Alexander and Maria

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by CallMeNoona, Dec 28, 2013.

  1. Okay so a new story.. :c anyways, this story may be a little confusing if I were to just put up the updates as I go so I'm going to explain it. So this story deal with the reincarnation of two lovers, Maria and Alexander. I'll be writing updates of the story their past lives and present lives. I'll switch back and forth in each update. To lessen any sort of confusion I've kept everyone's name the same. It'll be weird, but I really hope you guys enjoy the story?

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    The wind blew cold around us as we ran through the streets of the small village. The wind was cold against my face but I ignored it and held Alexander's hand tighter as to not let go. It was dark as any other night but was so cold for a December day.

    "Are you alright?" Alexander asked me.

    "I am, but I am very cold," I responded.

    "We'll be out of the village soon, Maria and we can find somewhere to stay once we're out of the kingdom. We're almost there, we're almost free."

    Free. I liked the sound of that word. Once we left this place we wouldn't have to worry about anything else. We would always have each other and we could finally be happy. Alexander was my life and the one person whom I truly loved.

    "Are you afraid?" he asked as he gripped my hand tighter.

    "No. Not anymore. You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. The one I truly care about. I don't care if that means I have committed a crime. As long as we leave, there's no one who can stop us."

    "I won't let anyone hurt you. Not now. Not ever," he said. "You are my life, Maria. I will not let go of you."

    There were soft tears that sprung in my eyes and they froze as they rolled down my cheeks. I felt reassure by him. He was someone I could depend on. I could see the edge of the village now and I could feel Alexander quicken his pace. As we neared the bridge that indicated 'no man's land' the sound of hooves became louder and louder. In seconds we were cut off by three horses.

    "Maria. I should have known that you would flee. But I didn't think it would be tonight. And with Alexander no less. I knew you were close but not this close."

    "Mason..." I whispered. It was Mason, my betrothed and husband to be the next day. "Please let us be. We have done no harm, we only want to be happy," I said quietly as I looked up at his face.

    "Let you go? Is that what you're asking? Maria. My love. You belong to me. That is what your parents decided a long time ago. It's about time you accept me into your life. I will not let you throw away your life for a stable boy. He will not be able to give you the life you want."

    "And what is it that I want?"

    "A rich and fabulous life. Every girl dreams of that, so why would you be any different. Maria, I can give you that. Can he?"

    "No he can't."

    "Then come back to me, my love. Accept me as your husband."

    "No. Mason... I know that Alexander can't provide any sort of riches for me. But I will not leave him because of that. I am in love with him. I always want to be with him. I want to marry him mand bear his children. I love him more than anyone. Please understand."

    "If I can't have you... then he can't either," he said and he signaled to the two other men who came with him. They raised their bows and aimed at Alexander. It took me a moment to realize what was going to happen. My blood ran cold and I flung myself in front of him.

    "Don't!" I shouted. But it was too late. The arrows were shot and I could feel myself fall. I could hear Mason shouting and I could faintly see more arrows fly through the air. I saw Alexander fall down beside me. He whispered something I could faintly hear but recognized it as "I love you." That was the last thing he said before his breathing stopped. My own breath became short and at last my eyes closed and I was at peace.


    Alexander.


    I didn't regret a single day I spent with him. He was my lover and the one who held my heart captive. He had struck me as being the kindest and most wonderful person who had ever been created by God. I still remember the day I met him. The day my father, a lord in the kingdom, hired him as our stable boy..

    ~

    It was a colder morning than usual but nonetheless I loved the smell of morning. I would often go out and pick some flowers for my mother. As I was picking some daisies I heard a sound come from the stables.

    "Father?" I called out. When there was no response I hesitantly stood up and walked over to the stables and opened the door. There was a young man who was picking up some horse pails. He looked up at me and grinned.

    "Hi," he said. "You must be-"

    At this point I dropped all of the daisies and ran towards the house. As I ran I could feel myself fall forwards. Upon doing so I flung my arms out in from of me as to break my fall. As I fell to the ground I realized I had fallen in a wet puddle of mud. Had it rained? I didn't pause to think and ran towards the house.

    "Father!" I shouted as I ran inside the house. I kicked off my shoes which were muddy and full of mud themselves at the door. I ran up the stairs to my mother and father's room and swung open the door.

    "Maria... it's so early in the morning. What are you doing up so early?" he asked he rolled over in bed. When he saw me his eyes widened and he rubbed his forehead with his right hand. "Maria. Why are you covered in mud?"

