So I've been gone for a while and wanted to make a forum post just for the hell of it. So I'm going to start off with a joke and if you have one you would like to share feel free. A joke about a**h**** One day there was a city bus full of ugly people, the bus gets into an accident and all the ugly people die. Before they enter heaven "The voice" gave them one wish to each the first guy comes up and says "I wish to be beautiful, more beautiful than any human on earth. "The voice" grants his wish and everyone asks the same wish. The last guy looks at them and laughs "The voice" asks " Why are you laughing?" the guy then replies "I know what I want" he pauses then says " Turn them all ugly again" Your Turn
Boy: "I got an F in arithmetic." Father: "Why?" Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'" Father: "But that's right!" Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'" Father: "What's the fucking difference?" Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"
...life is like a box of jelly beans, everyone hates the black ones... (Sorry if it's racist...best I could think off...and get from a friend)
Oooo... Bad choice of joke. What did the sea say to the ocean? Nothing, it just waved. The bad ones are the best.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music. While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money. "Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
Why i did the panda fall out of the tree? It was dead why did the second panda fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first panda