My parents rubbed an egg all over me during a lecture to "heal the sins that have overtaken me" To this day they insist on doing so. ??
Mom: Do the dishes Me:No Mom: im going to get ice cream Me: get me some *25mins later mom with ice cream* Me:wheres mine Mom should have did those damn dishes
it had to be from a chicken that was blessed by Mother Mary/God. The egg would "absorb" the sins then they threw it outside. Usually at the neighbour we hated so they can be sinful and such They had to bless the egg as well before they rubbed it on someone. ??
You're adopted. I told you we should have used a better condom. This is what happens when we drop him twice. I never should have allowed you to fuck me.
My parents always said "Go to ur room and think about what u did..." In turn I blame them for all my ability to overthink and overanalyze EVERYTHING My Mom usually was famous for saying, "If ur friends jumped off a cliff, would u jump too?" Lololol My Dad always said crazy stuff like: "If u were in Mogadishu, u'd eat it!" (This was in response to my not liking a certain type of food) "I brought u in this world, I can take u out !Just ask Marvin Gaye" "Don't give me lip service" "U'll go to hell for that lie" "Do as I say, not as I do" And my all time favorite, "BECAUSE I SAID SO!"
My mom is a broken record and always repeats herself with: "You're so *insert a crude word*, did you know that so and so's mom/dad told me that their son/daughter is doing this and that and you're not" (cause you know, I'm unoriginal and have to be like everyone else).
Dad: fuck fuck flying fuck fuck me more than fuck shit dicks moron fuck fuck flying fuck (I am not kidding)