the left of you. The door opens and you see a stairway shrouded in darkness, followed by a putrid stench that nearly drives you away, but your curiosity keeps you going.
Slowly walking down the dark stairway, the awful odor increases. When you finally make it past the stairs, your feet touch the damp rigid stone of what feels like a cave. In the cavern there are four torches scattered throughout the walls. Then your eye catches a somewhat familiar structure in the center. You approach it. A great feeling of remorse, sorrow and pain overcomes you, and you collapse to the floor feeling like a thousand pounds are on your back. If you do not have the strength or will to go on you stay on the floor and pass out, never to be heard from again. If you do have enough strength and you can move, you sprint towards the stairway and make your way out of the house into the desert. However, if you only possess the will to change your direction and crawl to the stair way, you stop dead in your tracks to notice a pair of yellow eyes peering at you from within the shadows, next to the stair way.......
Constructive Critism babe Heres advice. Dont say 'You turn the corner and see a wall!' Try this. 'I turned the corner, expecting the worst, only to find nothing. In front of me was a useless, dark, out of place wall."or even this," Tom turned the corner, expecting the worst, only to find nothing. In front of him was a useless, dark, out of place wall."