Hey All, Bewbs Here, What is Christmas without some extremely cheesy jokes huh?? Here you go...you're welcome Now go forth and spread the festive joy ❄A song told me to Deck the Halls...so I did. Mr.and Mrs. Hall are not very happy ❄Q: What's the difference between snowmen and snowladies? A: Snowballs ❄Q: Why is Christmas just like your job? A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit? ❄Q: What do you call an elf who sings? A: A wrapper!? ❄Q: Why doesn’t Santa have any kids? A: He only comes once a year ❄Q: How does Jack Frost get to work? A: By icicle ❄Office Holiday Memo To: All Employees From: Management Subject: Office conduct during the Christmas season Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council). •Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged. •Playing Jingle Bells on the push-button phone is forbidden (it runs up an incredible long distance bill) •Work requests are not to be filed under “Bah humbug.” •Company cars are not to be used to go over the river and through the woods to Grandma’s house. •All fruitcake is to be eaten BEFORE July 25. •Egg nog will NOT be dispensed in vending machines. In spite of all this, the staff is encouraged to have a Happy Holiday ❄ Knock Knock Who’s there? Snow Snow who? Snow business like show business! ❄Q: What’s the most popular wine at Christmas? A: “Do I have to eat my Brussel sprouts?” ❄Santa Claus is a woman! Santa Claus is a woman because: •The vast majorities of men don’t even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and only go for a last-minute shopping spree. •A man would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions. •Men can’t pack a bag. •Men would rather be dead than be caught wearing red velvet. •Men would feel their masculinity is threatened…having to be seen with all those elves. •Men don’t answer their mail. •Men aren’t interested in stockings unless somebody’s wearing them. •Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment ❄All I Needed to Know About Life I learned from Santa ~Encourage people to believe in you? ~Always remember who’s naughty and who’s nice ~Don’t pout? ~It’s as much fun to give as it is to receive ~Some days it’s ok to feel a little chubby? ~Make your presents known? ~Always ask for a little bit more than what you really want ~Bright red can make anyone look good ~Wear a wide belt and no-one will notice how many pounds you’ve gained? ~If you only show up once a year, everyone will think you’re very important ~Whenever you’re at a loss for words, say: “HO, HO, HO!” Merry Christmas Guys and Gals (I will not be held accountable for the 2mins of life lost reading this thread?)