I don't want to lie on my deathbed and still worry that someone would hire my tutors, or farm me the next instant :/ BUT I might be hoping that I can make it to the next regen, and the next, and the next... lol
How do you make a good situation out of someone having a fit in a bath tub? Throw your laundry in with some washing powder.
Wallace ?I want to laugh not die laughing? Jk Jk ?we don't need to see that tho there are good jokes about already. you should of known better babe....I should of seen that coming. ?oh my god some of the jokes are brilliant
Difference with a rich kid and a poor kid when got into a fight Rich kid: im going to tell ths to MOMMY!! Poor kid: you mther ******! You noob! *******! Your dads ****!
A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
There are three women walking down the street when they find a bar, the two blonds walk into it and the brunette ducks.
A duck walks into a bar and asks: “Got any Bread?” Barman says: “No.” Duck says: “Got any bread?” Barman says: “No.” Duck says: “Got any bread?” Barman says: “No, we have no bread.” Duck says: “Got any bread?” Barman says: “No, we haven’t got any bread!” Duck says: “Got any bread?” Barman says: “No, are you deaf?! We haven’t got any bread, and if you ask me again and I’ll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!” Duck says: “Got any nails?” Barman says: “No” Duck says: “Got any bread?
What is the longest word in the world? Smile - because there is a mile between the first and last letter.
I knew a blonde that was so stupid that....... * she called me to get my phone number. * she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate." * she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. *she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. *she sent me a fax with a stamp on it. *she tried to drown a fish. *she thought a quarterback was a refund. *she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. *she tripped over a cordless phone. *she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. *she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. *she studied for a blood test. *she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. *when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved. *when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead. *when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home