I like the idea of this story. It just needs to be a little more clear I think. Try to organize your thoughts a little more befor you write. And slow down the pace is pretty fast. Idk maybe you want it that way. Good job it's still a great piece.
We stopped. I listened. I heard footsteps. Somebody opened the door. I was quiet when I was whispering."you know whoever opens that door is somebody from the room.
"why would they spy on us,Amy?" he asked. " You boys are cute but each of you want to know if I liked you, so.."
" I have to tell the truth,now." " Amy" "david" we both said our names the same time. "you go first" I said to David. "amy I've wanted to tell you this since third grade" "I love you" we both said a the same time.
" I heard footsteps again" I said loudly. We tried to get out before one of them opened the door. David opened the door and I fell on him. "fuck" I cussed.
We scrambled to get up. "Wyatt,we can explain!" I followed him into William's room with David trailing behind me. "really,you can explain?!?!" "Wyatt,calm down." "NO!" "tell me wyatt,what did I do wrong?" I asked. "you don't love me..."
I left after putting on my skirt and sneakers and left out the window. I dropped my stuff and ran to the pinball place. I took out my bag of quarters and started playing a pinball machine. "you like pinball?" said a voice behind me. I whipped out my pocket knife and twirled around."what do you want,David?"
I spliced out of his range and ran into a one room bathroom(no stalls),no locks. I put my self against the door to keep it shut. The door threw me to the ground. I crawled to the wall and stood up and I was pressed against the wall. "what do want from me?" I said.