Oh also, I forgot to say some recommendations to improve the dialogue. You can cut out some of the fluff dialogue like "yeah" and "alright" that just takes up space and can make the writing seem a bit tedious. And I would suggest adding some narration, some dialogue tags, just changing it up a bit so EVERYTHING isn't just plain dialogue. Good job mags! I liked this.
Try interpretating ur dreams. Your dreams tell u things in ur waking life either for tells the future n outcome r tell u something n ur waking life what u refuse to acknowledge. Dreams r not what the seem in an unconscious state. U have to have knowledge of the meaning behind every person place r thing. You would b surprised what ur dreams can tell u. N me a person of enjoy interpreting ones dreams for clarification n meaning knows its a serious matter. " life is a dream within a dream" u just have to wake to see.
like Ireland said, its a story, not like something actually real. For all you know it may not even be on earth.
I know I haven't updated in like 6 months, but I decided that I want to continue this story. So here's an update. The next night and day passed much like the rest. I had a dream, recorded it, discussed it, went through the same schedule I always do. The only difference was that I was paying attention. I always pay attention, but today more than ever it was crucial that I notice every detail. I had to find a way to avoid drinking that liquid. At breakfast I noted down where we dispose of our food. After we finish eating and drinking we bring our plates, utensils, and cups to our elemental window. There we sort them into categories by use. Since I am in The Water Element group, all our plates and cups are blue. As I am putting mine away, I make another observation, an important one. Our cups are not transparent! No one is able to see how much we have - or have not - drunk. They usually take our word for it, after all, we live a good life and no one has ever felt the need to question the drink before. We all think of it as dessert, and when you are always on a health run, you eat sweet food when the opportunity arises and keep quiet so it never would leave. After breakfast I go to my room to record the night's adventures. I hurry the process and finish with eleven minutes to spare. I use the extra time to find another notebook and record my observations. Afterwards, I head to the liquid lounge to continue the day. After lunch and dinner I have a few things to add to my observation list. After I'm done recording, the list looks somewhat like this: Food goes to elemental windows Cups are opaque Cups contain drink residue when submitted (up to 1/8 full) Cups are originally 2/3 full Night liquid drunk with straws Shade of outfit is unimportant as long as it matches elemental color Drink is room temperature Tables seat as little as 4 and as many as 10 people I take my list and go meet up with Matt to figure out a plan. We compare our lists, which happen to be identical, and then hash out a course of action. We finish by the time we are called to sleep. We decided to both skip drinking the liquid. We are not going to do this tomorrow since we want to checkup on each others' progress and meeting so many days in a row will raise suspicion. Instead we agree for the day after tomorrow. Today Matt leaves first and I follow after waiting three minutes.
I reach my room, change into my light-blue pajama tank and shorts, get into bed and drift off to sleep. I am a little girl around the age of three. I have a wisp of strawberry blonde hair and I'm wearing a white two-piece swimsuit covered in little red and yellow flowers. Today is my first day at the beach, my mom is about to teach me swimming and I am very excited. I put my hands in the sand and throw handfuls in the air watching as they fall and then doing it again. I giggle, showing my two front teeth as some of the sand lands in my hair. "Mommy! Mommy! Is it time? Can I go with the fishies yet?" My mom laughs at my remark and says, "Sure, lets go." I jog up to her, grabbing her hand and pulling her into the ocean. She teaches me a few basic skills and then says that its time to go onto the beach and dry up. She lays down on a towel, taking in the sun while I sit on the sand making castles. After awhile my mom falls asleep and I get bored. I want to try swimming again but do not want to disturb my mom. I quietly get up and walk into the water. As I step in, the ocean lightly slaps my ankles. I jump up, exclaiming in surprise and giggle. The water feels nice and cool. I keep going in deeper, the water is now up to my chest. As the water level fluctuates due to the waves I get a little taste of saltwater. I find it intriguing. I think about the fish, they always get to go in this amazing water. They get to swim around look at shells, other fish, all the cool things that lay within the water. As I am thinking this I see what I think looks like a flower in the sand. I go under the surface to try and get it. As I am swimming below the surface I get a weird feeling in my throat. I ignore it. It starts getting worse. I finally decide to go up, hoping the feeling will stop. But I can't. I did not know how to swim. I tried turning around, kicking my legs, waving my arms. Soon I started moving up. I was almost at the surface. Just a little bit more. I can make it. Everything went black. I woke up gasping for air. Another not so wonderful death. I started getting dressed and doing my normal morning procedures. Silently joking that I better not have swimming as an exercise option today. After I was ready I went to breakfast. The day proceeded normally. After dinner I stayed and talked to my friends and when it was time to sleep we all parted and went our ways.
I finished the update but it sounds really really bad so I'm gonna rewrite it. ? It'll probably be ready by tomorrow or maybe, possibly, within the hour.