I know, I know. I've been gone but the place that I'm at right now has terrible Wi-Fi and I can't really do anything about. This was just a Drabble that was stuck in my mind and I needed to write before my head exploded. Just a warning it's full of Angst, not very cheerful at all. You've been warned. Let me know what you think. It's only meant to be one chapter long but my brain is like practically begging me to write another one but I don't know yet. Also this is my first time ever using Second Person so bear with me and I realize that the present and past tense is all messed up but it's like 6 in the morning and I haven't gone to sleep yet so do yourselves a favor and go cry me a river. Hopefully it's not that bad. Also I don't know if I'll be able to even get on again for while too, just a heads up. Onwards to the Drabble! }*{ You watch her, longing in your eyes. She's laughing—her voice melodic—entrancing even the most stubborn of subjects. She seems so close but yet so far, you're merely standing a couple of feet away but she seems so out of reach. She's happy. And that's all that matters. You've been through so much, flashbacks of the past invades your mind. You clench your jaw as memories after memories materializes itself in your brain. Unwelcome. Unwanted. But it's still there. Haunting you. You see yourself—younger, laughing—naïve—oblivious to the cruelty of reality. You're happy, you're with your family, everything was right, everything was perfect. But another memory replaces it. You're holding a gun towards your family—your arms kept in place by strong ones. Tears streamed down your face. You're lost. You don't know what to do. You beg him to don't do this, to don't make you do this. He replies with a hallow laugh, he grabs a hold of your hands and pulls the trigger. You stand there. Frozen. Eyes wide as you see each bullet penetrates their skulls. They dropped to the ground. Lifeless. He takes the gun away from you, you look at him. Tears continued to invade your vision as he looks back at you. His once soft expression was now replaced with an empty one. He puts the gun to his head, he whispers sorry before pulling the trigger. You hear the clatter of the gun as he drops to the floor. Also lifeless. You see yourself drop to your knees, your legs sprawled out as you stared at the now lifeless body that once belonged to your dad. You looked at the gun, you picked it up, put it against your head but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. You couldn't. You drop the gun, you begin to curl up into a ball as you hugged your knees. Slowly rocking back and forth. Why? You repeated the question in your head, it's always there—never letting go. You hear the faint sound of sirens. You recall the police knocking down your door but everything—everything was a blur. You faintly remember them putting you into a police car. They interrogated you, but you could barely bring yourself of answer them. You're alone. Everyone's gone. A loud sound jolts you back to the present. You look around and remembers that you're in the school's cafeteria. Your gaze catches hers. She's looking at you. Probably creeped out that you were staring at her. Most likely thinks that you're some kind of stalker now. You tear your eyes away. After a few minutes, you discretely look at her again. She was laughing again, she softly slaps her boyfriend on the chest. You look at him and you remembered that you helped him—woo her—for a lack of a better term. You look at back at her, she looks so happy—so content and that's all you could ever ask for. Because—dammit it all to hell, you could never have her. You could never make her happy. He makes her happy. And that's okay. You could never provide for her. How could you possibly keep her happy when you yourself is not happy. How could you possibly keep her from being broken when you yourself is broken. You're shattered. Stomped on until you turned to dust. Under the cold exterior lies a girl who's just afraid. A girl that's surrounded by darkness, curled up into a ball, desperately hugging her knees, sobbing, begging for everything to just be the same again. For time to reverse itself and change. But it can't. All you are now is just a shell of a girl that used to be.
Haha thanks for the support, I'm actually working on another chapter for this. I decided why not? Let's give it a go. I won't guarantee that it'll be a long story but I'll try my best to write it. Also for those waiting for the Catch You, Catch Me update, I'm so sorry for not updating yet. I'm slowly getting there please bear with me!
