Heya guys! Hope you like this story I made! -:-:-:-:-:-:-:- I open my eyes whike hearing a cranking sound. It was the rats that roamed around our house from day to night. While rubbing my eyes I stood up and walked to the closet, where I got my old, faded blue uniform. It was the most boring routine of my life. But, the only that bothered me was the first day of class. No one has ever accepted me so I always get lonely. I walked up to the sink, that is ghe only place in the house that is semi-clean. I got my toothbrush and rushed down. "Bye mom! Bringing the groceries after school!" I shouted. I went outside and sipped some fresh air. I started walking, As I keep walking something caught my eye. It was Jordan Jefferson, The most popular, handsome and richest in school. I just went by him and my brain somehow fainted. I went by some buildings and some houses when I saw the sign that says: Empire High. -:-:-:-:-: First part! Hope you like it!
I like it so far. Just maybe proofread for grammatical errors. Like spelling and such. But it's pretty good. Wall me when updated
I walk down slowly to the steps, I cranked open the door and see a bright light. I fluttered my eyes, I went straight through the group of people. I went to the lockers, passed through the restrooms to the rooms when I found the classroom. I tried to rush in when someone I don't know who spmehow squeezed me. "Ouch! Watch where you are going Mister!" I shouted. "Oof! Pardon me." He said. I looked at him when I saw Jordan Jefferson. "Oh, Pardon me." I slowly say. "Jordan, Maybe you know me." He reached is hand towards me while giggling. "Aly, Aly Jones" I say. I went inside the room wherein almost all was laughing. It was embarrassing, So I went to my chair and sat down. It definitely caught my eye when Jordan was actually at my back. I didn't want to show everyone I was blushing. "Aly, Stop.... Please" I whisper to myself. -:-:-:-:-:- 2nd Part :3
Maybe you should make slightly longer updates if possible. And still a few spelling errors. But I'm liking the story so far. Wall me when updated again :3
There are some grammatically incorrect parts, especially in dialogue, so I'd suggest brushing up on your dialogue rules. You also mix up your tenses. Please don't make this a cliche story where the popular guys falls for the not as popular girl and they live happily ever after; there are enough of those. But keep going!️ It's not a bad start.
Not cliche... :3 Putting a twist in the middle part :3 Sorry if too late in doing this. Just trying to sneak so updating in week days and by the end of july, the long part will start :3 Updates is sometimes realeased from Fri- Sat :3 Sunday if possible :3