Chasing Elysium

Chasing Elysium  
“It does not do to dwell in dreams and wishes and forget to live.”
-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

  Dreams are make believe things that we make inside our head. Sometimes, dreaming is better than living and its okay because dreams are made to escape reality. It is when a person decides what he could be, what he expects he should be and what he would be. Everyone dreams and as they say, the bigger your dreams are, the better. If you aren't challenged or scared of with your dreams, then you might as well not dream at all.   Dreaming is when you ultimately write your story, this is the part where you've decided what role you wanted to play not only in your story but to other's as well. You should dream of owning the oceans rather than dream of being a fisherman; dream of reaching the skies rather than being a pilot. Dream of being an astronaut or a fairy or Santa Claus because it's your dream and you have all the rights to do what you want. Viewing yourself 10 years from now, I'm pretty sure all of us longed for having a good life; the luxuries we never really had when we were still a kid; the freedom of wasting your own money, basically living the life of someone out from the movies.

  Dreaming for me is like writing a story which was stuck in my mind for a long time. The story was perfect in my head, much like dreaming and when I'm writing it down, it just flowed in the air; gone. The original plot was replaced with tons of tons of ideas that I cannot keep up anymore so I was forced to do another story and abandon the first one. It's like dreaming, you have this one dream you wanted to chase but when you're there running to it, you just stop and started asking 'what if?' Now you're side-tracked, leaving your dream alone and started looking for another one those which suites you best. I have a theory that in order for you to really catch your dreams, you should live the dream itself. If you wanted to be a singer, then sing; if you wanted to be rich then start saving money and waste it all in one day; if you wanted to be an awesome rock star then start shouting rather than talking. I hope you're getting my point because I am running out of metaphors.

  Dreaming is not for the fainthearted. Dreaming is for those people who dare to make it come true. We were all born with the magic to be who we wanted to be. So let us cast that magic spell and start making our dreams into reality. I'm not telling you that it would be easy but I'm telling you this, it will be well-worth it.  

  When I was a kid, we moved from place to place. It wasn't fun because I never really remember anything from the time I was in a different house. I just wished that I did something awesome and cool in that house; I prayed that I made memories worth looking back for. This is the thing with me, I wanted everything to be remembered, I want everyone to see what I saw, hear what I heard and feel what I felt because it feels great to make a memory with people around you. I wanted it stored in a jar or something. Having this trait, sometimes I deeply regret everything I did in my past life. I was never the fan of the quote, YOLO. I turned everything down from being an elected officer of the student body because I feel simply useless, I turned down to competes with other journalists because I just feel that I'm not good enough. I turned down every chance I got to prove myself and I regret it every second of the day.   This is the thing about me, I have zero self-esteem. And because my self-esteem walked away from me a long time ago, I have no sense of direction (not literally). I am currently in the phase of “what-should-I-do-with-my-life.” I never really know what I'm good at, what my skills are, what are my weaknesses and strengths and because of that, I am lost in the sea of helplessness and endless possibilities.   And I am scared.