Lemme tell you a story, everyone. This is a story I made myself, which I have yet to publish. The walls grew weary with black as my vision began to grow dark. My eyes fixed on what lies ahead, a girl, roped and bloody. Her face was in mid-scream terror, her jaw lay open with blood. The blood upon her jaw is blackened, along with the blood from her eyes. My last glimpse leaves me petrified as I black out. When I come to, she is gone, along with the walls. Nothing was there but the everlasting darkness. The ground lay with blood about shoe level. I must be underground because the blood is slowly rising. Running, I chase the ever-lasting darkness on, knowing the blood would fill my body very soon. Chasing after the everlasting darkness until I trip, and crash into something hard. The thud sounds a bit thick, like hitting wood. I didn't pass out, so I ran up the object, hearing my feet thud as I run. The blood seems to chase just as fast as I can run, almost reaching my neck now. My hands in front of me as I run, I feel for a door. I cannot see anything or hear anything but ringing. My hands thud into something and it echoes a bit. The blood is now touching my chin, I reach for the knob and twist the handle then run. Screaming can be heard from all directions as I run. After a while the screaming becomes a bunch of gurgling noises in the distance. I keep running, but the water drowns me. That's all for now folks, if you like it, lemme know and I will write more. Yours sincerely; Hyourinmaru
The sentences are separate, I used a period. Is there a problem with your eyesight, I'm using proper punctuation and grammar.
If you do that is will change a story, and you don't read stories like that because if you do then it really makes you grammatically incorrect. So therefore, learn to write stories properly, and also read it, don't judge the space.
It's nice. Always good to see writers. But you should have posted this in fan fiction, they would be more of a help and would be first to recommend more ideas to add to your story.. Here in A.T all you will get is so called trolls.
As I said before, you need to paragraph your sentences. This will help the reader understand, and no, it will not change the meaning of your story at all ? But yeah, as some one else said, this should really be on ff ?