Chapter 14 ~ Carlos She was contemplating something when I pulled away from her. "Come on, let's get you home," I comment. A frown slips on her face; confusion lacing her eyes. I put an arm around her shoulder, my other hand gripping her backpack that was resting on my back "what is it?" I question, smiling slightly. When she looks up at me, I can tell Kafi skipped my smile and looked at my eyes. She shakes her head as we walk towards the back of the hall. How can I explain this to her when Ana told me not to say anything. I focus to find that we were just inside the main doors, before we reach them, I slip my arm from Kafi's shoulder. Before she processes what is happening, I have gently leant her against the wall. Unconsciously I step closer, almost regretting that action immediately. My eyes take in her figure quickly, spotting her watching me, curious of my intention. Okay, I really shouldn't of done that. Running a hand through my hair, I twist away slightly "what?" Kafi stutters, getting my attention again immediately. I need to hurry up, they'll come looking for us soon. "Just don't believe everything they tell you about me, okay?" I say softly, Kafi looks bewildered at my comment, so I continue. "You just have to trust me," her head was tilited in confusion "I always have." She signed in response. I nod "just remember who I really am, not who they paint me to be," I say quietly, my eyes not leaving hers. Taking off her backpack and my jacket, I hand them to her and she takes them. Kafi turns up the collar on the jacket, a smile tugging at her lips as she sniffs. I smile then, my concerns almost slipping away. "I'll message you when I get home okay," I tell her and she nods, "just don't forget." I bend my head to place a kiss on her forehead, but she tips her head back to look up at me. Then it was definitely too late. Her soft lips met mine and she brought a hand up to cup my cheek as she kisses me back. How many times I have dreamt of this and now it's happening. My heart is stammering in my chest but we both can't break away. I pull away for air and see Kafi trying to get air into her lungs. It's just starting to sink in. My mind flies to the conversation in the music room and my heart stops before shattering on the ground into too many pieces. I step back, shaking my head slightly before walking away from Kafi; further into the school. As I walk, I hear her first perfectly formed word all day "Carlos?" Kafi calls after me. The tears have already started falling as I go, she can't see me like this; she'll think it's her fault. When it isn't. It's Ana who has got it into her thick, blonde, love-struck-over-Felix head that I'm no good for Kafi. She should know that I care about her more than anything. It's always been Kafi. Yes I have seen other girls, but Kafi was my first, just now. I couldn't stay with those girls, it wasn't fair on them, they had no chance compared to hummingbird. I can't look back at her, but the door opens and shuts, her footsteps disappearing. She walked away with my heart as I know I've got hers; I could tell from the pain in her voice. Already I know her hurt voice because of Ana. I yell and punch the wall in frustration before I lean my back against the wall and slide to the floor; head in my hands. Unknown footsteps approach "want company?" Oceane. I wipe my eyes and glance at her from the side of my hand "sure," I mutter quietly. She sits opposite me instead of beside me, that's different. I must of raised an eyebrow because she laughs "I noticed you needed words rather than physical comfort," she explains, tucking her legs beneath her. I cross my legs, still leaning against the wall, "you could say that... Is it that obvious?" I question, cringing slightly. Oceane glances to her left, I follow her gaze to see half of the cheer squad petrified and the other half admiring my arms. I groan covering my face again, "how much did you guys see?" "Only a girl's voice saying your name, but she wasn't someone from here, and you make the dent in the wall." My eyes instantly flick upwards to see a small dent in the wall; brilliant job Carlos... "You didn't recognize the voice?" I probe to see Oceane shake her head "No, the voice wasn't from around here." "Alright." Kafi's still safe, that's fine. She's still safe, her secret is still safe, that's fine. As long as she is safe; I can survive. When she is happy, that's when life is worth living. Kafi kept me from becoming a robot, almost like Felix, using girls, losing myself to work and depression. I think, by the looks of things, I had the same effect on Kafi. Although she wouldn't of used anyone, she would of just slipped away into silent depression, not being able to communicate how she really feels. I freeze. Not being able to communicate how she really feels... I should have known that. Just now was the only opportunity she has had to communicate it properly. Maybe she doesn't know what love feels like as she's only had the Patel's, Corbin, Felix. Me. Possibly she doesn't know how to show it because of her childhood. Her childhood. That's where her problems stem from, that's where mine stem from. Why hadn't I made that connection before? She was eight when I first met her, nearly ten years ago now. Maybe the reason why she didn't speak like everyone else was because of things that happened. I've seen her adoption file, she was constantly moved around the UK, never had time to settle down when she was in the foster care system. Why was that? What was the link between them? Unless someone kept finding her. But who could have kept finding her no matter where they put her? They say parents always remember their children, maybe it was her parents. Or one parent in particular they didn't want around her. My eyes widened and I think I went pale ages ago because Oceane was offering me a cup of water. "Isa got it, it's definitely water, I saw her get it out the fountain. The others disappeared when you hid your face again," Oceane explains, so I take the cup. Slowly, I sip a bit of water, trying to ignore my shaking hands, now I know how Kafi feels when she figured out who Robertson was. "I've already told the teachers you won't be taking photos as you were feeling ill," Oceane says as I drink. I look across at her small figure beside me "thanks," I just manage to say. She laughs quietly, looking back at her lap "it's alright, you needed time off. You needed to relax for once, especially with making sure Kafi is okay all the time." I trusted Oceane with how I felt about Kafi. It was easy to speak to her about anything. If I hadn't met Kafi, I would probably be with Oceane. But once Kafi walked into my life, she's always been on my mind. Oceane and I got talking when I was helping her with maths last year. Earlier I saw her give me a look of pity when Queenie, Sophia and Veronika turned to face me, I didn't think about it properly then. I'm going to regret this question but I have to ask, Oceane is the only one who will tell me "what did Felix say earlier in the cafeteria? You know when the, hmm, let's say, three queen cows turned round." Oceane turns away at first, but laughs when she hears my description of the head cheerleader and her sidekicks. She looks at her lap, this definitely wasn't good, " he said, and I quote, my twin over there is single and looking. He'll be wandering around the trials for the clubs tonight with his camera if any of you want to keep him company. That's when they turned round and why we were all by your guys lockers. Veronika wanted to get her hands on Felix before Ana or Lian did. Then some how they found out about maths last year," Oceane shrugs slightly. My jaw was tight, my fist clenched resting in the other hand. "He knows how I feel about Kafi," I growl and Oceane cowers slightly. "Sorry, he's annoyed me," I say quietly and she nods. Oceane places a small hand on my fist and uncurls it. I glance at her profile, she could easily pass as a pixie. She looks up and I blush, looking at my hands from being caught watching. Her laugh sounds in my ear and she swipes my hair out of my eyes, her breath catching slightly when my grey eyes flick to hers. "I can see why Kafi watches you and takes pictures of you more than anything else," she comments quietly. That's new... "What do you mean?" I question, my head tilted slightly. A small smirk played on her lips as she debated whether to tell me or not "you don't know?" She asks, trying not to laugh. This is bugging me now, what's going on? I shake my head slightly, making her laugh. "Kafi has a blog, where she posts every day under the name Hummingbird. Usually if she had taken pictures that day, there would them with her post. I didn't know who it was at first, but then I saw a picture of all of you. Sat on rocks in the local mountains, that's when I realized who it was. Of course I had seen pictures of you and the others, but they were the ones that you use on your social sites, I had presumed she just looked at tags and saved random pictures." My jaw dropped, I genuinely think it could be touching the floor. "You really didn't know? This is brilliant," Oceane comments laughing. I shake my head "seriously?" I just manage to say. She gets out her phone, hitting different parts of the screen until she passed me the phone. As I scroll through the blog, Oceane continues explaining "as you will probably see, most of the pictures are of you. When I first started watching the blog, I thought you were a model she was obsessed about because the lighting and set up of each picture is amazing. But then I saw how she wrote about you. It captured every living detail I see sat in front of me." As I listened, I quickly read the posts, looking at the pictures. Oceane was right, this was certainly Kafi, using our nickname to write a blog. Zach will kill her if he finds out about this. Oceane continues, "Carlos, I think she's in love with you..."
