Hello guys, Winterberry here. So I saw -_iEmanon_KingOfThe_-CYP-'s post in Forum and that inspired me to post my own suicidal poems. (They are mostly hidden in figures of speech/metaphors.) Please don't read it if you're depressed, maybe you'll get more depressed. I write this poems in my notebook when I felt like suicidal, so I can remove my heavy feelings. My favourite childhood doctor said to me that in order to make your emotions light, you should write it in a paper. And I deliver them by poems. I'm actually afraid to post this because of trolls and close-minded people, please if you are one of those people please don't just say hurtful things. :cry: let me fly to Neverland let me swim to Atlantis let me crawl to Wonderland let me run to Pan's Labyrinth let me dive to Bermuda Triangle let me explore Mount Olympus let me find the world's missing ruins let me love the beauty of South-East let ne dance with the burning Phoenix let ne sing with the maids of Pandemonium let me tell you the story of Athens but first let me jump into a deep pit let me inject a cruel needle let me paint my wrist let me take my senses away
Berry Can Code now so its been brought to my attention that you can code now.... Congrats and good thread Izzer Out...
I really like the imagery for sure. I just think that it needs some basic structure. There are hints of it, but you could draw this out more. I could tell you what I mean in more detail but don't have the time atm. Anyway, I mention this bc right now it reads as incomplete. The second stanza is powerful but imo, too short. You're on the edge of some rather powerful imagery in this part, so if you do some edits later on for whatever reason, this is where you could do so much more (but perhaps maybe that's already apparent). Idk if you were looking for this sort of feedback but sorry I'm used to editing this kind of stuff ? ANYWAY, I like this. Thank you for sharing.
Very beautiful, i agree, when i had problems and felt down, i would always write about it and it made me feel happy