    "I saw a man in the stables! I heard a loud crash and he was there! I ran here but as I was doing so I tripped and fell. I suppose it rained last night because it was very muddy outside. But come quick! I fear he is an intruder!"

    "Maria calm down," he said and he pulled the covers up over his chest. "He's the new stable boy I hired. His name is Alexander l. Treat him well," he mumbled and he shooed me out.

    Curious to know who this new stable person was, I went back outside. I opened the door once again and walked inside.

    "Stable boy?" I called.

    "Here," came a voice from my horse, Nemian's stall. A younger man stood up, brushed his hair out of his eyes and waves over at me. "Do you need anything, Miss?"

    "Ah no," I muttered. "Sorry about earlier... I thought you were a robber or something."

    "Haha don't worry about it," he said and he smiled at me. "I understand that you didn't know I started working for your father today. But anyways, you but be Maria. Your father spoke quite a bit about you."

    "Yes... he tends to speak of me a lot."

    "How old might you be now, Maria?" he asked.

    "That's not a very polite question to ask," I said quietly.

    "Then I am sorry if I have offended you, Miss. My name is Alexander, it's nice to meet you," he said flashing a smile again.

    I looked away. "Nice to meet you as well, Alexander. And... well... I am Maria, as you know. And I am twelve years old," I responded.

    "Ah, such a big girl," he said. "I remember when I was twelve."

    "How old are you?"

    "I just turned nineteen last month," he replied. He continued to work and I observed him. He was quite handsome for a commoner. He had hair the color of hay, only a little more golden and bright green eyes. His face had a rugged look to it with some facial hair. His face nonetheless was handsome in its self and he had a tall and muscular build. Compared to anyone else in the village, he was probably the best looking man.

    "Do I have something on my face?" he asked as he raised a hand to touch his face.

    "No," I said and I looked away from him.

    "Okay," he laughed. He walked over to me and he lifted a hand to my cheek. "Excuse me, but you have some mud... right here," he said and he wiped a small bit of mud off my face. "I hope you don't take offense to this, but you look rather... nice."

    "What?" I asked.

    "Your hair... I love the color. My mother has the same color. Brown is a nice color. Especially when it's as dark as this."

    "I wish I had the same color hair as you," I said softly.

    "I think yours is fine the way it is," he said and he smiled. "It suits a lady such as yourself. It makes you look like a refined young lady."

    "A refined young lady?" I said so burst out laughing. "You're weird Alexander. It's just hair."

    He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I like your laugh. You should laugh more often, Miss".

    I smiled. "Maybe I will if you're around more. I hope you stay with us for a long time," I told him. "Well I have classes now. I might come here afterwards but don't wait up if I don't."

    "I understand," he said. "Study hard, Miss."

    "I will!" With that I skipped out of the stables happily. He was such a nice man, and I hoped he would stay with us for as long as possibly could.
     
  2. A few spelling/grammar mistakes, but this idea is very interesting. I'm intrigued.I like this; I'll be reading!
     
  3. Shoot. That's a bad habit of mine. I always forget to proof read beforehand?
     
  4. "Maria!"

    I jumped up in my bed once I heard my mother about my name. I grabbed my clock off my night table and gasped. It was fifteen minutes after eight. I leaped out of bed and ran to my closet, opening it to reveal a disheveled mess. I groaned and picked up the nicest and least wrinkled clothes and quickly changed.

    "Maria! Hurry up and get down here! It's your first day of school and if you're late I will kick your ass!" Shouted my mother again.

    I flailed together my arm inside my sleeve. "Yes Mother!" I shouted back. As soon as I was finished I grabbed my bag, binder and flee down the stairs. "Bye Mother!" I shouted as I ran out the front door.

    "At least take this," my mother called as I was at the end of the driveway. She held out a brown paper bag that probably contained my lunch. "I threw a few granola bars in there in case you wanted something before school."

    "You're the best," I said as I walked up to her and took the bag.

    "I know," she said and she patted my head. "Have a good day at school. And don't come home too late, your father will be here at four to pick you up."

    I frowned. "I don't want to go to his place anymore."

    "Don't whine. You'll be fine."

    I narrowed my eyes. "If that woman is there again, I'm going to come home because I can't stand her. So don't be too mad if I sneak in later tonight."

    "Get your ass to school," she laughed and she pointed in the direction of my high school. "And maybe you should take your bike."

    "Alright," I said, shaking my head. I grabbed my bike from inside the garage and quickly pedaled off.

    September.

