Hi this is my first story it's not very good soo her goes btw I'm making this up as I write {Flashback} I see the lights the red lights of the truck coming near. I heard a scream but I don't know who screamed . Everything was in slow motion like punishing me for something I did wrong I felt pressure and a loud bang And I felt pain . But as I fainted I was thinking what did I ever do wrong {Flashback Fades} "Honey wake up it's morning " It's been 4 years since the accident . The first year I slipped into a coma but by the time a woke up my leg has been replaced by a metal one. "Fine mom" I'm only 16 and I love running when I first woke up I felt in a loss I couldn't run all I could do was walk. Just walk. When my friends saw me they left me .Just like that they were gone faster than they come. I met new friends and they saw how I was struggling .I was depressed without the wind in my hair my feet pressing the ground each step I took and my heart beating fast .They saw that and within a year they bought me new running legs . I was happy and now I ran. I was back to feeling the way I am now. It was like I refounded myself like I never left . I ate my breakfast and ran to the bus stop. My friend s were already there and so was the bus I mad it just in time. The day was like usual. The usual gossip ,bad cafeteria food,drama,classes and the usual homework. Everything was normal until I got to the track meet. ............ Sorry for the cliffhanger but pls Tell me how to make this story better Ths is just a one shot Pls leave constructive critism
๎Are you making this a story? Then it shouldn't be titled with 'oneshot'. Also, there are a ton of grammatical and spelling mistakes so I would suggest proofreading and whatnot.๎ And you should add detail.
Okay. ๎Some other things to add: I like how you made it different from other stories with the whole thin about not having her legs. But you should elaborate on her feelings, instead of just saying she was sad then quickly moving onto saying something else.
Don't put make every sentence a new paragraph and out comma's or periods in dialogue. "I'm fine," she said. or She said, "I'm fine."