Chapter 15 ~ Kafi He was still worried about me believing in him when I put on his jacket, turning up the collar to breathe in his scent. Carlos smiled but he still wasn't relaxed "I'll message you when I get home, okay?" He says and I nod in response. I still haven't looked up yet because I'm still processing how we are stood here. "Just don't forget," he whispers. Why would I forget, I never forget anything, I look up in confusion, causing his lips to meet mine. He kissed me softly and I bring a hand to his cheek to keep his lips against mine. This feels so wrong, but so right at the same time, kissing my best friend. My best friend... Maybe he feels the same way I do otherwise he would of pulled away by now surely? I'm surprised I'm still standing, then I remember that I'm leant on the wall. It finally sinks in; I'm kissing Carlos Miller against the wall in school. My first kiss, and it's Carlos... Carlos pulls away, breathing slightly heavier than normal. My heart was still ringing in my ears as he steps away like I've burnt him. What has been said? This is starting to scare me... He shakes his head as if he's remembered something and walks away, towards the hall. What is he doing? I push myself to standing, ignoring my weak, protesting legs. There's something wrong, I think he's crying as he walks. "Carlos?" I call after him to get no response. I know it's killing him not looking back, but he doesn't change his mind. Scooping up my bag, I head out the door, it swinging shut behind me immediately. If only he knew how I felt... He doesn't know the blog I keep, I don't think anyway does from here. I have quite a few subscribers, but I think they're Carlos/Felix fans, I don't use their real names, I'm not silly. You can never be too cautious these days. I try to plaster on a normal expression as I approach Felix's car, where him and Ana were sat in talking, facing away from me. When I open the car door, behind Ana in the front passenger seat, they fall silent. "You alright?" Felix asks as I climb in, eyeing up Carlos's jacket. "Yeah," I reply quietly. Felix looks across at Ana who was shocked, I could see in the wing mirror "alright," Felix replied. He obviously didn't believe me, but didn't mention it. The engine fired up and he pulled out of the car park, heading towards home. Felix kept glancing at me in the mirror, but I pretended to take no notice of it. I kept looking at my phone, hoping a message would magically appear, but none did. Ana kept talking about random stuff that had happened today and I noticed the delightful skip over the music room conversation and her coming into English agitated. So what is going on? Ana couldn't of told Carlos to back off could she? I lean forward putting my head in my hands. The car pulls over slowly "are you alright Kaf? You look a bit pale." Felix asks and Ana turns in her seat. I flick my eyes upwards to be met with Ana's concerned eyes. "What's going on Kafi?" She asks softly. Now, should I chuck a stick of dynamite in the water and see what fish get chucked out? "Carlos," I manage to say without stuttering again. Ana's face pales slightly and she glances at Felix. "What do you mean Carlos?" He asks, curious of my intentions but I think he's caught on to what I'm doing. "What was said in the music room?" I sign. Ana gulps quietly "what do you mean?" She comments, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "You know what I mean," I sign in response before picking up my bag. Felix definitely knows what I'm doing now "it's clear," he comments. "What's clear?" Ana asks, turning to him in confusion. I had taken my seat belt off a while ago, so I Ana being distracted to open the door. "Kafi wait I..." Ana manages to shout before I shut the door and walked across the road, walking along the pavement towards home, about a minute walk from here. I can see Ana yelling at Felix but he just smirks and raises a hand to me, so I just give him a thumbs up. To be honest, that was going to be worth the yelling I'm going to get because I couldn't stand her lies. Felix knew that straight away. Even he knows me better than someone who lives with me. Felix manages to get the car into our empty drive just as I reach the start of our front garden. Ana was straight out the car, into the house, her cheeks red. When I got to the path, Felix was leaning against the bonnet of his car "you're getting an earful in a minute." I smile slightly as I join him by the car. "Tell me something I don't know." I sign in response, Felix chuckles "if I could Kafi, I would," he replies. I raise an eyebrow in question and he shakes his head "not now." I nod and push myself off the car. "Thank you," I manage to say slightly more smoothly than earlier, pointing to the car in reference. Felix grins "any time Kafi," he says before getting back in the car and reversing out the drive. He honks the horn before driving home and I grin before stepping inside. Pascal was there straight away, his tail whipping side to side. Instinctively, I crouch down and hug him "hey you," I say quietly and he freezes, looking at me in confusion. Then he pounces on me, pushing me to the floor as he licks my face. I grin, trying to push him off playfully and he fights back gently. Pascal stops, tipping his head upwards slightly, I do the same to see Ana stood there smiling. Well that's an improvement from the scowl. She sits down quietly beside me, playing with Pascal's ears, I know this move. Guilt was covering her insides, but she won't tell me what is going on, I know her too well. "You shouldn't of got out the car if you wasn't feeling right," Ana comments quietly. "I was fine." I sign, before getting Pascal off of me so I can sit up properly. He doesn't protest, but instantly sits by my side so I scratch the back of his head gently. "Kaf, I don't care, you turned white as a sheet. You can't get out of a car like that," Ana comments, I roll my eyes "I can and I did." I stood up and went upstairs to my room. I need to clear my head. Ana doesn't protest, but I hear her go into the lounge and switch the television on. I shut my door, before sliding to the floor as I leant against it. My phone was in my curled fingers, waiting for the message. I must of shut my eyes and fallen asleep briefly, as when my phone vibrated, my eyes flew open. Slowly, my eyes adapt to the bright screen in front of me. Hey sweet, just got home. Found something online that we need to talk about. Don't panic, you aren't in trouble. We just need to talk it out a bit. C xxx I read the text, already know what it was. The blog. How could he find it? What was he doing home this early? It has only been twenty minutes since I got home, so twenty five minutes since I left Carlos, or he left me. Are you feeling okay as you're back earlier than I expected... What do you mean we need to talk it out a bit?? K xx I reply, biting my lip as I wait for a response. What did he want to talk out? The kiss? The blog? Well, I think we both liked this kiss but felt it spoilt the friendship we have. As for the blog, I think he might of picked up on how I feel about him... Not that I made it subtle on there. Brilliant. I never thought he would find it. This should be interesting. The response appears a couple of minutes later, when I sat on my bed pulling my laptop out from its spot. I pulled up my blog, reviewing the statistics and the list of subscribers. I'm fine, my head went a bit, thanks for