I was sitting on my veranda with my tracksuit bottoms on, drinking a hot chocolate when some plebeian comes along with an empty bag looking angry. I asked him what's up as I swatted a mosquito on my arm. He was at Bargain Booze trying to get some ... ahem... and a couple of beers, but the cashier was his ex, who told the council and his benefits were cancelled. I asked him why he was walking and where his car was, but he was none the wiser. I felt sorry for the poor man, so I offered him a delicious cup of tea and an ABOMNIBLE RIP OFF OF MARMITE sandwich. He politely declined as he'd feel like a burden, but asked to use the bathroom. I obliged and showed him to the lavatory. After he'd finished, I asked him what he had planned. He said that he might head down to the pub, for a few drinks and gamble for a while. He might even try pulling if an attractive young woman initiates a conversation. I told him, don't get caught by breathalyser road blocks on his way home and that he's welcome to sleep on my sofa. I even informed him that I'd skip school for a spot of fishing on my boat, if the sun was out. He had a rather good chortle, called me an uncouth, then wandered off to the pub. Feel free to correct any mistakes
:lol: :lol: :lol: OMG!!! I'm sitting with my mum and grandmother, and may or may not have had an inappropriate outburst of giggling very nice translation!!