Hello, readers!️ So, this is a new story I have written after a long break from writing. I hope you enjoy it. The Best Mistake Ever I sat on the lid of the toilet, my head in my hands. The stick was across the room on the floor: I couldn't bare to look at it. My best friend, Mel, was perched on the edge of the bath, her expression shocked. "You'll be fine," she comforted. "This kind of thing happens all the time!" "But not to somebody like me." I replied, and she shut up. I sat up slightly, and as I did so, I was reminded of that one night - one night two weeks ago. It had seemed impossible that something like this could have happened. But it did. "Are you going to tell him?" Mel asked. "Maybe. It might shock him." She nodded in reply. "Could I have a moment alone?" I asked. "Sure." I didn't watch her leave, but I heard footsteps retreating, then the click of the door closing behind her. I stood up and walked slowly over to the full length mirror. It was the middle of summer, so I was wearing only a belly top and shorts. I turned sideways. No bump. I looked at my face. It was pale - like it always had been - and framed with bright red curls that were inherited from my Dad. My eyes were a brilliant blue, and they were the only things beautiful about me. I was small and thin for a sixteen-year-old girl. I sighed and sat on the floor, next to the stick. Mel and I had gone to the pharmacy on the way home, and picked up one of the newer tests. It had a screen, and the words were still bright. Positive. 1-2 weeks. I felt tears sting the back of my eyes, and I let them fall into my lap. And suddenly I was thinking of that night with him. My best friend. And how he moved to Malaysia three days after. You can't tell him. You can't. I looked down and touched my stomach with the palm of my hand. "Hey," I said, through tears. "We're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay." I smiled. I looked up just as there was a knock on the door. "Fleur? Fleur? Is everything okay?" It was my mother. "Fleur. We know you're in there." And my father. I stood up slowly, and walked towards the door, pausing with my hand on the handle. I thought about what they would say if I told them. I imagined my mother's angry face, and my father's look of pain, understanding, and anger. I opened the door and passed the test to them. "But Fleur. This is impossible. You can't be pregnant." So that's it for the first part. I know it's short, but hey, why not?! I'd like to hear your opinions on my story - and also your opinions on teenage pregnancy!So post 'em below!
Please tell me you're going to make it realistic. Please tell me you're not going to have them over the moon that their 16 year old daughter is pregnant. Please tell me she will think of actual options because there are options. Also I've never heard or seen of a pregnancy test that tells you how long does that even like exist.
So far i can see it has some potential. However, it seems so focused on one thing. Basically "I had sex with my best friend one night(he's got game at least, right?), he left soon after, and now I'm pregnant because I decided fucking my best friend would be a good thing to do." Not the typical high school romance(sort of), but still a generic idea. However, original concepts come out of old ideas sometimes. Goid luck. Not trying to be harsh or anything! Also, more in depth description of thoughts. Metaphors and similes help. Other literary devices, such as personification can help aid in reader comprehension. Just some advice. c:
In England, there's this pregnancy test called Clear Blue or something, and it tells you how far in the pregnancy you are. Thanks all for the feedback?I'm terrible at writing in first person.
In Canada there is Clear Blue (or something like that) too. It DOES tell you how far along you have already been. And I'm sure the woman who is in the commercial says the moment it happens (or something like that) xD and this seems like an interesting story, wall me when you update