asking. Felix didn't notice, he was chuckling about never seeing Ana so frazzled... Anyway, someone showed me your blog. It took them ages to figure out who you are so that's fine. I was sat thinking to myself and then I realised, no one really gives you a chance to communicate how you feel... C xxx I'm stunned, genuinely stunned. Someone from school knew about my blog but they haven't spread it around. My eyes flick to my subscription list on my laptop. The names are all completely random. But one of the names has changed their picture recently to a cheerleader with their back to the camera. The profile name was Drifting Waves but the picture seemed too familiar. I have seen this before somewhere. Come on brain where are you today? Oh that's a stupid question, I know where that is. Focus Kafi, focus. I enlarge the picture to see the sun in front of the cheerleader, the setting rays catching the uniform. That's our school cheer squad uniform, I know that much. This must of been taken at an evening practice and after that had finished. The photo itself was well taken and set up. No editing or extra light was added to give mystery to the identity of the cheerleader. I took in her figure, she was slim, well they all were, but this one was really slim; child-like almost. So that only left me with one option on who it is. Oceane. Probably the only other person Carlos would consider if I wasn't around. This is exactly why. So Carlos could of taken it at the end of term last year, possibly after helping her with maths. Oceane knew and didn't say anything. Until today. What about today is so special or is everything just happening at once? I mean; first there was talking, then that funny smell, the playground, being watched, the dead body, the fight in the cafeteria, dad telling Carlos and Felix about my speech, the music room, the lockers, the kiss and now the blog. What else could be added to this pile? Actually, I probably shouldn't of said that, I've just jinxed it. There's going to be something else. A noise sounds on my laptop and I press enter. When I focus on the screen, Carlos's face almost filled it. I jump from shock and fall onto the floor, landing with a small squeak. Laughter erupts from my laptop speakers so I reach up and turn it down. Great one Kafi I think as I pull myself up onto the bed. That was so smooth. Now here comes the blows...
Chapter 16 ~ Carlos When Kafi hadn't replied to my last message, I decided to check if she was online. She was. Possibly trying to work out who told me. So I clicked on video chat by her picture, which was Pascal, her and I by a lake. That was a nice day if I'm honest, it made me fall in love with her even more... Carlos stop... You're only going to make this harder for yourself... I think to myself, waiting for Kafi to answer the video call. When she does, she is looking away from the camera, staring into space. She might of just pressed enter to shut her laptop up, again. It wouldn't be the first time. As I adjust how I'm sat, leaning forward towards the camera, that's when Kafi focuses on the screen. Her eyes widen slightly and she jumps, falling off the edge of her bed. I couldn't help laughing at her, but it was so cute how it happened, especially with the small squeak. Carlos you're doing it again... Kafi pulls herself up onto her bed again, her cheeks red. She was nervous, it was obvious in her body language, her eyes found it hard to focus on a certain place like usual. I tilted my head sideways, my glasses slipping down my nose slightly as I observed her fiddling with her hands. "Kafi I told you that you weren't in trouble, so why are you nervous?" I ask softly. No reply. Apart from I was starting to see a pattern in her hand movements. I don't think she realized that she was signing something as I watched. It was the same thing over and over, but she wasn't doing it consciously, she was too nervous. When it sinks in what she was signing, I just manage to breathe as I lean back "Kafi, stop doing this please, you're scaring me," I say quietly and her hands stop moving. She is definitely focused on me now, I can feel the power of her eyes through the screen. "Sorry." Kafi signs, okay, she knows she signed that but not what she was signing just now. I don't know how to say it yet, give me time. But I know I am in love with you... is what she was signing before. At least I know I wasn't the only one thinking there was more between us. What also backed up what she was signing earlier was the fact she managed to focus after me saying she was scaring me. "I'm not going to complain about it alright? Don't look so petrified of what I'm going to say," I explain quietly. Kafi nods, looking back at her lap "I'm not going to tell Zach," I reassure her, hoping it works. She perks up then "you won't tell dad?" She signs and I smile. "When have I ever lied to you?" I reply, regretting it immediately. From her point of view, I've lied a lot today, but she'll understand right? If it was to protect her like they did with The Jungle Book, surely she'll understand. A small frown slips on her face, "Carlos, I..." She starts but I pull one of her blog posts on my phone screen and interrupt her quietly. "You aren't angry with me, you've never been able to bring yourself to be able to do that. Not like with anyone else." She sits there quietly, looking stunned. I think I managed to do that earlier when she didn't reply. "How?" Kafi whispers, shifting herself so she was lead on her stomach and facing her laptop. She was still wearing my jacket, a few dog hairs scattered over it now from Pascal. Over her left shoulder, I spot my T-shirt on her pillow. I'm used to walking into her room and seeing her like this studying, typing something or discussing dance with Lian, but today it's different. Some how, being the person she was talking to and her lead there in my jacket and after we kissed, it just seemed right. Seemed natural. It just seemed like it always happened, like she was already mine to keep, but that is far from the case. I haven't even broached the subject of earlier before I walked away. She knew something about that; unless she figured out I was crying or how I felt about her. But to me, with the post on my phone screen, I knew in this moment, she was in love with me. "From being around you and how you write about me on the blog. But come on, Pierre... Since when do I look like a Pierre?" I tease, chuckling as I do and Kafi grins, crossing her ankles in the air behind her. She looks down at the bed, her hair falling around her face and I can't help but want to be there with her now. Wanting her to be in my arms like for drama or dance, but to know it means more than just the performance. "I can see Felix as a Thomas, but Pierre? That's just not fair. Raven is Corbin. Emilie is Ana. Corinne is Elesa?" I question and she nods "her middle name." Kafi signs back. "Elesa Corinne Patel, that's cute," I comment and Kafi raises an eyebrow, "but nothing is as cute as..." Kafi grins, not expecting my answer to be "Pascal Patel, I mean come on, that's adorably cute. How can any name beat that?" I tease and a frown slips on Kafi's face. Pascal sticks his head in front of the webcam "yes you did hear your name," I say and he turns his head towards me. He looked confused at the prospect of hearing my voice and seeing me but not being there so he can bombard me with hugs and kisses. Kafi pulls him towards her and he jumps up, showing me a lovely view of his behind before laying beside Kafi. She rests her head on his and he licks her nose, causing her to wipe it into the fur between his ears. I can't help smiling, watching the person I love in front of me. Now I know it's the right time to bring the kiss up, she has Pascal if she gets nervous and I hope she won't kill me for what I'm about to suggest, but I've written a script for it already. Suddenly Kafi grabs headphones, sticks them into the computer and brings something up on her screen. I frown and she signs "Ana," my eyes widen slightly, but I stay quiet, hoping Kafi has covered the video stream. "Kafi?" Ana's soft voice catches the laptop microphone, I can still see what is going on. "Yes," Kafi manages to reply, Pascal wagging his tail beside her. Ana sits beside Pascal, looking at something on the screen "that's a cute picture of Carlos, are you going to give him it when you give him back his top?" Ana jokes, causing Kafi to glare at her. Wait, Ana teases Kafi about me, so that must mean Kafi likes me, everything is kind of making sense... I watch the pair, curiousity filling me. "What's that?" Ana asks curiously, pointing to something on screen. "Oh the lake picture. You know