Seeing nothing But feeling another's presence Vision of black Painful silence As darkness increases; buildings fade away One finds light; momentarily freezing the fading Light fills the shadow; restoring the faded world Finally seeing buildings restored to the sky Both closer together Now seen as brothers One shall never falter
I liked the general idea of it. It was a little off because it felt like it wanted to be a first person thing but then it was actually in third person format. On a whole, it was lacking something there was too much focus on being mysterious and descriptive that you seemed to lose what you were actually trying to say. Overall though, I think you've done a really good job and I hope to read some more soon! I'm sorry though if it seems harsh I can't help it I'm bluntly honest when it comes to any form of literature xx