I laugh along with my friends, pretending to give them my full attention. But it was otherwise occupied—occupied by someone else. I look back at her—she's staring again—it's not the fact someone's staring at me that catches my attention. No—people stare at me all the time, I'm the most popular girl in school, why wouldn't they stare. No—it's definitely not that she's staring. It's how she stares. There's such intensity in her eyes—it's not like everyone else. It's not filled with jealousy, hatred, or lust. No—her eyes are filled with something else. Something more powerful. More entrancing. It grabs a hold of me and it doesn't let me go. It wraps itself around me and it tightens up the more I struggle. No—those eyes could never possibly be filled with something as pitiful as jealously, hatred, or lust. No—it's filled with raw emotions. Filled with so many emotions at the same time. All those emotions—stuffed into one person. Longing. It's as if her eyes are begging to look at them. To acknowledge them—it's nothing like lust. No—it's full of want—full of need—desperate for attention. For my attention. Knowledge. They seem more mature—filled with wisdom. They look at me like they know me—like they're tearing away all the layers on the outside and they're reaching in, uncovering all of my darkest secrets and telling me that they understand. Silently telling me they understand me. Hurt. So much pain and sadness—practically crushing all the other emotions. Her eyes are filled with so much hurt—almost leading me into a life—her life—where there's only pain and suffering. Where there's only hurt. Fear. The fear is faint—buried underneath all the other emotions but it's still there. Almost impossible to find. I see her all the time—it's hard not to—she's in all of my classes. She seems to appear everywhere out of thing air. All anyone ever see from her is a cold hearted being—never smiling—never showing any emotions. She never talks to anyone—it's seems like the only person she acknowledges is my boyfriend. She never gives any indication of acknowledgement when people talk to her—but with him. It's different. When he greets her she nods at him and maybe even a hello—as rare as it may be. But when she does, the world seems to stop and all I can do is listen to her. Her voice, soft as silk—firm, it's hallow of emotions and yet the cold from her exterior manages to lace itself onto her voice. Even though she's cold and never seem to acknowledge anyone—everyone is drawn to her. She's almost as popular as I am—she even managed to get herself a fan club and yet she does nothing. No one knows anything about her—rumors have gone by but none of them seems to fit. And just like everyone else, she managed to hook me onto her line and pulled me. Capturing me. But it's only times like this that I see a different side of her. A vulnerable side of her. Everything about her attracts me to her, the way she ignores everything and everyone. The mystery of her life. And especially the way she stares at me. Her eyes makes everything comes to a halt, time stops and they suck me into an abyss where there's only her. Nothing but her. Those eyes haunt me—making me believe that she's simply a shell of a girl. Everywhere I go I see them. I see her. But no matter how much emotions they convey—they could never pull me away from the facts. The truth. I've seen her records—perfect grades, perfect student, perfect athlete, parents so rich they could buy the entire continent of North America ten times. A girl with such a perfect life could never possibly understand those emotions. Could never possibly know those emotions. She could have longing for something when she can have everything. She could never know me, know my pains and my darkest secrets when she would never experience those pains and would never have those secrets. She could never know what hurt is when she have a loving family who waits for her everyday after school. She would never know the hurt of death. The pain and suffering that comes. The sacrifices you have to make. She could never know what true fear is when her life is filled with laughter and happiness. She's probably just looking for attention—pretending to be hurt. No—she could never possibly know what it's like. The clatter of someone's lunch tray hitting the floor brings me out of my bitter thoughts. Our eyes meet—a gasp catches itself in my throat. All I can do is gaze back—she's looking at me so intensely—almost burning me. Daring me to look away but to my surprise it was her that broke the contact. I continue to stare for a couple more seconds before shaking my head and bringing myself back into the conversation with my friends. Forcing another laugh. The bell rings—indicating that lunch was over, I stand up and throw away my lunch tray. I look over at her and our eyes briefly met again—the emotions from before gone, replaced by her usual cold ones. This time it was me who broke contact. I turn around and walk to my next class, softly scoffing to myself. No—a girl like her could never be a shell of a girl that used to be. }*{ Yeah I know, squeezing the title in at the end was a bit much but hey, it's my story. To be quite frank with you, I didn't like this chapter very much. I don't like the way I wrote it, it's hard to transition from a Second Point of View to a First Point of View without things being missing. Second Point of View gives you more raw emotions while the First Point of View is more of a narration than anything. But I need a way to distinguish between the characters and I didn't want to confuse you guys. So I'm sorry if this chapter sucked but that's all I can give you.