that's a nice photo of you two..." Ana trails off, "who the hell is that?" She whispers, pale, Kafi was the same colour. What does she mean who the hell is that? I pull up the picture on my own screen, looking across the image. Then I spot it, or rather a person, stood of to the side in the shadows. But the worst thing of all, they have a camera pointed at Kafi, Pascal and I. "Stay inside, I'm coming over," I say grabbing my jacket, "I'll be five minutes." "No Carlos," Kafi replies. Ana looks at Kafi bewildered "Why did you say that?" Ana asks causing Kafi to bring up the video stream. I was grabbing my car keys off the side "both of you stay away from the windows, I'm coming over, I'll be five minutes," I instruct them. Ana's eyes widened "you let me say that about him?" She mouths to Kafi "I can lip read," I reply. Kafi points to the screen looking smug and Ana blushes. "I'll be five minutes," I remind them before shutting my laptop. I charge downstairs "tell mom I've gone to the Patel's," I yell to Felix to have "alright," yelled back. Corbin appeared beside me, almost giving me a heart attack "can I come?" She asks. She can't be there, Kafi will start worrying about how many people could be affected by this. "Sorry sweetie, I need to go now, it's kind of an emergency thing. Maybe next time," I reply, kissing her forehead. I stop by the front door "don't answer it, I know, now shoo to that emergency." Corbin comments, waving her hands. Not waiting to be told twice, I shut the door and jogged over to my car. As I drove to their house, I started looking for abnormalities; not that I could find any. I pull into the drive, knowing Hailey went on a trip with the bank and Zach was probably working late as usual. Getting out the car, I take another glance round, to see nothing new. Knocking on the door, I wait agitatedly after hearing Pascal bark. "Come on, come on, come on," I mutter before Ana opens the door. Kafi was stood at the top of the stairs, holding onto Pascal's collar, looking the most petrified I have ever seen her. She let's go of Pascal and he runs downstairs, sniffing me cautiously to make sure I was actually there. "Heya buddy," I say, bending slightly to ruffle the fur between his ears. Pascal responds by licking my hand and I wipe it in his neck fur. Glancing up, Kafi had moved to the bottom of the stairs, her hand curled in a fist clutching my jacket. If I said her stood there in my jacket, lit up by the fading sun wasn't adorable; I would be guilty of lying to a jury. She looked hot, but I wasn't looking at her directly because I can already feel Ana's eyes disintegrating my being to ashes. She wasn't comfortable with me being here after I threatened her earlier, but I had a promise to complete. A promise to protect Kafi as much as I can. Ana isn't going to stop me from sticking to a promise I made nearly ten years ago. "Have you two eaten?" I ask flicking my eyes between them. "We haven't moved from Kafi's room," Ana replies, trying not to snap at me. Kafi looks at her confused about the tension between us, I know she can tell, Ana isn't hiding it like she said she would. This could be a good evening. Wordlessly, I head to the kitchen, Pascal going back to Kafi's side. "You don't have to cook for us," Ana comments, following me into the kitchen, shutting the door behind her. Oh she wants to talk, might as well give the cow what she wants... I turn the radio on, turning the volume up a bit to drown the conversation out, hopefully. "You both look like you will pass out," I reply, turning the oven on.
I have repeated the 'author' or narrator of this chapter to be in line with chapter 16 so some loose ends are tied up in a nice little bow, but then it could create new ones... Enjoy! Chapter 17 ~ Carlos Ana moved away from the door to the freezer "I'm fine, I'm over the shock." "No you're not. You could barely eat your lunch suggesting you still felt sick from free period almost two hours before hand," I reply my voice steady as I take the food Ana passes me. "Why do you notice things like that?" Ana questions. "So I was right." "How did you become so observant?" "With Kafi you have to be." Ana narrows her eyes slightly, "How do you know that?" "From spending time with her and then knowing how she hides things. It's easier for her to do that you know." "Don't tell me stuff I already know about my sister." Ana raises her voice slightly. I ignore her as I put the food onto trays, "then why try to keep me away from her when you know she'll look for me anyway. Besides, your dad asked Felix and I to do something almost ten years ago now and I'm not going to break it. Especially if you think I'm not good enough for Kafi. As if I'm not, Felix definitely isn't. Do you even know what he said to the cheerleaders? I haven't even had an opportunity to punch his smug face yet, because the first thing I done when I got home is check that Kafi was okay. Now tell me again how I'm not good enough for her?" I growl, causing Ana's eyes to widen slightly. She was trying to get her head around something I had said "dad asked you two to do something ten years ago?" She whispers. "Yeah, you're not stopping me from doing it. If you will, I will tell your dad how you tried messing with Kafi's emotions just so she will speak. How do you think he'll react to that. Felix didn't even question why I was coming over here because he was still laughing at how frazzled you were." Ana steps away from me, internal conflict obvious. "But then again. You didn't know about that so I've almost emptied my hand like you have," I comment when she doesn't reply. I'm trying to ignore the fact that Kafi is stood somewhere in this house scared out of her mind as I set the timer. Pascal starts scratching the bottom of the door, Kafi isn't okay. I leave the kitchen to see Pascal looking worried "where is she buddy?" I ask, my voice soft compared to the harshness I used with Ana. Pascal leads me up to Kafi's room where I peek round the door. She was sat on her bed, a book open in her lap with a timeline of dates, locations and people. Her eyes were glued on the laptop screen before she scribbled something in her notes. I step in and catch a squeaky floorboard, great stealth there Carlos Kafi looks at me then back at my feet where Pascal is. "Oh," she whispers, obviously answering her own question. I walk over to her to see a collection of pictures across the screen, all with the figure in. The list showed the days, times, location and then who was with us at that point. My eyes traveled the list, to see that it always happened when Lian, Max, Noa and William weren't there. That can't be a coincidence can it? I sit behind Kafi, massaging one of her shoulders gently with a hand. She melts in my touch and I ignore the temptation to kiss her neck, which is hard. I rest my head on her other shoulder, looking between the notebook and the screen "we bumped into William not long after that picture didn't we? But I suppose that's Felix's fault for posting where we were," I comment. Kafi nodded slowly as it hit us. We looked at each other, both thinking the same thought that could be William... It makes sense now I've had time to think about it. He would of had plenty of time to put the camera in his backpack he had that day. But why would he take pictures of me and Kafi? I reach round Kafi and bring up a folder from one of the shoots she done of me. On a couple of the wide shots, the figure was there. Maybe it wasn't Kafi they were after, maybe it was me. If it is William, then why is he obsessing about me? Kafi watched what I was doing on the screen before glancing at my profile. She's trying to figure out what is going on as me and Kafi never told anyone about those shoots. I take my arm away from the laptop and place my hand on her waist so she can use her own laptop. Kafi surprises me by shutting the lid and pressing a button on her stereo remote, the start track playing before Everytime We Touch starts. She places a hand on mine at her waist, before standing up, my hand slipping down the curve of her hip. I stop breathing momentarily again as I watch her switch on her floor lava lamp and then shuts her curtains. Why is she doing this? Instinctively I switch on her bedside lamps as she shuts her door silently. This is serious, she rarely shuts her door. I raise my eyebrow as she leans back against her closed door. "You want to practice?" I ask softly and she nods, watching me still where she left me. She'll have to lose the jacket and the shoes, I would have to do the same so it doesn't matter that much. I peel off my shoes and jacket, putting them under her bed, Kafi hands me her shoes and she's