 Hello FF 

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by -Ahli-LovesMike, Jan 25, 2014.

  1. I have never seen someone write like this before but damn it was awesome, good job Ahlie
     
  2. I loved it  It's rare to see second person point of view but it's even more rare to see it done well. Many writers struggle with second person but you did it very well  I can't wait to read more by you 
     
  3. I would rather read this instead of the stupid threads now  great story!!
     
  4. I enjoyed this as my morning readgo ahlie
     
  5. I do like it, however there are some minor errors here and there, and though it's wandering the pace doesn't seem quite right, I'd almost say it's not meandering enough. What would be nice is maybe focus on sentiment from the person who's speaking. Idle thoughts, maybe make it feel a little more somber, because it lacks depth, I understand the idea is regrets and all of that, and happiness, but the idea can be executed a little more thoroughly. I do enjoy this though, and hope there's more of it in the future.
     
  6. Nice Ahli. Shocked me at first that you wrote something here, but I like it!
     
  7. Wow... well done! :)
     
  8.  Thank you all very much! 