I'm posting chapters in 2 pieces. They're going to be fairly short. I'm playing with a few ideas for this piece. --- Chapter 1 - In which Arlo Cable talks to a photograph. (Part 1/2) I stare at the photo above the table. On one side there's the silhouette of a tall woman and on the other there's one of a portly man. In the middle is a boy with ginger hair and freckles. He's smiling a gap tooth smile. I was such a happy child. "Today I'm going to clean the shop up so we can open again," I say to the silhouette of the man. He doesn't answer. He never does. But if he were here, my dad would sigh because that's something I've said everyday for six years; that I'd reopen the shop. To my mom I say, "Tonight I won't go to the bar. I'm going to ask a girl out to dinner. I hope you don't mind if we come back here." This one isn't a total lie. I am bringing a girl home tonight. She doesn't answer either, though. When she was here, she's constantly pressure me to meet girls, guys, anyone really. I don't know where my parents were taken. When the glitches got bad, they started preparing me and the house. I learned how to cook and clean and shoot a gun at twelve. The windows were boarded up then metal sheets were smelted over them, the stairwell from the shop to our apartment above was sealed off and a cross was hung above my bed. Two years passed and the glitches were further and further apart. I thought my family was safe. My parents thought we were safe. Then, I woke up one night. It was quiet, deadly quiet. The air was so thick it weighed me down when I breathed. My dad's loud snoring didn't reach my ears. In fact, the only I could hear was a quiet rustling. I knew there was a shadow in the dark kitchen, I heard the stories just like everyone else. I knew the shadow was feeling blindly along the walls and stealing away images of my parents. Anything that smelled or looked like them. It was all gone, all I was left with was the memories of them being here. I didn't get out of bed for three days.
Not bad. A few grammar/tense mistakes, as well as some sort of confusing sentences. Overall, I like it. Interesting idea.
Thanks for the feedback everyone. I'll be updating after I get off work ? Also, the beginning of my other story should be posted then as well.