put my jacket with hers hanging up. Again, this seems too natural. I stand up as Kafi restarts the CD, the twenty second track starting again. When I have to, I start with the dance, bringing in Kafi to my embrace. After earlier, this song seems more true, like she's trying to communicate with me again. I fall victim to the lyrics and get lost in the music, dancing with the girl of my dreams. The one who I shared my first kiss with earlier inside school, pretty much pinning her against the wall. The one who could break me if she left my life. The one who started the mission to get me smiling more. The one who knew me as well as herself but kept it quiet, like her secrets. Her childhood. When I pull her to my chest after the lift at the end, my heart is stammering. I rest my head on hers, getting my breath back. The start track has run through and the song starts again, but we still stood there, unmoving. She's definitely trying to tell me something. The lyrics of the song have become very true too quickly. I kiss the top of her head, picturing her soft smile, keeping my arms wrapped around her waist. Kafi had moved her hands to resting loosely around my neck and looks up at me. This is too overwhelming. She wants me as much as I want her, but I still can't bring myself to kissing her again. Her amber eyes watch me intently and remain inert. Ana can't deny the sparks here so maybe that's why she done it. Threaten to keep Kafi away from me with me with my twin, so I threatened her back, brilliant move there Carlos... I shut my eyes and Kafi's weight shifts slightly in my arms. She kisses my cheek in silent encouragement, to get me to tell her what I'm thinking, so I open my eyes. "You were signing something earlier that mirrored how I feel about you," I whisper and her cheeks turn red. "It's okay, we'll get through it. It's just none of us around you have been completely honest today," I whisper again. Kafi looks away, or more specifically at her lava lamp to my left. I move closer to her, bringing a hand up to gently turn her head back to face me "I'll tell you. But you have to pretend you don't know." Her shut eyes open, catching me off guard again. "I can't lie to you anymore, there's been too many," I whisper guiltily, rubbing her nose gently with mine in an Eskimo kiss. Amber eyes watched my grey ones inertly, encouraging me to keep talking or kiss her again. I bent slightly and scoop her up, her arms tightening around my neck before I lay her on her bed and join her. *** lunch time in the music room *** When Kafi had gone out of the music room to get changed, Ana spoke up. "I need you to do me a favour Carlos," she said. Felix was being awfully quiet which instantly made me suspicious. "What's that?" I replied cautiously, putting away the microphones. "Stay away from Kafi when she is trying to speak." "Why?" I reply, the muscles in my back tight. "You'll only distract her." "I doubt that." "Trust me you will." My hand clenched into a fist as I turned "Oh really?" I questioned quietly. Felix grabbed my arm "you know you don't need to do that," he told me, bringing Ana's attention to my fist. "There's something that I noticed recently. Just try and keep your distance," Ana said nervously, glancing at my white knuckles. "And if I don't or she looks for me?" I retorted before waiting for her reaction. Felix grips my arm slightly tighter which makes me look at him, I had a feeling it had something to do with the hug he gave Kafi in free period. "Then Felix gets her to fall in love with him." Ana's response hit me like a pile of bricks. I was so glad Felix was gripping my arm or she would be on the floor with a broken nose. Then again, he is just as guilty, however has a near on impossible task to complete. "Yeah, you try to do that," I replied, sarcasm lacing my voice. Felix lets go of my arm cautiously, making it look like we were stood there talking. Kafi was stood watching through the door, which Ana couldn't see as she was stood with her back to the door. "You stay away from her," Ana says. Now with my next comment I thought up, I'm glad Kafi can't lip read. "You make Kafi hate me and Felix, I'll explain how it was her older sister's idea for that to happen just so she can speak. How do you think she will feel then eh? Could you live with that guilt?"Kafi pushed open the door and I couldn't stay put. I walked out the room, feeling her eyes analysing my posture before the music room door shuts behind me. *** present time *** Kafi is lead beside me looking torn and close to tears. I move slightly and she pulls me right to her and crying into my chest. She had realised why Felix was being so strange, why Ana had been slightly agitated, almost everything that had happened. Kafi was one of those rare pretty criers, the silence making it haunting. I wipe the tears away with my thumb gently, tilting her head to look at me. "You don't know, okay," I whisper before kissing her lips softly and fleetingly, but it was enough...
Chapter 18 ~ Kafi As I listened to Carlos talking about the music room, I could feel the tears coming. Why did she say that? Why did she have to interfere? When he stopped talking, I pulled him so he was pressed against me and cried into his chest. Carlos moved back slightly, his hand supporting my jaw as he wiped the tears off my cheeks. His eyes were full of concern, "you don't know, okay," he reminds me, tilting my head up slightly. He kisses my lips fleetingly as a reminder to stay strong. How can he control me like this? I can open up to him about what happened before I got rescued couldn't I? Maybe it will help me move on as I've never told anyone what he did. I shiver involuntarily, causing Carlos to wrap himself around me a bit more. When I look at him, his eyes were shut and he was breathing steadily. A small smile spreads across my lips when I realized he has fallen asleep. Today must have been tiring for him. I brush a bit of his hair out of his face and kiss his forehead before taking his glasses off carefully. After folding them shut, I roll onto my back, placing them on my bedside table. Carlos moved with me, bringing one of his legs to on top of mine, an arm slung casually over my stomach. Why does this feel too natural? I turn off my stereo and watch him sleep, his head beside mine. My nose brushes his lightly and a smile plays on his lips. His arm on his stomach wraps round and pulls me closer to him. I grin, knowing I could have a bit of fun with this, but I don't. Carlos moved again so he was half on top of me, but his weight wasn't crushing me. His breath tickled my ear gently before he softly whispers "I've always loved you Kafi." I freeze, turning my head to see he's still asleep. So he's dreaming, and about me by the looks of it. I'm shocked. Really shocked. Nearly ten years and I haven't noticed at all. I look up at the ceiling, giving him a small shoulder massage with a hand. "That's really nice," Carlos purrs in my ear, pressing against me more and I squeak from shock again. He chuckles, but it was husky from sleep. "What happened?" He asked, the huskiness evident in his voice still. "Sl..ee..p," I stutter and he groans quietly "I fell asleep?" "Yes," "Well that makes the song more true doesn't it?" He jokes, still not moving. I roll my eyes, still massaging his shoulder, "don't you roll your eyes at me Kafi Patel," he comments quietly. The timer goes off in the kitchen and Carlos groans, "why do that when I'm comfortable." I smirk, moving my hand down before tickling his side. He grabs my hand and moves off of me, my body suddenly being hit with the cold. "You know to not do that," Carlos warns standing up. I watch him; trying to work out what he was going to do next. Quickly he grabs my waist gently, lifting me up so I was over his shoulder. "Hey!" I protest. He chuckles as he opens the door and almost trips over Pascal lead out in front of it. Pascal growls quietly, the timer still beeping. "Alright, come on buddy, dinner time," Carlos says and Pascal runs down the stairs in a black streak. He chuckles again before following him down. Carlos calls through to Ana, "when does Pascal get fed?" "Now, why..." Ana trails off when she comes out the lounge and sees me over Carlos's shoulder still as he turns off the timer. "Alright, I'll dish up dinner and you can give the little mister his dinner," Carlos replies. Ana looks at me smirking as if to say are you enjoying that and I glare at her in response, she chuckles "alright, have fun." She directed that comment at me mostly. "I already am," Carlos responds, getting the oven gloves out the drawer. Ana chuckles again, walking out shaking her head slightly. When the door