[Contest]The most HilariousJokes

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by MadameButterfly-Anna, Dec 16, 2014.

  1. The winner will get a prize from me (Ec Gift or 5B dvp).

    Just share your jokes around here and hopefully you will make us all laugh to tears

    Good Luck
     
  2. I love how hipster girls be shaving the sides of their heads, looking like they just had a sexy a** brain surgery. Get well, girl!
     
  3. A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
     
  4. It says 'myp***s'. Sorry mods.
     
  5. A drunken student is showing girl
    he picked up around his flat, after
    going through the house the girl
    notices there's a giant gong and a
    mallet in one of the rooms. She asks
    "whats the deal with the gong?"
    He replies with "thats not a gong,
    its a talking clock", she is amazed
    and asks how it works, the man
    procedes to whack the the gong with
    the mallet, the two of them stood
    looking at one another for a
    moment.
    Suddenly, someone on the other
    side of the wall screamed,
    'HEY MAN, it's three fifteen in the
    bloody morning"
     
  6. A wife is like a hand grenade.
    Take away the ring and your entire house is gone.
     
  7. A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
     
  8. ^ Seems like you have a knack for penis jokes
     

  9. Too many censores...
     
  10. I fixed the first one. What's wrong with my jokes? They're harmless.
     
  11. Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present. He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?" In a condescending manner, she says, "Which Barbie?" She continues, "We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00." Ralph asks, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?" "That's obvious," the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."
     
  12. Not one has made me laugh. ?
     
  13. Anyone feel free to vote for the best jokes....
     
  14. What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
    It gets toad away.
     
  15. I'll keep them simple & really clean, from now on. My apologies to anyone who is offended.
     
  16. Appreciate that carley
     
  17. No problem. What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? "Put it on my bill." Bah dah buh dum.
     
  18. What do you call a fake noodle? An IMpasta.
     
  19. I've never seen a fruit PUNCH & a cereal BOX.