the death sentence

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *__supermonkey__ (01), Jul 8, 2011.

  1. [chapter 1]

    as i walked down the asle toward the gallows with my life passing by my eyes my life was horrible it was nothing but crime i stole i killed i was part of a horrible blood thirsty gang and now my life is over. i knew this whould happen some time im charged with 20 robberies 5 accounts of assault law officer and 240 murders. i am a horrible person i deserve this i know that my life ment nothing tjese cops dragging me to my death. and since im really wanted and despised they are gonna hang me in front of 45'000 people not to mention hundreds of thousands of people watching i know that noone will care about my death exept fory girl friend elena and demian and ryanmy former gang mates i watch at all the people booing...booing at me.



    should i continue this first story and if u want to be part of the gang plz leave discription below thxs 
     
  2. u should continue hun
     
  3. im open for critism and my nxt chapters will be way longer
     
  4. It's a good idea. Don't get me wrong. But since you want critism, here you go. 1. You need to learn to use punctuation. Yours is all askew. 2. You need to learn proper capitalization. 3. Please check your spelling. 4. Try to use a wider amount of vocabulary. And 5. Explain your ideas a little more. It'll help to make the chapter longer.

    Well that is my advice  Fix the little things and it should be good to go. Good luck!
     
  5. I wanna be the master mind
     
  6. I love it! It almost sounds medieval except for the fact of the other thousands of people watchin on tv, except medieval times didn't have television
     
  7. Name: Nikki
    Height: 5'4
    Looks: shorts, tank top with a cami, and flip flops, brown eyes and hair
    Personality: likes to have fun, kind- hearted, honest, friendly, can get pissed
    Age: Whatever you need
    Part: gangsta!! Yo!!
     
  8. Continue plz! It's great so far!
     
  9. ok thxs and nikie u can be in it
     
  10. Oooooh can I be in it plz!
     
  11. sure leve discription
     
  12. Samantha
    Tall skinny black hair and eyes
    Light skin
    Likes wearing shortskirts,shorts,tank tops,sandals and slippers.
    Role:anything!
     
  13. ur in but ur kool gang name is sammie
     
  14. Put me in it
     
  15. will do quagz u can be tge gang second in charge
     
  16. MONKEY YIU KNO ME!!! can I get in Luke? Same description as Mickayla from my story:)
     
  17. Update