shuts, Carlos sits me on the kitchen counter. He was grinning like he probably was the whole time "you done that on purpose," I sign, pouting slightly to make my point. "So," Carlos replies, opening the drawer to get something out. "So? You, um," I start and he chucks an oven mitt at me. I roll my eyes before signing "know what Ana thinks." "She's two faced." "But still!" Carlos took my hands in his, "what did I say earlier?" He whispers in my ear. I gulp, trying to ignore how close he was and how close I am to kissing him. "I said trust me didn't I? So that's what you need to do," he whispers again, probably unaware of the temptation that is called Carlos in front of me. His muscles were more relaxed and mysterious, but he did have a pair of arms and definitely has abs to die for. If he is still talking, I'm not really noticing due to his perfection. Maybe that dancing is paying off, he might be asked to join the dance practice on Mondays. That will definitely be good... I must of drifted out of focus as he was plating up dinner, the muscles in his back relaxing and contracting in unison. "If you could speak right now Kaf, you'll be dangerous for the government to handle," he teases. "Hey!" I protest quietly. Carlos chuckles, "Finally out of your thoughts then." "Yes." I look to my left to see a glass of banana milk and I pick it up, taking a sip. "I need to talk to you about something when we go back upstairs," Carlos says quietly, looking back at me over his shoulder. I put the drink in my hand down, causing Carlos to laugh quietly, closing the distance between us again. He wipes my top lip with a thumb, making me screw my nose up slightly when he catches it. His eyes take my figure in again, almost looking at me if I was for dinner instead of the plate on the side. Internally he's debating his next move, his hand still frozen on my jaw. Suddenly I'm conscious of the elephant in the room. Carlos seems to shake his head slightly, snapping himself out of his thought train, he goes back to a different drawer to get cutlery. "Food is ready," Carlos calls through to Ana, her coming through the door a few moments later. "Thanks C, I owe you," Ana comments, picking up cutlery and a plate. "Yeah, you definitely do," he replies quietly and I kick the side of his leg to shut him up. Carlos shoots me a smirk and I narrow my eyes slightly. I jump off the side, grabbing the empty cup and putting it in the dishwasher before getting my plate and cutlery. Carlos stood quietly the whole time, just watching. He was doing that more often I've noticed. Once again, he shakes his head again before walking to my room, his plate and cutlery in hand. Carlos switches my main light on, turning off my beside lamps after putting his plate on the floor. He sits cross-legged on the floor tucking into his food. I sit on my bed, stealing a glance at him when he wasn't looking. What was he thinking? He seemed like he wanted to talk earlier, but he got interrupted by Ana walking in and then analyzing us before hightailing it over here. It had to be something about us didn't it? Especially if he admitted about what happened at lunch, he wouldn't tell me if he was going to do what they said; would he? I shake myself out of thought and start eating the food on the plate. Glancing up, I spot the almost empty plate in front of Carlos as he watches me. Everything between us seems to work without us going out of our way to make the other one comfortable, like me with Felix. Jeez that boy could be awkward. With Carlos; everything seemed to fit perfectly with a cherry on top for extra sweetness. Most of the food we have in the freezer is fresh food that we need to stock up on. If we want pizza, we make it ourselves, it's more fun that way. This meal tonight, wow, Carlos can definitely cook, he gets that from his mum. Goodness knows where my mum is. They found no trace of her when they rescued me at the age five. She was in the house until I was four, almost five. Then she disappeared. No, my father couldn't of, could he? I put my plate beside me no longer hungry. "Kafi, sweetie, what's wrong?" Carlos asks, sitting beside me. I shake my head before burying my face into his chest and crying. "I can't help if you don't say," he whispers softly before tugging me into his lap. "I think my father killed my mum," I sign with shaking hands. Carlos looks at me confused, "Zach couldn't of killed H... Oh you mean your genetic father," he starts before whispering in realisation. "How can you prove that?" Carlos asks. I bite my lip looking away from him, I didn't want to add more sorrow into his eyes, he needs to smile. But I have to say what happened. Although Robertson got killed for what he knew and I couldn't live without Carlos. Definitely cannot live without him. So what do I do? We're in my room, no one knows what happens in here. I move off his lap and move a box underneath my bed to reach my Chinese puzzle box with my diary in. Well I say diary, nightmare records is more accurate. Placing the box on the bed, I get a funny look from Carlos however he doesn't say anything. I sit on the bed between him and the box. Quickly, I move all the pieces that I need to get the key to unlock the box. I turn to face Carlos, the open box in my lap. He looks down at the three A4 notebooks in it, still silent. I pick out the bottom book, the one that actually has my nightmares in. They haven't happened for almost a year, so I leaf through the book to the last one. That had to be the worse one. Carlos skim reads the page, his face changing slightly before one of his hands held mine. He eyes up the number of pages "you've had that many nightmares?" Carlos whispers. I shake my head, some of them were long and detailed, but the last one was short but almost twice as horrifying. "I did say I have lots of secrets," I sign back in response. Carlos nods in understanding "I take it these nightmares were inspired by real events." To his disappointment I nod in response. Quietly he takes the book from my lap, looking through the pages "oh my..." Carlos just manages to vocalise as he looks at one of the long nightmares. I look back at my lap, mum knew I had them, they didn't know what happened in them...
chapter 19 ~ Carlos I couldn't process what I was reading at first. Kafi was trusting me with this. Her inner fears. Why me? This stuff is terrible and for it to be based off events that actually happened make it even worse. The beatings, the yelling, how did no one see this horror in front of me. I have a feeling the longest one in here actually happened, you couldn't come up with that much detail and stay asleep. She was still asleep from fear that night, thinking it was going to be there when she woke up. No wonder she's so calm, patient and understanding, she didn't want to be like that. Then I have to read one of the paragraphs ten times at least, as it's the one that explains why Kafi went from speech to no speech at all. It's dated as the night before her last nightmare. The date is the scariest of all, it was her birthday. I flick back to the year before on the same day, there was the same dream in less detail. Same with the other years between then and when she got here, the detail decreasing the older the nightmare. "Carlos?" Kafi whispers, wondering why I was flicking through the book so quickly. If she had this after she had written them down, she would of noticed this pattern. But she hasn't. At least I don't think she has. "Yeah," I reply, my voice shaky. Tears are coming again, I know that already. Kafi takes the book out of my lap and I realize it's too late to stop the tears as they were already falling. I pull her into my lap again, hiding my head in her neck as she wraps her arms round my waist. She traces patterns on my back before massaging my shoulder again. That's why she cowered earlier at the lockers, how could of no one noticed this before with her behavior? It didn't come up last night when Felix and I were talking about her... ***the night before*** I was sat on my bed, messaging Kafi on my laptop when Felix walked through my open bedroom door on his phone. He sat down on one of my chairs, watching me as I typed to Kafi. "What's that smile for?" He asks. I look at him confused "What smile?" Felix was typing a message before looking back up at me as I read Kafi's message. "That smile." "I have no idea what you are talking about." "That's because you do that smile unconsciously; like on Wednesday when you handed Kafi your shirt and watching her dance to Catch My Breath." I look at Felix, who was once again typing a message, his fingers moving quickly across his touch screen keyboard. "I still don't know