    It was the first day back to school and I would be entering grade eleven. I loved school and I usually worked very hard and made honor roll every year. Despite being one of the top students, I was not a favorite among the teachers as I was a tardy student. I always tended to wake up late more times than not. As I approached my school I could see a fair bit of student running towards every entrance. I wasn't the only student late today. I locked my bike up and went inside. As I entered the common area I could see many groups of friends greeting each other and people already fighting. I could faintly see my group of friends across the common area. I ran over there.

    "Hey guys!"

    "Maria!"

    "Hey Maria!"

    They all greeted me and my best friend, Lauren hugged me. "Hi Maria, it's great to see you. But... you need to do something about your hair..."

    "What?"

    My two friends, Brittany and Miranda both giggled.

    "Girl, your hair looks wind blown. Did you wake up late again?" asked Miranda. "I have a brush you can use," she said and she began digging through her bag.

    "Your hair is too nice to look so ugly," laughed Brittany. "I wish I had your color, it's so pretty."

    "No.. I wish I had blonde hair like Lauren," I said and I ran my fingers through Lauren's hair.

    "No you don't. Blonde is such an ugly color," she said and she smiled gently. "I like the darkness of your hair. I think everyone envies it."

    "But so many people have dark hair."

    "That is true but yours is-" she paused. "...different."

    "Different?"

    "I don't know what I'm saying," she laughed. "Anyways, what are your plans after school? We were thinking of catching a movie or something. Would you like to go?"

    I sighed and sat down. "I have to go to my dad's today."

    "Bummer. Do you think Jennifer will be there?" asked Miranda as she handed my her brush.

    "I hope not. I hate that woman," I said and I took the brush from her. "But I could probably go to a movie anyways, he'll probably be late again so I'll have time. What movie?"

    "We don't know yet. But it'd be great if you could come," said Brittany.

    "I will. Don't worry. My mother might be a little peeved but my dad wouldn't care."

    "Alright," we'll meet at the front gate after school, sound good?"

    "Yep."

    The bell rang and the four of us said our goodbyes and we all headed to our classes.

    As class started I begun to think of what to do after school. I really didn't want to go live with my dad for the next week, I hated it there. My father was the president of a trucking company and a very rich and important man. He and my mother divorced seven years ago after the constant disapproval put upon her by his family. My mother was a cool person who raised me well but still had her faults. My father was a cold man who never paid attention to me but treated his new wife, Jennifer and her children more decently. I hated the time I spent there but there was nothing I could do about it.

    "Maria. Pay attention in class. So the next math problem on the board.

    I awoke from my thought and looked at my teacher, Ms.Blake. "What?"

    The entire class broke into laughter and I shrugged. I could see my teacher roll her eyes and she walked over to my desk and laid the white board marker in front of me.

    "Do the next question on the board," she repeated.

    I sighed but did as she said. As I went to sit down I noticed one of my classmates looking at me. He had been in my class since middle school and was one of those shy and quiet kids. He sat right beside me just as he did last year in chemistry class. His name was William Davis. As I approached my desk, Ms.Blake told us we had a work period until the end of class. At this, everyone started talking to one another. I saw my teacher roll her eyes again and she ignored the class

    "Hi," I whispered as I sat down.

    "Oh, hi," he whispered back softly.

    I smiled warmly at him. He was cute, like a little kid. He had lighter blonde hair that was cut short and a little messy. He had brown eyes that were as dark as mine and glasses that covered them. He looked rather tall for his age but nonetheless gave off a vibe of being a little insecure.

    "William, right? I've only talked to you a little before."

    "Ah, we've actually never spoken before," he corrected. "But then again, we don't have much in common so..."

    "Hmm. I'm sure we have something in common. What is something you like?"

    "That I like? Um... video games and studying. Although I'm probably the only one that enjoys studying as a pass time," he laughed. He was a little awkward but I ignored that part of him.

    "You're not the only one. I may look like some sort of delinquent to you but I really enjoy studying too. I mean, I don't look like much of a student but believe me, whenever I'm at my dad's house I usually lock myself away and studying until the week is over and then I go back home."

    "Home? Dad's house? Your parents... are they separated?" he asked. "Sorry if that's a rude question."

    "Nah, it's fine. They're divorced actually."

    "I guess that's something else we have in common. My parents are divorced as well. Although, I don't see my mother very often. I see her maybe once a year or so. I don't like her too much."

    "Ha, I love my mother, she's the best! But my father..." I looked down. "He could care less about me so I tend to care less about him as well." I frowned.

    "That's like my mother. She could honestly care less about me, but she loves my younger brother and sister. She gives them anything they want or desire. The last thing she bought me was a hat, when I was in grade three."

