So this is an unedited first draft, sorry y'all. LOOKING FOR AN EDITOR ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS ON MY WALL THANK YOU Soooooo, this doesn't have a name yet, um, I'm really bad at this. And public speaking soooooooo. Here's my story Chpt. 1 First nightDannie's POV There's no way. None at all, this is never going to work. We're both crazy. Not going to happen. Like, ever. Well, it's not possible to live 185 years either but, what the hell right, screw logic and reasoning, right? Of course. The doorbell sings "Never Gonna Dance Again" I changed it, ding-dong is so cliché. I slowly pad across the cement floor and up the cellar stairs. Down the hall and into the closet we call a mud room. "Cause Guilty Feet Have Got No Rhythm" The door bell chimmed for a second time, hold your frickin' horses. Slowly I approached the door. He's early. I really don't want to open it, really don't want him in my house, alone, there's so much he could do. And so much I would let him. He pounded on the door. "I see you kido! Open up!" Bang, bang, bang. "This isn't a game, lets go!" Of course. He was always so dominant, possive. With deliberate ease I unlocked the deadbolt am slipped out of the door way, counting his breaths. 1....2.....3.....and the door swong open. Great. Just looking at him I felt small, even with my above average 5'10, he was huge. At least a door taller, and broad shoulders. With a particular brutish-grace he stepped in and had me against the wall with the door locked. I hadn't even blinked. "Ready?" Critics welcome, please I love feed back FYI my name is Cia and feel free to comnent, I'll try to update as much as possible if people like it. Thanks for reading, more bumps=frequent updates
sorry it's really confusing y'all still looking for an editor and such here goes 2nd page Chpt. 1 First Night Dannie's POV god why was he so close? our noses where practically touching, and his breath was warm and stressed. I hadn't even noticed that my armed where pinned over my head in one of his large hands. "y-you said t-tomorrow" "and now it's today, I changed it" "then your going to have to wait" oh that lovely eye roll. surely this won't be the last time I get it. should be a fun trip, not. and yet we still put up with each other. I caught him glance at my wrists, counting. great. I thought he wouldn't notice. stupid me. "your not stupid" he murmured and rested his forehead on mine, eyes closed. how many times do I have to tell you that? when will you learn child? I knew you shouldn't be left alone" he sighed. "then why'd you come if you didn't want to see?" I mange to say in the faintest whisper. he makes me feel so small. like a little kid. ridiculous. insane. "yes, I am" spry it's kinda sucky, I'm still working on getting good writing down....yeah thanks for reading
Remember capitalization, and put punctuation after each piece of dialogue. It may just be a comma, but it still should be there. Also know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'.