what you are talking about," I comment. Felix changes his screen before showing me a picture of myself, one of me and Kafi walking along the empty school corridor talking. When was that taken? I wasn't even looking at the camera otherwise my cheeks would of been more red, I'm more conscious of my actions around a camera. In this picture I'm not even aware of the camera, I'm too submerged in my conversation with Kafi and then I spotted the smile he was on about. That always appears when I don't realize. "When was that taken?" I asked quietly causing Felix to chuckle. "You don't remember?" "Nope." "The school was asking for shots of model students, as in not fashion model ones but good students, last term. I took this one and submitted it to school." I started to panic slightly, Kafi's picture wasn't meant to be used as publicity if you could tell it was her. When I stuck my hand out, Felix passed me the phone to look at the picture. We were heading towards the camera, me being closer to it, the five inches in height difference being exaggerated by our postioning. Her red hair was down tucked behind her ears to keep it out of her face, making her look elven. She was looking down at the books that she was hugging to her chest. Her outfit consisted of a blue and white long sleeved checkered top was worn open over a blue vest of the same colour and matched with a pair of black denim shorts and blue converse. I remember that day now. That was my checkered top that I lent her because someone tore her nice blue crop top sort of thing while we done pe. I was in my white short sleeve T-shirt which was slightly too small and clung to my muscles with a pair of beige shorts that hung at my knees and black converse. Luckily, you couldn't really tell it was Kafi, unless you knew her. "Did they use it?" I asked, handing his phone back. He stood up and turned my laptop, opening the school website and there it was. The icon pops up saying about the new message I just got from Kafi. "She's talking to you as well?" Felix comments and I look at him "I take it she is talking to you too..." I say quietly. ***Present*** Kafi was now playing with my hair and my tears had stopped, her neck was slightly damp so I didn't cry that much. I must have emptied my reserve earlier. I dry her neck with my sleeve, it not taking long. She turns my head so I look in her eyes and then I see the hurt etched into them, but there was something else I've never really noticed before. The notebook was back in the box beside me and I look at it. This wasn't a standard manufacture puzzle box, this was custom made. "How long have you had this?" I ask, indicating to the box. She looks at briefly trying to work it out "eight years," she whispers. Not long after she came here then. The notebook is older, she might of brought it with her from the UK, it has the childish drawings you expect from that age of 7. "It's a nice box," I reply as it was. A good solid wood that doesn't deteriorate; it still looks brand new. "Yeah," Kafi whispers again. There's the elephant in the room again like in the kitchen when I couldn't decide if I should talk to her about earlier then. "Look, Kafi, about earlier..." She cut me off by putting a finger on my lips and then signing "it's fine, I understand." "I shouldn't of done it," I whisper. "Carlos..." She whispers back, scared of where I was going with my speech. There was something I had prepared, but the look on Kafi's face right now said she needed me close rather than distant. I hadn't planned on distancing myself too far, only taking the step back from almost more than friends. Honestly, how can we hide us when Ana is trying to pull her away from me with Felix. I don't want to hurt Kafi but that can happen if we take the step to more than friends or not. But Ana doesn't know about the pictures and the kiss; she's still teasing Kafi about me. Does that mean she is okay with it deep within her heart? Or is she just jealous? "Which way do you want to step?" I ask quietly and she tilts her head in question. I place my hands on the side of her waist, moving her so she was straddling me. Definitely not a good move remember how angry you are with Felix Carlos... well that's momentarily fixed that problem... I watch her eyes. "Did you want us to be an item or stay friends?" I say quietly and she suddenly looks elated but torn at the same time. "How are we going to manage the current situation with A and F?" Kafi signs back. I rest my forehead on hers, my gaze stuck to her eyes "trust each other like we always have done. If Felix finds out, we have the photos of him and Ana. If they both find out, then we just have to improvise." Kafi nods before kissing my lips softly. My hands tighten on her waist slightly and she presses into me a bit more. She pulls away too early but I don't protest angry with Felix, angry with Felix I repeat in my mind. "So, here's the tie breaker question," I whisper, taking one of her hands in mine softly, "will you, Kafi Patel, be my girl?" She brushes her nose against mine lightly in an Eskimo kiss before whispering "yes I will, Carlos Miller," stuttering a bit on my last name. That didn't really matter to me, she's always been perfect, with no speech to her stutter. Kafi smiles as I raise her hand and kiss the back of it softly. "Kafi! Carlos! Have you finished with the plates?" Ana yells up the stairs. My eyes flick to Kafi's half full plate beside me "will you eat anymore?" I ask quietly and she shakes her head. I sit her on the bed before picking her plate up, transferring just under half of the untouched food onto my empty plate. Kafi watches me curiously before smiling and shutting her box. I kiss her forehead before heading out the room and downstairs with the two plates. Ana was leant against the door frame to the kitchen, watching me as I came down the stairs. Pascal brushed past me, wagging his tail, going up into Kafi's room. I walk past Ana into the kitchen, emptying the plates into the bin then putting them in the dishwasher. Ana's eyes followed me round the room "what?" I snap eventually as I get a tub of ice cream out the freezer. "I'm just curious, why were you home so early? We were only home for about half an hour before you were video calling Kafi," she comments as I get two bowls out of the cupboard. "I wasn't feeling well, I've felt a bit weird all day," I reply, scooping up ice cream from the tub and putting the tub away when I finished. "Alright, I was just curious, no need to bite my head off," she comments before disappearing into the lounge. I pick up two spoons and head back upstairs with the bowls. When I stand out side Kafi's room, it is silent. Stepping inside I spot Pascal and Kafi crouched on the floor. Pascal's tail was wagging slightly before he pounces at Kafi and the pair start play fighting again. I chuckle quietly before putting the two bowls down. They both stop and look up at me, Pascal pinning Kafi to the floor gently, his tongue hanging out of his mouth with a doggish grin on his face. Kafi's pink cheeks deepen to red, obviously she didn't realise I walked in because I actually missed the floorboard for once. Her eyes flick to the bowls and a smile spreads across her face. Pascal takes the distraction as an opportunity to lick Kafi's face. "Alright mister, off you go," I comment, picking him up off of Kafi, placing him on the floor. She sits up wiping her face with a hand "thanks," she whispers slowly.
