Hello! Welcome to the 2014/15 joke thread! Yes I know what you are thinking... "Dude 2014 is almost over!" Well I simply do not give a monkey about that.? So spread your stupidity and banter all in this one thread! Here is one of my all time favourites. "A women is like a hand grenade. Take away the ring and your house is gone." Enjoy. - Wait... What was my name again?
I like Women are like hurricanes they start wet and wild then they end up leaving with your house and car lol
A man wakes up in the hospital after an accident and shouts Doctor Doctor!! And the doctor comes rushing in and says whats wrong?The man says i cant feel my legs...and the doctors says ohhh its because i chopped off your arms
Warning: it's long A lesson in statistics I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off. "Man, that guy is stupid" I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic and here's why: I drive 48 miles each way every day to work, that's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway so if you just look at the 7 lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day. Statistically, half of these are driven by females, that's 18,000. In any given group of females 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed. Flip one off? .............I think not.
You weren't in Michigan at that time were you?? Because my bf and I had an exact near accident like that because someone cut us off and we had to do just that and my bf flipped her off too??