    I nodded as I understood the pain of being unloved by a parent. We spoke a little more before the class ended and we went our separate ways to other classes. As school ended I hurried out of my last class and ran to the front gate where Lauren and Brittany were waiting.

    "There you are, Maria. Have you seen Miranda?" asked Brittany.

    "No I haven't," I said and I looked behind me. "There she is!" We all looked to see Miranda running over to us in a hurry. She had a worried look on her face as she approached us.

    "Brittany! Lauren! Guys, Mr.Hendrick saw what we did to Mrs.Lassen's desk! He wants to speak to us now. If we don't go, he'll have us expelled."

    "What did you guys do?" I asked and I folded my arms.

    I heard Lauren groan and she looked at me. "Sorry, we have to go Maria. We'll have to go out another time. And I'll text you the details of what we did... it's nothing good but the old hag deserved it."

    "Uh... okay." I watched as the three of them bolted back towards the school. I sighed. There went my fun for the afternoon. I went to the bike rack and retrieved my bike which I had parked. I got hole a little after four and my father was not there.

    "Mom?" I called when I entered the house.

    "I'm in the kitchen," she called back.

    I followed her voice into the kitchen where she was sitting and reading the newspaper. When she saw me she smiled and got up.

    "I made you some cookies you can take with you toy our father's," she said and she handed me a bag filled with sugar cookies. "Don't eat them all at once or you'll get fat."

    "Knowing myself, I'll probably do it anyways," I said and I laughed.

    "Knowing you, you probably would."

    Another hour went by and my father still hasn't arrived. I impatiently waited on the outside step before opening the screen door of my house and shouting in to my mother, "I'm going out for a bit, okay Mom?"

    "What? Now? Your father will be here any minute!"

    "No he's not. And if he does come, he can wait. He always makes me wait," I said and with that I ran off. I walked to the busier part of the city. I didn't care if my friends weren't with me or not, I'd go and see a movie by myself. As I neared the main theatre I noticed someone walking a few feet away from me. From the back he was a taller man with hair the color of hat that fell behind his ears. It looked a little tussled but also looked neat. I felt as though I recognize him even though I couldn't see his face. I watched as he walked towards the local museum of art and our of curiosity, I followed him. I watched as he walked towards the door but then he froze and he turned around.

    What?

    I recognized that face. I knew him. But from where? Our eyes met and quickly looked away from me. His eyes were a bright green and his face was rather handsome. I could feel my heart begin to race and I could feel myself yearn to reach out to him. I knew him. There was no doubt that he and I had met before. He was...


    "Alexander..."
     
  5. Love it! Great job.
     
  6. PUPILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. UPDATE PLS AND WALL ME
     
  7. Oh man. I was so confused because I didn't read the thing on the top.
    About the past stuff, I don't know what time period you're aiming for exactly, because she's in a dress, and I'm thinking possibly feudal system because lord over village kind of thing, but then studies, for a girl, didn't happen, unless they were lessons for lady stuff, and twelve, she'd probably be betrothed by then.
    But artistic freedom, right? Whatever.
    Grammar, there is some awkward wording just in general, otherwise minor mistakes, nothing really to worry about.
    I will say I don't like the immediate understanding that the love interest just like dies, also that other than the thing at the top, there was no indication of time changes for someone who didn't bother reading it, maybe just like a thing at the top that says "Present" or "Past".
    I do like the idea though it is a bit common with the past to present parallels, still good as long as you have some tact.
    Thanks for posting! Pretty decent.
     
  8. Now THAT is good feedback and to be honest there is no set period for the past part... I more or less made up some random time period and used it (I did that only because it's just a story for this game, if I were to put it online somewhere else I would have chosen a time period and stuck with it) As for telling the audience about which is "present" and which is "past", I did consider that but then, I thought it would be obvious Guess not But I am happy that you have critiqued me, I somehow feel honored
     
  9. Ah now I see. I'm just the perfectionist type, but that's perfectly fine and I'm totally willing to accept it.
    Yeah I got it after a second but remembering is a whole 'nother thing I tell you what. Just a nice reminder, is all .
     
  10. you saved from my nightmares again!:')
    i am eternally grateful :3
    but yeah, what Qinny said. good stuff, but could do with fine tuning :3
    other than that, great stuff, and keep on writing! c:
     
  11. I haven't read a good story in a while since all my old fanfic friends aren't on anymore, this is really interesting, I was confused at first, but I read over it a few times, and got the hang of it.

    You have just earned another loyal reader ahaha ? update me please ?
     
  12. Bump! Really good. Let me know when you update
     
  13. Rukia
    I just noticed where you got your name from...