Chapter 20 ~ Kafi I was crouched opposite Pascal; we had just finished one round of play fighting which I had won. Carlos was taking his time so I was happy playing with Pascal as I knew Ana wouldn't of. Pascal wagged his tail as he watched for my movement. I reached forward at the same time as Pascal and the fight started again. When he was pinning me to the floor I heard Carlos chuckle; I stop immediately, my head snapping up to look at him. Carlos missed the floorboard; his steps silent across my floor. His height looks even more intimidating from down here. When his eyes meet mine my cheeks burn furiously from being caught staring. My eyes settle on the bowls he just set down and an involuntary smile creeps on my face. They're both watching me intently before Pascal licks my face causing me to cringe. Quickly Carlos closes the distance between us "alright mister, off you go," he says, taking Pascal off of me. As I sit up, I wipe my face with my hand "thanks," I say quietly and slowly. He smiles, crouching to beside me. My mind zooms back to that day and I cower away from him, bringing my knees to my chest. A state of confusion momentarily slips over his face at my actions as I hide my shaking hands. He doesn't move closer or away from me, waiting for me to make a move. Kafi, breathe, it's Carlos... You aren't there just stay calm... I mentally rehearse. Blinking back tears I look back at him to see him smiling sadly, his arms open for a hug. I launch myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck, knocking him back from surprise. As he falls, he wraps his arms protectively around my waist landing with a small thud. The tears have already started falling as he hides his eyes in my hair. His thumb brushes my back softly as I release all the tears that I can. No words, just the silent support that I so desperately need. About five minutes later, the tears stop, he moves my head out of his neck looking at me concerned. "Are you alright now?" Carlos whispers. I nod, my hands playing with the slightly long hair on his head. "Ice cream?" He asks and I nod again causing him to sit up. Carlos scoops me up in his arms and places me on the bed, grabbing the two bowls after. With the remote he turns on the tv and switches on the DVD part of it. I grin sheepishly as one of my guilty favourites, How To Train Your Dragon 2, comes on. Carlos chuckles "not this again," he teases rolling his eyes. I just tuck into my ice cream silently, watching the movie. After he finished his bowl, he wrapped an arm around me as I mixed my ice cream making it into the cream which tastes so much better. Carlos starts playing with my hair as he watches the movie, just as trapped in it as I am. A small smile played on his lips as I put my bowl down and scooted closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. It just seemed easy, natural and normal as he snaked an arm around my waist, trapping me to his side. When the movie finished he turned over to the box, the music channel coming on. He rolled his eyes before tapping my nose with a finger "so predictable." I smirk in response as Pascal jumps off my bed. He trots out my room before going down the stairs. Carlos glances at the time on my alarm clock 20:45 greeted our eyes. I could tell he didn't want to leave yet, but we had school tomorrow and he didn't have any clothes with him. A car pulled up outside the house and I jump off the bed to peek out the window to see dad's car parked out the front of the house. Obviously he spotted Carlos's car in the drive and didn't block it in. I knew what his first question would be when he entered the house. "Evening girls. Why is Carlos's car in the drive?" Dad calls and Carlos goes out onto the landing, me right behind him. Carlos leans on the rail and looks down at dad stood in the hallway "it's easier to show you and explain sir," he says causing dad to look up, worry lines in his forehead. Almost immediately he's climbing the stairs two at a time "start talking." Carlos turned round and walked into my room, dad following not far behind him. "I was chatting to Kafi via video when Ana came in the room and looked at the laptop screen. There was the picture of Kafi, Pascal and me by the lake, then she said what's that. I pulled the picture up on my screen to see a figure stood in the background with a camera in their hands. I told them to stay in and came over right away. I ended up cooking dinner for them while Kafi looked through other pictures," Carlos pulled up the pictures on my laptop and dad looked through them. Carlos slips my notes into dad's lap causing him to look down "I think it could be William sir, but he isn't after Kafi. It's me..." Dad looks up, his forehead still creased in worry. "Alright, just stick to what I told you," dad replies. I look between them confused as Carlos nods "always will sir. Always have." "Go home and rest, you're doing the school run tomorrow aren't you." "Yeah I am," Carlos comments before giving me a hug. I rest my head on his chest confused as he kisses the top of my head "see you tomorrow okay?" He mutters. "Yeah," I whisper in response before he lets me go. I glance at dad to see him smiling at us, could he know how Carlos felt? Carlos takes his arms from my waist "eight o'clock," he reminds me before going out my room and the house. Dad stood and gave me a hug "get yourself sorted for bed," he says. "Chin," I whisper. He looks at me confused so I touch the cut on his chin. "I'm not talking about that now. Sort yourself out for bed." Before I could say anything else, he had gone out my room pulling the door shut behind him. As I was slipping on Carlos's t-shirt I got a message from him. I'm home in one piece. Hope you feel better now. C x I replied and we were texting until ten when I said good night. That's when I fell into a slightly restless sleep. The next day passed without an incident, but Felix was still acting differently. I ignored it most of the time, in my own happy little bubble. Carlos had kept looking at me, sending me secretive smiles or looked like he was still getting used to the fact he had me. We soared through trials for drama and music without an issue. Wednesday is pretty much the same so far but Carlos is more nervous than the rest of us put together. At lunch I pulled him into an empty classroom without the others noticing. Carlos raised an eyebrow "You'll be fine tonight," I sign and he smiles pulling me close. He rests his head on mine "I know, but I'm still nervous..." I wrap my arms around his waist in reassurance, somehow our bodies moving closer. Carlos turns slightly and he's pinning me against the wall again. When I meet his eyes, I see the love filling them. How could I miss this gaze for so long? I reach up and kiss his lips softly, Carlos responded immediately kissing me almost possessively. After about a minute he pulls away slightly to get his breath back. His slightly parted lips looked almost like an invitation so I kissed him again. He responds softly this time, but this kiss was heating up which I could definitely feel through his jeans. I pulled away and glance down slightly. Carlos realises causing his cheeks to go red "sorry," he whispers embarrassed. I smile ruffling his hair slightly "It's fine," I whisper in response. Carlos nods before pinning me to the wall completely again "don't look at the window," he instructs, blocking the window from my view as he kissed my neck. I buried my head in his shoulder, enjoying the intimacy. He glanced at the window before turning back to me. Felix, probably. "He's gone," Carlos whispers. "Who?" I reply. "Felix." So I was right. When it came to the time for our trial, Carlos was nervous stood in his blue shirt and his sport leggings. We all had nothing on our feet for this performance as Ana, Carlos, Lian, Noa and I padded to the stage where Felix, Max and William were already. I stood opposite Carlos, giving him a smirk as the others picked up the headsets with microphones. The intro started on the piano before we all started our performance with Everytime We Touch. Everyone watched silently, the dance teacher leant forward in her seat. I ended up getting lost in the music and dance, moving easily with Carlos. With every step we moved closer to the final lift, Carlos relaxing more after we completed it. Applause burst from the audience before I moved away from Carlos, sat on a chair as he got a headset. "What the hell is this?" I have to mouth and gesture as Ana yells. Carlos naturally pales as he stammers "I don't know what you're talking about." Angrily I launch the phone in my hand at him which he catches, just. "This isn't what it looks like," he replies, his voice tight. "So start talking!" Ana yells as I stand up. Carlos cringed and I can't tell if he's acting or genuinely scared "I didn't reply to her message." "Yeah, so that's why you called her afterwards." "I was telling her..." "Don't want to hear it!" Ana interrupts as I turn away from him scowling. Felix grinned as he watched and I tried to stay angry, resisting the temptation to stick my tongue out at him. Carlos touched my shoulder lightly and I threw his arm off as I whipped around. Suddenly his face hardened "I don't know why I even bothered with you," he growls. Instinctively I step back, biting the inside of my cheek to stop the tears as I flashback. "Then why are you here?" Ana counters as I throw my hands in the air. Carlos shakes his head "it was a mistake. So we're through." I turn away from him throwing the chair as I walk off the stage as part of the act. The video gets set up on the screen as I grab my phone from the floor and enter the stage again as the music starts. Carlos was sat on a table on stage and started the singing. Ana picked up quite quickly as Carlos and I pretended to text like on the screen. I sat on a chair with my back to Carlos, trying my best to ignore him...