Baby Making Lesson

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by sleepwalk, May 30, 2017.

  1. How would you try to explain to a young child how babies were made without using sexual or vulgar language? ?

    My teacher made us write an essay on this topic and we came up with our own ways.

    Ofcourse there are the common "Stork" and/or "Doorstep Delivery" lessons, but the point was to stray from those and be original.

    My lesson:

    When a Mommy and Daddy want a baby, they hold hands and cast a magical spell on themselves. The spell allows them to have the power to bond.

    They then give eachother a very special handmade present which seals their bond to eachother forever. After the bond is complete, Mommy goes on a 9 month adventure to Baby Mountain.

    When she reaches the very top of the mountain, she will find their baby laying in field of flowers. Mommy then takes the baby back to Daddy and everyone lives happily ever after. :')


    If only the world was that perfect

    I cringe at how many times I said Mommy and Daddy


    Make your own pls so I can laugh at you just like you're laughing at me rn.
     
  2. Just tell em you found them in toilet m8
     
  3. My dad used to tell me he found me in the toilet, garbage, landfill, street, etc etc.

    #Triggered
     
  4. Its fun messing with your kids like thative convinced my daughter her middle name is goofball.
     
  5. LOL forever make her believe that and watch her tell her friends her middle name. Giggles4life.
     
  6. Just tell them if you completed a story like pimd.. Then you get a baby
     
  7.   ️️️️️️=
     
  8. Your dad was hungry for some cat , and forgot the number one rule, wrap it before you tap it.
     
  9. Eating animals has nothing to do with babies ? Try again k
     
  10. When I was a kid my cousin was convinced that to make a baby, daddies has outtie belly buttons and mommys had innies and when they were put together mommy got pregnant.
     
  11. A rice and a fish loved each other very much. The fish ate the rice. It pooped out tiny little ricefishies. 
     
  12. Is it just me or the term 'ricefishies' is really cute? 
     
  13. For some reason belly buttons scare me, I'd hate to live a world where that's the action of reproduction :(
     
  14. Is this our future, Riceball? <3
     
  15. Son its time for you to become a man and learn how babies are made.

    *turns on pc takes son to adult website*

    I would win father of the year award. :)
     
  16. The way procreation work is actually really simple.

    first a mommy and daddy get cuddled up in the bed and they snuggle together while holding each other tight

    Secondly they morph into these dimensional beings with 37 eyes 75 arms and 3 and a half legs as they slowly fuse with one another to make a flying spaghetti monster

    Third they morph back to human form with the mommy having a baby bump and they go eat snacks
     
  17. If this is what you plan to do with me, I'm all for it. <3

    Spaghetti monster for the win.
     
  18. well then ?
     


  19. Of course this is what I have planned for you, maybe even foreplay and we can also eat snacks before AND after the second step
     
  20. My Mom swore she was pregnant after she kissed her 1st boyfriend.. My Dad used 2 say I was poop on a rock & the sun hatched me.. He used a much more colorful word than poop though.. .. U can always say the Mom kept wishing she was pregnant & eventually she wished it true..