So one day when I was younger, our school teacher took us on a field trip to a cotton processing farm out in the middle of nowhere. When we got there, we got handed bags and got told to go wild. I being me, thought I get to take it home so ran around collecting a huge bagful. The teacher rung her bell and told us we had to hand over our bags. I being a rebel took a large handful and threw it in my pocket. A few days after, my momma asks why I have unprocessed cotton in my pocket, so I tell her and oh jesus the look on her face. She locked the teacher in the room screaming "My son is not some slave for you, you dare do that again and you'll be behind bars." She took me out of school for a whole week, muttering about how they treated me like a slave. Funniest story I have.
A man wasn't getting sleep at night. Wife: Why aren't you getting sleep? Man: I took a loan from our neighbour, and now I don't have money to give back. Wife: Wait, I'll solve it. Wife went to the telephone and called the neighbours. Neighbour: Hello? Wife: Hi, this is your neighbour, my husband can't return the money. K, bye! She put the phone down. Wife: There! Now he won't get sleep because of worrying about his money.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? A: He thought his wife was a flake. Friend gave me this lol
A woman meets with her lover, who is also her husband's best friend. They make love for hours. Afterwards, as they lie in bed, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation: "Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Love you, too. OK. Bye-bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?" "Oh," she replies, "That was my husband telling me about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you.
If I get the key, it will go to my club MVP, Warren ...who is on my club wall. Here's my daughters favorite joke: Q: What kind of socks are a pirates favorite? A: Arrrrrrrrrrgyle! lol...I think it's cute. Have a beautiful day.
A woman lives with her husband. the husband always gets home late every night really drunk. So on night the wife gets fed up with him and dresses up in a scary costume and waits for her husband to get home. the husband arrives home drunk as usual, the wife jumps around the corner to scare him. the husband looks at his wife and say "Im not scared of you devil, because Im married to your sister".