FAVORITE Tequila Story? Heck it's 3am why not hear about others adventures and hilarious adventures on tequila Lol Feel free to share!
Soooooooo.... This one time I drank tequila so much.. I stripped in public and just twerked right then and there. My ex was there... While my current bf is there too. Both drunk as hell. Jokes. I can't even drink for goodness sake. I am allergic to alcohol. HAHAHAHHAHHAA
Well, the first and ONLY time I drank tequila, my friend was getting married so a bunch of us went to Vegas for the bachelor party. We weren't really too keen on getting super crazy so we just chilled on the roof of the hotel and drank. And drank we did! Too much apparently bc we woke up the next morning and didn't remember a damn thing. The groom is freaking missing, the best man is missing a tooth and there a damn tiger in the bathroom, a chicken running around in the living room and a whiny little baby in the closet(we named him Carlos). So we take one look around that shit storm of a hotel room and we're all like 'Ok fuck this shit' and we head out to retrace our steps and hopefully find the damn groom. In the process of all that, we learn that, not only were we drugged with roofies, but the best man married a hot ass stripper who turns out is the baby momma. And good thing too bc that child was not becoming my bro. I mean, he was incapable of every level of awesomenessAnyway, I'm getting bored typing all of this. Long story short, we found the groom on the top of the roof all sunburnt and shit
I was drinking tequila and I had to go pee after. It was such a long pee, at least 3 hours long that some black guy came behind me and started whispering these secrets on how to get the best colored pee. Then I could feel something wiggling behind his back. That's when he whispered in my ear "That's not a comb in my pocket baby". I ran off and found some Mexican guy's taco truck. I went in and saw 12 of them hidden in the back of the truck with 300 ounces of coke. Let's just say I got my ass beat by those 12 Mexicans. When I woke up, I was in Puerto Rico, home of the homeless. I called my taxi driver and he took me to Mexico where we ate with 35 different Mexicans(I counted). We started drinking more tequila and when we were about to leave the restaurant we ate at, a group of asian Kung fu instructors did Jackie chan moves on our asses. I watched my taxi driver get his ass Bruce Lee'd and I took the chance to run to a Prius which some indian guy had stolen. He looked at me and ran out the car. I fell asleep inside the Prius and woke up naked in Cuba. Next 3 years, I lived on Cuba until Obama saved me in 2012.
?Maybe those crap hangover movies were based on the wacky misadventures of my lifeYeah, your mind has just been blown