Once opon a time there was a girl named Juiletta her parents Jenifer & Jerry but her parents did. Not know about Robert her no good boyfriend he cheated on her when she was busy on fablous Buissness trips with her parents he had up to 9 more girlfriends One day Juiletta wrote in her diary (Sigh I wish Robert would marry me we have been in a relashonship for 2 years now) so Juiletta went to his house to get his idea on marrige his house had broken tv's rats everywhere Spiders to!! Yuck she says silenty so she says Robert when will you marry me NEVER HE SAID IN A SCARY VOICE They went on and argued when Robert ended it by saying Im. Going to get you Julietta went and laid down in her Queen size bed and fell asleep in tears Robert then snuck in with a knife then he placed it under a Throat then SLICE SLICE SLICE he went and laughted Then he washed all the evidence her parents soon came home after he left and found her Naked and her head sliced off They rushed to call the cops 2days later Robert was found little did they know he killed girls just like Juiletta he had murdered about 60Girls in Brooklyn then her family jumped with joy and got justice 9Years later Juiletta's parent's died from cancer And sadly that's the end of the story The girl who thought he was good
A lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. And you went through the story too quickly, you need to take time to tell the story. You should take time to write it instead of trying to rush through it.
Thanks but really it was Suppose to be a quick Story and there's no grammer/spelling mistakes I see it very clear
Even quick stories take time to tell, One Shots are usually more detailed and there are a lot of periods, commas, and ect. missing from the story. There should be quotation marks when someone talks so it won't confuses the reader. A story should be comfortable for a reader to read instead of getting confused and having a hard time trying to understand it. You should separate your story into paragraphs as well. I'm just trying to give you constructive criticism.