I remember when I was down in Mexico for 3 years some friends and I went to a popular place called Wings Army. Expensive as fuck. Anywhoo, so we got there at 8pm and ordered wings and drinks and stuff right. So like at 11pm everyone but me was drunk (they each had about 15 beers and some shots,I dont like beer so I only had 3 shots and a bit of vodka. So we were chatting and then we look over to my friend James and he's throwing up on the table and we're all lol'ing and crap. So they take him to the bathroom and I'm sitting at the table with another friend Carlos while the employees are cleaning up. Three friends went with James so it was only him n I chatting. So 30 mins later we get up to find em and we see Richie and James sitting at another table chatting with an older couple drinking and stuff. So we ask him where the girls are and they're outside. I go outside and one girl hands me her bra and has a napkin on her mouth (all 4 of them were throwing up) and crap. So like at 2am we decide to leave. We pay the bill which was like $180 dollars. We all get in Richie's car and like halfway to my house I look over at James and he's covering his mouth and I'm like "what are you--" and all of a sudden a stream of puke hits my eye and im blinded. He of course starts laughing and is puking all over the car so Richies like "okay. Everyone GET THE FUCK OUT" so we get out and hail a cab for James and the girl that gave me her bra and they leave. And yeah. I get home take a quick shower and go to bed. Was a fun day. I got more stories but im tired of typing
My old roommate in college provides me with stories that would interest anyone. He brought his motorcycle into our common room because he was "afraid it would be stolen." This was fine, but then he started it and let it idle for 15 minutes without opening any windows, causing all of our stuff to smell like motor exhaust. After his girlfriend left him, he went berserk in his private bathroom with a sledgehammer or a geologist's hammer and smashed all of his bathroom fixtures. I'm not sure of this but I believe that just before she left him she fucked some guy with pubic lice in my bed during a party. His toilet was inoperative at this point, so he used mine for a time, until I refused him access. Later I would find out that he shat in garbage bags and kept them in the common room closet for weeks. More on this later. He set fire to our carpet with alcohol during a party. He pissed in the fridge. He shat in the fridge. He shat in the crisper drawer. He shat on the oven top, and instead of cleaning it up, turned on the burner, reasoning that carbon is easier to clean than feces. He left a dead cat he found somewhere in our oven for a week and forgot about it. I discovered it later. He owned 6 tarantulas, and would let one run around free-range. He assured me he had "tamed it". I assured him he was a stupid shithead. He never showered. He sold drugs from his room. He smoked pot with his friends in the common area. He spilled bong water on two of my text books. He and his friends did cocaine off of the television set in the common area. He had a party to which he invited too many people, and they spilled into my room. Strangers had sex in my room at that party. In my bed. One of them had pubic lice. Someone took a dump in my closet. Someone left a used condom in my slipper. I discovered all of these things after it was too late. Morning after said party, my mother knocked on the front door, and a stranger from that party answered and immediately threw up on her legs. Crackheads would regularly come by our apartment at all hours of the night trying to buy drugs because of his illicit activities. Whenever I answered the door and indicated that there was no crack to be had, they would sometimes get, desperate, belligerent and violent, and refuse to leave. College was awesome.
Lol. This is really embarrassing, but whatever. So my friends and i were at a party one night after a Football game, and we got really drunk. And these two guys started getting in a fight. Outside, in the yard. So I started crying. And I was like screaming I guess, that I just wanted everyone to be friends, and life wasnt about finding the bad in people. And so here I am on the ground, crying about some guys I dont even know, in my cheer uniform. Also talking about praising the lord, and whatever. I dont even remember. It was bad. And that that same freakin night, we decided to get classy. We were riding around town, in golf carts. Golf carts. I think th ats illegal. But its a small country town with 820 people. So whatever. Lol but seriously, can you not laugh at a bunch of drunk teenagers swerving on the road in fancy golf carts? Hashtag, livin on the wild side.
i'm sort of the fun drunk, one reason why i get invited to a lot of parties. haha i don't go too crazy though.