Polite Insults

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by BEWBS, Oct 22, 2015.

  1. Hey Bewbs here, 

    So i know we should always spread the love.......but sometimes people really do get on your last damn nerve :roll: 

    However, i think we should all practice some self control, hold our tongues and instead use some of these super polite insults instead....what a better world we would live in ;) 

    Feel free to add your own :p 

    :| May that escaped piece of Lego always find its way under your foot.

    :| May every sock you wear be slightly rotated, just enough for it to be uncomfortable. 

    :| May every guitar pick you use fall into the sound hole.

    :| May your mother come to talk to you, and then leave your door slightly ajar, so that you have to get up and close it.

    :| May your cookie always be slightly too large to fit inside your glass of milk.

    :| May your article load that extra little bit as you click a link, so that you click an ad instead.

    :| May your headphones snag on every door handle.

    :| May both sides of your pillow be warm.

    :| May all your Facebook notifications be game invites.

    :| May you forever feel your phone vibrating in the pocket its not even in.

    :| May your tea be too hot when you receive it, and too cold by the time you remember its there.

    :| May every 'empty' parking space you see in the distance actually contain a motorcycle. 

    :| May you always get up from your computer with your headphones still attached.

    :| May your life be as pleasant as you are.

    :| May your chair produce a sound similar to a fart, but only once, such that you cannot reproduce it to prove that it was just the chair.

    :| May you always choose the slowest cue.

    :| May you press 'A' too hastily and be forced to speak with the nurse at the Pokemon centre all over again.

    :| May you have your laptop charge overnight without noticing the chord isn't plugged into the wall.

    :| May your five year old neighbour have their violin lesson during all of your hangovers.

    :| May you step in a wet spot after putting on fresh socks.

    :| May you never be quite certain as to whether that pressure is a fart or poop.
     
  2. 
     
  3. :lol:
     
  4. how ruuuude
     
  5. My personal favourite 
     
  6. I love these threads :lol:
     
  7. :| may your face always look like a donkey
     
  8. May your power go out next week when the new Empire airs
     
  9. Nice 
     
  10. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your nether regions and may your arms be too short to scratch. :geek:
     
  11. May you have your phone with you when you get thrown into the pool fully dressed by the dude you call friend.
     
  12. 
     
  13. You are by far, the nicest person I'd never want to meet ?
     
  14. May your foot always find its way to the rock hidden in the grass.
     
  15. I like this one
     

  16. no insults for you. I like you 
     
  17. What have forums become ? I'm done with this game again for the 5th time . sniff ya all later
     
  18. May it rain heavily every time you walk out of parlor after getting your hairs done
     

  19. I'd help you out.....but i don't know which way you came in 