So, this is my first story and i've decided to make it a horror. I was watching Scary Movie (The first one) and then this came up in my mind. Please give me any polite feedback because i really want to improve for readers. Thanks and enjoy. Chapter 1 The late night moonlight sparkled in the town of Ballare. The Knight Family's only daughter sat at her vanity desk, powdering her face as her younger brother, Dylan, stood in the pink doorway. "Where are you going Chelsea?" He asked. She scowled and rolled her eyes. "None of your business, snot." Chelsea replied sharply. She stopped to think and then started applying bright red lipstick. "Fine i'll tell you, since you clearly won't leave me alone. I'm going to a party." Dylan's expression quickly turned into confusion. "But it's almost midnight." He whispered. Chelsea glared at her brother. "It's only 10:00. Learn how to tell time, you abortion!" She shouted while throwing her mascara wand at him. As he stepped away from her room Chelsea called him back. "And don't tell mom nor dad that i'm going out or else." She nearly shouted in a whisper. Dylan sighed and dragged his feet to his room. Chelsea's eyes darted to her phone as it rang. She picked it up and smiled. "Hellooo!" She said in a sing-song tone. "Hey. I'm out front. Hurry up." The caller stated. It was Chelsea's latest boy-toy and running back for their high school football team, Ryan. "Okay geez, i'm on my way out now." She giggled while grabbing her coat and purse. As she stepped out her house, the cool September breeze ran threw her. A chill was sent down her spine. Ryan glanced at her and grinned. "Took you long enough." Chelsea rolled her eyes and hopped in the convertible. "Just shut up and drive." She sneered. Dylan watched as his sister drove off from their house with Ryan. •••••••••••••••••••••••••• Chelsea and Ryan pulled up to the loud and crowded mansion. Music filled the road and caused the front yard to vibrate. They walked inside and examined the students dance and socialize. Not one person was without a cup. "Come on, let's dance!" Chelsea squealed. Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed Ryan's hand and dragged him by the DJ. They danced for hours until Chelsea finally grew thirsty. "Babe, can you get us some drinks?" She asked over the loud pop music. Ryan nodded his head and walked towards the kitchen. She was about to follow him, until she noticed her foundation sweating out. She walked up the stairs to the third floor and walked through the empty hallway. Her head was spinning as she looked through most of the rooms for the bathroom. Turning the doorknob to one last room, she hoped to find a mirror. She walked inside and found an empty bedroom. Her eyes widened at the sight. "This place looks like it hasn't been used in like 20 years!" She said to herself under her breath. There were wide spiderwebs in every corner and dust on every single piece of furniture. As she took a step, the floor made a high squeak. While scanning the room, she spotted a mirror hanging by the window. She smiled widely and rushed over to the blurry mirror. In disgust, she wiped the dirty mirror with her sleeve, and took out her make-up kit to start fixing her foundation. She heard footsteps outside the room but just assumed they came from another girl searching for the restroom. She puckered up and began to add lip liner. She stopped and looked behind her. "That's weird. It sounds like the floor creaked." She thought. No. That's impossible. She was the only person in there. She continued but couldn't stop thinking about the floor. She bent down to put her make-up back into her bag. In a swift movement, someone from behind wrapped a string around her neck and pulled back. Chelsea 's eyes grew as she struggled to break free. She quickly tilted her head forward and head-butted her attacker's face. They stumbled back a little, causing them to released the string. Chelsea took this opportunity to run towards the door. The mystery person grabbed her by her hair, and threw her to the ground. She cried out in pain as she bumped her head against the hard floor. The attacker pulled out a machete and stared down at Chelsea. She looked up at them with pleading eyes, blood dripping down her forehead. "Please..." She cried out. She examined the raven mask and cringed. Without mercy, the masked murderer, started to slash away at Chelsea's neck... So yeah that's Chapter 1. Please only post polite and respectful comments. I will accept feedback and tips but not rude ones. Thanks you!
Good job. I liked it. The paragraph formation kinda threw me off, but other then that I say keep going.
Not bad, I would just suggest proofreading because there are some spelling/grammar/ punctuation/capitalization errors. Also, maybe adding a bit of suspense and detail. It's not bad so far. Keep writing!