Politicians and what categories they come under. Well, for some strange reason, Politics have been on my mind a lot recently. No matter how much vodka I drink down in the bar, I can't seem to shift it... if that barman's been watering down the vodka again, he'd better pray to whatever deity who'll accept him. There's a special space in here reserved for people who water down vodka... I should know, I'm the woman who reserved it for them! So, now to the heart of the matter, politics. FSM knows why I'm thinking about it, but he probably has a reason for flinging the ideas into my head, some stray thoughts that have been floating around my head. First person to make a crack about there being plenty of space, will have a very scathing report written about them the next time I deign to pick up a pen. So these thoughts, leaving little notes saying back in 5 minutes behind your eyes, you start to think about other monsters of the night, the twilight, and those who are abroad in the day. Though I'm going to talk about two monsters in particular, creatures that have been seized and raised above their fellows many times over. I am of course talking about vampires and werewolves. Now there may be some of you out there who read this, shaking your heads and thinking to yourselves, if your mind hasn't gone for 5 minutes that is, "this is meant to be about politics, what's she doing writing about monsters best left to appearing at Halloween?" Well suck it up and wait a bit, I'm getting there. The way I see it there are three main types of Politician. There are the good intentioned, the vampires and the werewolves, these are the ones that I shall be concentrating on and I'll go into each in detail below. The Good Intentioned politician, henceforth to be referred to as the GI. This is a politician who is generally starting out and thinks that they can make a difference, and for a time they do. I should add now that no matter what politicians say, the GI type of politician is one of the least, of the three main categories, if they aren't strong willed, then they tend to succumb to one of the other two main types of politician. The Vampire politician henceforth to be referred to as the V. This is a politician who loves to be the centre of attention, positively preens themselves whenever the spotlight is upon them and loves to sink their teeth into the veins and arteries that make up the lifeblood of a country and slowly drain it dry. Though being the crafty people that they are, they hide the evidence well and it is only rarely that they get caught out, or get too greedy and make a blunder. They tend to work by themselves, or have a small coterie of their most intimate followers, who help to divert the spotlight when necessary. One old saying holds always true, "They never suspect the person hidden in their midst to be not their fellow sufferer, but their tormentor." The V is very crafty, so it is only if somebody knows precisely what they're looking for and are quick enough, that they ever get caught out. And even then, if they have their coterie, it's a simple matter of turning a trusted "confidante", into a patsy, by feeding them tidbits, akin to boiled boots, done up to look like steak, you know, looks like it's worth a lot, but in reality, it's not even worth the plate it's served on. Then, after keeping their operation on the down low for a while, they pick up, where they left off. Now we come to the Werewolf politician, henceforth to be referred to as the W. The W is similar to the V wherein they are both crafty, however, it is a different type of craftiness. Where the V will gently drain the lifeblood of a country, the W has a tendency to dig up some dirt and use it against their political opponents, the phrase "Bull in a China shop", springs to mind, for they blunder into things, but they tend to have charm and the air of innocence about them. There are also the little inflows that they earn, no matter how cleverly a V might hide their ill-gotten gains or the paperwork that proves they have ill-gotten gains, a W will eventually find it and turn it against them. And if they get caught, they invariably offer a nice alternative to the person who finds them, and then they have dirt on them too. W's tend to have a lot of followers and hangers on, who are willing to help them, though crafty they are more used to getting their way through force, or subtle hints and threats than anything else. Now those are the three main types of politician, there are others but they tend not be heard, or are followers of one of the three main types. Keep your ideas to yourself, over which categories your politicians fall under, they don't like having things like that revealed. Another politician might be able to succeed, but if your voice isn't loud enough, you run the risk of either getting snuffed out, or the equally disturbing thought of having head honchos of the government looking at you through a very fine lens. Well thankfully, this has managed to get it out of my system, either that or the scotch whiskey and rum mixers, I've started brewing for myself, with a White Russian. Before I forget, this is the way I see it, you the reader may have other opinions, so be it. This is Passion, the one and only, (Who's still alive!) signing off, catch you on the flip-side people. [Disclaimer, this is a piece written with no politician in mind and is in no way likening to anyone here, any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental. Written in the spirit of fun, and for all those who are game for a laugh.]