I might be high on herion right now so I don't know if I'm tweaking the hell out or not. So don't FREAKING SCREW WITH ME JIGGY. .... When the hell did I promise cookies?
Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors. By now, I suspect you're attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis, after reading this.
If you look at a screw, you can see that one piece of metal (an inclined plane) wraps around another piece of metal (an axis) in a spiral ie helically if you attach these pieces of metal (a screw) to a piece of wood, for example, you'd say that they are screwed together, sooooo it means you're screwed.